This is optimal living daily episode 1756. Do you need a particular outcome to be happy by Alison Carmen of alicincarman.com and I'm just a molecular old friend and personal narrator covering personal development and minimalism on the show? Mostly happy first of October time is flying. We're making some changes around here for the first of the month.
Nothing on this show particularly, but optimal finance daily, which is the second show we ever created. Dana has been hosting that for over four years. We're actually getting a new host there, Diana Miriam. She's a personal finance enthusiast, even has her own personal finance conference.
She'll be offering her own wisdom here and there. And it'd mean a lot if you give her a warm welcome and check out that show. That's optimal finance daily where articles include a lot of same authors here on this show, but more about how to save money, earn more, what to do with it after you've saved money, great content. It's not too dry, very practical.
So please check that out. Give her a warm welcome. That's optimal finance daily. You can subscribe to that.
And then the previous host, Dan, he's still with us, but hosting optimal startup daily, which is making a comeback. It's a great one to check out too. If you work for yourself or are interested in working for yourself, so those are the asks for today, please give those podcasts a shot to optimal finance daily and optimal startup daily. You can subscribe for free.
A quick reminder at the end, so for now, get right to it and start optimizing your life. Do you need a particular outcome to be happy by Alison Carmen of AlisonCarmen.com? Although I rarely practice law anymore, these past months, I've been trying to help my cousin purchase his family's dream home in New York. My cousin and his wife have one child and another on the way.
Because of my emotional attachment, it's been difficult dealing with the many bumps and challenges of this transaction. Yet I believe that I could get this deal done for them. It became so important to me in part because my cousin had been very sick at one time and the opportunity to buy this home seemed like a new beginning for him. And my mind actually started to believe that my cousin needed this particular deal to happen for his happiness and well-being.
My cousin does not have a lot of money and this house would be stretching it, but affordable. It was located near his job and in a good school district. Yesterday, we got word that the bank wouldn't lend them enough money to get the deal done. I was so upset and feeling very down last night about the news and I was only able to sleep a few hours.
As I woke up this morning, I realized that I was feeling down not because they didn't get the house. I was down because I had slipped out of maybe the minute I started to believe my cousin needed this particular home for his happiness and well-being. I had doomed myself to stress fear and disappointment. No matter what had happened, the house did not hold his happiness.
I fell out of maybe because the bank's rejection destroyed my high hopes and I interpreted that to mean my cousin's dream of owning a nice home was no longer possible and what I wanted for him and his family could no longer be attained. In reality, however, all that really happened is that life was not fitting into my plan or my story for my cousin's life. Once I opened my heart to maybe again, I realized that there are always many more possibilities than the one we envision. Just like I did with my cousin scenario, it is easy to slip out of maybe on a daily basis.
How often, for instance, do we believe that we need to get a particular job or promotion for our lives to be going in the right direction or that a particular stock must go up for us to be financially secure or that we need to land a particular client to further our careers. How often have we yearned for a certain person to like us so we can be happy story after story we tell ourselves reinforcing the belief that life must unfold in certain ways to guarantee our well-being and success. Logically, most of us would agree that there are many ways to achieve a particular goal, but emotionally, we fail to live with this knowledge in our daily lives. When the emotional attachment to our stories defies logic, we fall into a trap and stay there and stay there.
For me, when I returned to maybe, I realized that maybe there are other homes to buy and other choices my cousin can make for him and his family. As my cousin and I sat with all these possibilities today, our inner wisdom began to guide us to other ideas to qualify for the mortgage more to find another home. In fact, there's a cheaper home down the same block that he had not considered because he thought it was too small. We figured out today that maybe it's not too small after all.
We know we don't have all the answers to help his situation, but we are open and hopeful that we will find his family an affordable home, good schools for his children and ways to reduce my cousin's stress. And Landa, maybe his options have no limits. So today, try to list all the inner stories that you keep thinking what must occur in the future for your happiness and well-being. Do these stories about what needs to happen next in your life make you stressed or unhappy and are you losing sleep?
Nothing to yourself, maybe. Maybe this event will happen or maybe there is another way to achieve your goals, or maybe there is something else out there for you that you can't see right now. Let me be, allow you the room to breathe and stretch and open up to all that is possible. Let me be, give you ground to stay hopeful until you find your way.
You just listened to the post titled Do You Need a Particular Outcome to Be Happy by Allison Carmen of AllisonCarmen.com. If they get Allison so true, I'm sure we all get stuck in this way of thinking from time to time. I know in a recent episode I talked about how we think that once we make X amount of money or get X amount of likes on Instagram, we will have reached a certain level where we are just there, happy. I think we all know that that doesn't exist.
Try not to get stuck or fixated on one thing to determine your happiness or even several. Try to find it within. So thank you Allison for that reminder and story. Check out her podcast, 10 minutes to less suffering.
And speaking of a quick reminder, today we relaunched Optimal Start Up Daily, perfect during this time if you're looking to make extra money by starting your own business or freelancing. There's a great material there. Dan, the host of Optimal Finance Daily is hosting that show and we have a new host for Finance, Diana. Close in name, definitely not the same though.
She might even answer some of your questions on the show. She's a personal finance enthusiast, has her own personal finance conference and did a quick episode about herself today on Optimal Finance Daily. So please check those shows out to give them both some support and mean a lot. That's Optimal Finance Daily and Optimal Start Up Daily.
As I should do it for today, have a great rest of your day. Thank you for being here and listening every day. And I'll see you tomorrow for the Friday episode where you're Optimal Life. Oh, wait.