10: In sobriety we let go of the past

I work hard on letting the past stay where it belongs. I truly believe in: whatever is done is done and over, and it cannot be changed or undone. Words so easy to say, but hard to follow with action. I do believe I have a strong mindset, but I am still human. I still lose focus and fall back into destructive thinking. Especially with things that are more recent, and things I still haven’t resolved. I do believe there are silver linings in every situation, we just don’t see it at the moment, as they are only revealed with time if we are open to it. In today’s reflection it states: I can wish the past never was, but if I change my actions in regard to what I have done, my attitude will change. My dilemma right now is, how do I change my action(s) in regards to what I have done? The only concept I can think of is stepping away for a while and allowing time to pass. I have asked for forgiveness, I have tried to mend what was broken, and I have taken accountability for my part in the matter. All I see now is an image of trying to put back a million broken pieces by myself, while the second party stands or walks nearby as if they had no involvement in it. Leaving me struggling and frustrated. Recently I began to take breaks from the broken pieces, and as each day goes by I take more breaks. It leaves me feeling like a failure, but it also reveals to me that there is nothing more I can do but walk away. I am starting to believe I can’t put it back together ever again.