25 | Dating as a Practice Ground for Self-Trust

Dating after narcissistic abuse or coercive control can feel less like excitement… and more like a full-blown survival exam.In this episode, I’m talking about why dating after abuse often becomes loaded with pressure, hypervigilance, self-criticism, and endless overthinking.The “Am I gonna miss the red flags again?” spiral. The scanning. The second-guessing. The feeling that every interaction somehow determines whether you’ll end up hurt all over again.But what if dating wasn’t actually about finding “the one” right now?What if it became a practice ground for rebuilding self-trust instead?We dive into:Why dating apps and modern dating can feel so dysregulating after emotional abuseUsing dating as a social experiment instead of a high-stakes performanceHow to stay connected to yourself while interacting with other peopleThe small moments where self-trust is either built or abandonedThe importance of noticing how your body feels after a date, not just during itRed flags to pay attention to, especially around misogyny, accountability, empathy, and controlWhy discernment is more important than perfectionThis episode is not about becoming cynical, guarded, or terrified of relationships. It’s about learning how to stop disappearing inside them.Because the goal isn’t to become perfect at spotting every bad person instantly. The goal is learning how to stay connected to yourself while gathering information, observing behavior, and trusting your own nervous system again.Dating becomes very different when the focus shifts from:“Do they like me?”to:“Do I actually like how I feel around them?”This is an episode about self-trust, nervous systems, boundaries, intuition, discernment, people-pleasing, healing after narcissistic abuse, and learning how to stop betraying yourself in tiny ways just to keep someone else comfortable.And somewhere in the middle of all that… you might actually start having fun again too.📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start! 📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.