# 28 - Why AuDHD Boundaries Don’t Look the Same Two Days in a Row

Send us Fan MailIn this episode of Quietly Autistic at Last, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores a question many AuDHD women recognize but often struggle to explain: why do boundaries sometimes change from one day to the next? One day social interaction feels manageable, and the next day even answering a message can feel overwhelming. Rather than inconsistency, this experience reflects the dynamic nature of the AuDHD nervous system.Drawing on research in autism, ADHD, interoception, and Polyvagal Theory, this episode explains how sensory load, executive functioning variability, dopamine regulation, and the cumulative effects of masking all influence daily capacity. Dr. Sucamele discusses why AuDHD brains often operate within a wider window of neurological fluctuation and how shifting boundaries can actually be a form of healthy self-regulation.If you’ve ever questioned your reliability, doubted your needs, or wondered why your energy and tolerance change so dramatically from day to day, this episode offers a compassionate reframe. Your boundaries are not failing - they are your nervous system communicating its real-time limits. Learning to listen to those signals is one of the most powerful steps toward self-trust and sustainable wellbeing.If today’s episode brings up difficult feelings and you need support, you can reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the United States by calling or texting 988, or by visiting 988lifeline.org for free, confidential support.You can also connect with the Quietly Autistic at Last Podcast community for episode clips, reflections, and resources:Instagram: @quietlyautisticatlastpodcastWebsite: quietlyautisticatlast.buzzsprout.com