19 | I'm a Failure | and Other Lies I'm Telling Myself

Your brain is a liar. A confident, relentless, very convincing liar. And for a lot of us, the negative self talk is not a passing bad mood. It is a whole greatest hits album playing on repeat in the car, at two in the morning, in the middle of a meeting that is going completely fine.This episode is about all of it. The failure spiral. The replacement fear. The not-loved-enough loop. The low hum of never quite feeling good enough at your job, as a mom, as a partner, as a human. I dig into where negative self talk actually comes from, why it hits so much harder for some of us (there is a name for that, and it is connected to ADHD), and the embarrassingly simple CBT method that actually helps when the spiral starts. Fair warning: this episode will not tell you to just think positive. It will tell you the truth instead. 💬 Why You'll Love This Episode:The reason some of us feel rejection and failure so intensely, it is not a character flaw, it is how your brain is wiredWhy negative self talk goes physical, and why the heavy, sick, weighted feeling is not dramatic, it is cortisolThe Evidence of Good method: what it is, how it works, and why fighting confident lies requires actual dataThe one question to ask yourself when the replacement fear kicks in, before you spiral for three hours over a calendar inviteResearch LinksRejection Sensitive Dysphoria and ADHDADDitude Magazine: additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhdUnderstood.org: understood.org/en/articles/adhd-and-coping-with-rejectionCleveland Clinic: my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24099-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-rsd Physical Effects of Negative Self TalkUniversity of Southern Queensland on RSD and emotional dysphoria: unisq.edu.au/news/2025/07/the-conversation-sensitive-dysphoria CBT and Managing the SpiralNeurodivergent Insights on managing RSD: neurodivergentinsights.com/how-to-deal-with-rejection-sensitive-dysphoriaLA Concierge Psychologist on RSD coping: laconciergepsychologist.com/blog/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-adhdLet’s keep growing together! ✨ Follow along and say hi on Instagram: @jamiecoleco 🌱 Want more support, tools, and resources? Start here: jamiecole.co