1105 The Dark Side of Wisdom

After a lifetime of objectively pursuing wisdom: creating a list of knowledge & experience and achieving everything on it; I now feel satisfied that I am indeed wise. However, one of the bad things wisdom brings, which I should have expected but I didn’t yet have enough wisdom to know, is that the person I was before, and all of my past actions, seem embarrassing in retrospect: a hindsight of foolishness. In fact, my memories make me physically cringe; rather than taking pride in my accomplishments, I feel chagrin & shame of the ridiculous & naive antics I participated in, which overshadows my laudable goals: showing that negative feelings & memories are more powerful than positive ones. I would liked to have gained that important bit of wisdom at the beginning of my search rather than at the end so that I could have made the choice to continue or not?