077. The 5 Types of Mom Friends You Need with Emily Siegel

“What are the things we need in a village to feel supported in our motherhood?” As humans, we crave connection. As moms, I swear we crave it tenfold. It feels good to be supported and seen and loved and understood wherever we are on our motherhood journeys. But there’s this message out there or a belief or a generational hangover or something that is holding us back from friendship…many moms feel like they have to mother alone, that that’s “just the way it is,” or even how it should be. But I believe that’s just not true. You are automatically part of a group when we become a mom. Whether that is in-person, online, or just energetically. You have millions of women surrounding you who get it. Women whom you can call “friend” for a moment or a season or a lifetime. But certain cultural messages or limiting beliefs can leave us feeling disconnected from that sisterhood. The village is automatic…and yet it also has to be created, too. How confusing. No wonder so many of us feel overwhelmed at the idea of making friends as adults…especially early on in motherhood or are going through a big life change like a move and are trying to sort out other details of our life at the same time. Or many of us fall into the trap of believing that one person can fill all of our needs for us…that there is just one human—a unicorn BFF or a spouse—who can be the support, see us, know us,  love us, and understand us. A sort of “one stop shop” for friendship. But I’m not sure it’s fair to put all of that onto one person and expect them to be everything to us or for us. Don’t get me wrong, my husband (who is one of my best friends) and my BFF (who is now also a mom) make me feel loved, supported, seen, and understood without a shadow of a doubt. BUT. They aren’t the only ones who can do that for me. And as I diversified my friend circle (mostly through moms group and by connecting with moms I used to babysit or nanny for whose children are older) I inadvertently took some of the burden off of my husband and best friend by having my friendship needs met by others. Having a diverse group of friends also gives me perspective that one person can’t always provide. There are so many ways we can talk about and examine our friendships and I really appreciate the way today’s guest, Emily Siegel, breaks it down for us. She believes that we can thrive having 5 different types of connections—and I think she is onto something. Emily has been studying friendship, talking about it, shining a light on it, and really taking the mystery out of friendship so that moms everywhere can start to shift out of this mindset that friends are too hard to make. Today she is going to help us look at mindset and motivation, give us ideas for how we can overcome obstacles when making mom friends, and ways we can give ourselves grace as we learn how to make friendship feel lighter. Emily’s Bio: Emily Siegel is a corporate mom and fierce friend. Host of The Connected Mom Life Podcast, she believes that authentic connections are not a nice-to-have, they are a must-have! And she is on a mission to help moms create more of them. Because she knows we weren’t made to mom alone, and it’s time to stop trying. This conversation left me feeling grateful for the friends I already have—Emily helped me see all the ways they offer support and understanding—but it also left me feeling open and excited for all the friends I don’t know yet as seasons change. My hope is that you’ll feel encouraged and grateful after this episode, too. FULL SHOW NOTES OVER AT: WWW.ELEVATINGMOTHERHOOD.COM  Love the podcast? Please let me & your mama friends know! Leave a review on iTunes to let me what’s serving you best. Thank you, mama! I appreciate you!