224. “I took on debt to help my family. Now she won’t marry me.”

Episode 226 of the Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi podcast, hosted by Ramit Sethi, titled "224. “I took on debt to help my family. Now she won’t marry me.”" was published on September 2, 2025 and runs 92 minutes.

September 2, 2025 ·92m · Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Summary

Rachel (31) and Pierre (42) have been together for four years, building a loving and stable life in Brooklyn. But one issue is holding everything back: Pierre’s $60,000 in debt from a failed business he started to support his family. His plan is to wait it out, hoping the problem disappears. But Rachel is unwilling to move forward towards marriage until there’s a plan in place. To her, his passive approach feels like a warning sign for their future together. Can Ramit help them face the reality of this debt, make a plan, and build a shared vision? In this episode we uncover: • Why Rachel vowed never to date someone with debt—and why she chose to date Pierre anyway • Pierre’s family vape shop business collapse and the $60,000 in debt he took on to try to save it • The stark difference in how each partner views the debt • Why Pierre believes ignoring the judgment is a valid strategy • Rachel’s habit of minimizing her own fears • How Pierre’s family history shaped his own sense of obligation • Rachel’s painful history with her mother being scammed out of $60,000 • The tension between investing for the future versus paying off past mistakes • How cultural expectations and family loyalty complicate Pierre’s decision-making around money • The breaking point: Rachel admits she cannot say yes to a proposal without a clear plan for the debt • Ramit’s game plan to get the debt paid off—the right way Chapters: (00:00:00) “If you don’t handle this debt, I won’t marry you” (00:19:50) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:27:25) “Happy wife, happy life” — but what about the debt? (00:41:53) He took on debt for his family — but at what cost to his future? (00:55:01) “I don’t ask my dad for money… and I don’t ask Pierre either” (01:07:31) How small sacrifices can open the door to big changes (01:23:21) Logistics are a big turn on (01:30:50) Where are they now? Rachel and Pierre’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: SonderMind | Go to https://sondermind.com to get matched with the right therapist in less than a week. Doola | Go to https://doola.com/ramit and use code RAMIT for 10% off LLC formation and bookkeeping. Masterclass | For unlimited access to every class and 15% off an annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit Rocket Money | Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way at https://rocketmoney.com/ramit Notion | Try Notion for free at https://notion.com/ramit and experience the powerful, easy-to-use Notion AI today. Links mentioned in this episode • Get tickets for my next live events—September 14 in Atlanta and September 26 in Los Angeles—at https://iwt.com/events Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

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