24. The One About Reclaiming Your Body, Boundaries & Better Sex (with Ruby Josif)

What this episode covers

Somatic sexologist and coach Ruby Josif joins me for a grounded, empowering chat on coming back to your body, redefining "good sex," and raising tweens/teens with consent, language, and self-trust. We dig into nervous-system safety, shame, intimacy after kids, and how to actually start the conversation with your partner-vulnerably, not defensively. What we cover * Ruby's mission: confidence, pleasure, and authentic expression—inside the bedroom and out * Why needs, desires, and boundaries underpin satisfying intimacy * Getting back into your body: tiny, safe somatic practices (outside the bedroom first) * Nervous-system basics: moving from "fight/flight" to "rest/digest" * Active presence for busy mums: walking, touch, self-massage, dance * Talking to kids: correct anatomical language, everyday consent, being a safe parent * Spotting shame: hiding, shutdown, judgment of others, the "gripping" in your body * Redefining "good sex": less goal/organism-chasing, more connection & nourishment * From "obligatory sex" to desire: expanding what intimacy can look like * Couples communication: lead with vulnerability & curiosity, not resentment * Taking responsibility for your pleasure (and why partners aren't mind-readers) * How to work with Ruby: mentorship, focus sessions, therapeutic yoni massage (WA) Key takeaways * Start outside the bedroom: build safety and presence in small moments. * If sex feels like a chore, widen the definition of intimacy and follow what nourishes you. * Teach kids correct words and everyday consent early—make yourself the safe person. * Desire grows when experiences feel good for you; obligatory sex erodes it. * Lead tough talks with "I feel/I need/I'm desiring…" and genuine curiosity. Try this (listener micro-practice) When you park the car (or make tea), place both hands on your body, take three slow breaths, and ask: "What sensation is here? What do I need right now?"  Thirty seconds. Daily. Connect Guest: Ruby Josif - somatic sexologist & coach (based in WA; mentorships, focus sessions, therapeutic yoni massage).  * https://www.ruby-josif.com/ * https://www.instagram.com/ruby.josif.sex.coach/ Host: Victoria R — The Mindful Educator: mindset, mindfulness, education & mum life. * https://www.victoria-r.com.au * [email protected] * @the.victoria.r