03 | How Did I Not See It? The Real Reason You Missed the Red Flags

In this episode of The Messy Middle, we tackle one of the biggest, most painful questions almost every survivor of narcissistic or emotionally abusive relationships eventually asks: How did I not see it?Spoiler alert: it’s not because you’re naive, dumb, gullible, or any of the garbage your inner critic might fling at you. I break down exactly why intelligent, empathetic, emotionally aware women end up in these relationships, why the early love bombing feels intoxicating instead of suspicious, and how your nervous system, childhood conditioning, and craving for genuine connection all play a role in overriding those early intuitive nudges.You’ll hear:Why charm is not a personality trait but a manipulation tacticHow narcissistic partners gather “intel” early on and weaponize it laterWhy your nervous system will often choose the familiar over the healthyThe real reason you cling to denial longer than you thinkHow grief shows up when the truth finally landsWhy “safe” partners can feel boring or wrong How to start rebuilding trust in your intuition without fearIf you’ve ever tortured yourself with “I should have known better,” this episode will feel like a deep exhale. You’ll understand the psychology, the biology, the conditioning and the truth behind why you didn’t see it… and why none of it was your fault.📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start! 📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.