26 | The 'Was it really that bad?" Thought Spiral..

One of the most confusing parts of recovery after narcissistic abuse or coercive control is the moment you catch yourself wondering:"Was it really that bad?"In this episode of The Messy Middle, Erica dives into the painful spiral so many survivors experience after leaving an abusive relationship. The memories start to soften. The good moments rise to the surface. The loneliness feels louder than the harm. And before you know it, you're questioning your own reality all over again.If you've ever found yourself missing someone who hurt you, replaying the good times, or wondering whether you exaggerated what happened, this episode is for you.Erica explores why this happens, how gaslighting continues long after the relationship ends, and why your brain naturally tries to edit painful memories to reduce discomfort. She also explains why so many survivors question themselves, return to unhealthy relationships, or worry that they're somehow the problem.Inside this episode, you'll learn:Why your brain tends to remember the good moments firstHow loneliness can distort your perception of the pastThe lasting impact of gaslighting and self-doubtWhy questioning yourself doesn't mean you're wrongHow to stay anchored in reality without re-traumatizing yourselfThe difference between remembering isolated moments and looking at the overall patternWhy it's possible for good memories and harmful dynamics to exist at the same timeThis is a compassionate conversation about self-trust, healing, and staying connected to the truth of your experience when your mind starts rewriting the story.If you're caught in the "maybe it wasn't that bad" spiral, take a breath and press play. You are not alone, and there are very real reasons this happens.As always, send in your questions and Erica may answer them in a future episode.📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start! 📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.