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Chris Patti of Appalachian State University with oldpodcast.com. One thing I know for sure, there is a lot in life we can't control. When I was 14, my dad died of cancer. He was only 39 at the time, and he was one of the most alive, enlightened and passionate people you can imagine.
He was a mix of Indiana Jones and Clark Griswold. I've spent the last 19 years of my life learning to live with his loss, and I've dedicated my life and career to understanding the suffering that is inherent to human life. That's what initially brought me to Buddhist and existential philosophy, and I now consider myself an agnostic Buddhist. The first of the four noble truths of Buddhism is that life entails suffering.
The second is that the cause of suffering has to do with how we think about ourselves and the world around us. To me, a perspective that acknowledges the suffering that we all have, whether we're the most privileged or disadvantaged person out there, is one that embraces a radically honest approach to life. Everything falls apart. Even the seemingly eternal sun of the center of our solar system will one day, many millions of years in the future, explode into a red giant and swallow up the earth before collapsing into a white dwarf and eventually burning out.
It boggles the mind. Does this sound like a bummer? In my quest to deal with my own and other suffering, I've learned that our culture teaches us to avoid discomfort at all costs. We find all manner of ways to run from it.
We consume substances or material possessions or media or whatever, in order to temporarily evade, push away, hide from, distract ourselves from, and dole the acuteness of our pain. The irony is, at a deep, intuitive level, we know that doesn't work. The suffering comes back, often in a subtler and more powerful form. Trying to hide from it, dole it, and push away only adds more anxiety to the equation.
Again, bummer, right? The funny thing is, in practicing going towards suffering and holding it in awareness as Buddhist non-paymachodron or Buddhist monk taking on Han teaches, we can actually find a deeper piece with and appreciation of the world and our lives and relationships just as they are and all their ephemeral, tragicomic beauty. You don't have to be Buddhist or existentialist to experience what I'm talking about in your own life. You don't have to be religious or agnostic and atheist or scientist either.
This is the same lesson I've learned from working and writing with Holocaust survivors. For my doctorate, I spent three years having compassionate conversations with Holocaust survivors on the theme of how they and we can deal gracefully with suffering. What emerged from this process was a great respect for human experience and the human spirit, when faced with even impossible incomprehensible situations. The survivors I talked with shared with me a wisdom that is found across cultures and throughout history.
This is the same wisdom, contemporary neuroscientists, psychologists and medical experts are proving in the research done by organizations like the University of California, Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, John Caput-Zinn's program of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, and the collaboration between the Dalai Lama and Researchers of the Mind and Life Institute. So just what is this big wisdom we've all been stumbling upon for thousands of years, this insight that could help us deal with the inherent suffering of our lives, it comes down to a learning to surf. Let me explain by sharing a classic story from a Holocaust survivor you're probably heard of, Viktor Frankl. To me, the story is a heart of his book, Man's Search for Meaning, and it's the best way to explain what I mean.
Frankl's story took on new meaning for me this past summer as I traveled to Poland for the first time to witness the death camp at Auschwitz-Birkenau. Frankl's book is about his experience in Auschwitz, a suffering so intense, inhumane, horrifying, and unknowable that it seems from another universe. In this worst of human conditions, however, Frankl looked up to the sky through the barbed wire and saw the white clouds in blue atmosphere above. In this moment, I thought, transfixed him.
Quote, For the first time in my life I saw the truth as it said in a song by so many poets, proclaimed as a final wisdom by so many thinkers. I understood how a human who has nothing left in this world still may no bliss be only for a brief moment. When his or her only achievement may consist in enduring his or her sufferings in the right way, an honorable way." Unquote. This is a moment I come back to again and again in the classes I teach.
If Frankl could come to this realization even in the worst of human situations, maybe you and I can come to it in the difficulties of our everyday lives? Medical scientist and mindfulness guru John Capizin famously quotes the yogi, swami satchitananda's aphorism. You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf. This is what Frankl, those I've interviewed, and all of these poets, existentialists, Buddhists, and neuroscientists are talking about.
The question is, can you make a practice of learning to surf the inevitable waves of your life? Can you practice dealing gracefully with that which you cannot control? Practicing as high as the human arts, the art of suffering, well, it's tied to joy and appreciation for our lives and the world around us. Its byproduct is a deep gratitude for this very moment, and the possibilities afforded by this present moment, even for those of us struggling with the cute difficulties.
The best way of learning to practice surfing the waves of my life is through simple mindfulness meditation, learning to quite literally come back to my senses in the present moment for even a moment. Meditation is tough. Pausing on purpose is a radical act that goes against the grain of our culture and habitual behavior. Rather than being in escape from our fears, stresses, and suffering, it gets us to notice and non-judgmentally sit with what's actually happening within us and without us at this very moment.
One minute a day is a good place to start, and now is a good time, and it's always with us. Keep your feet. Breathe in. Bring as much awareness as you can to the feeling of breathing out.
Notice how you feel. Notice what's going on around you. When a thought comes up, good, bad, or neutral, notice that too. When you drift off, no problem.
Notice that and come back to the breath in the present moment. This is a practice. See for yourself if it doesn't help change your attitude toward what is happening in your life. What I know for sure is there are a lot of things we can't control.
Existential freedom is realizing that no matter our external circumstances, we can control our attitude toward what is happening. When we do, like Frankl, no one and nothing can mess with us, and that's real freedom. While I wish my father hadn't died, I've learned to appreciate what his death has taught me and how it has connected me to others who suffer. Compassion, after all, means to suffer with.
This is the best lesson I've learned. It gives me a profound appreciation for life, for those around me, for loving and being loved, even when things are tough and transient. Life is all the more precious for it. What a miracle it is that we're here at all.
Learning to serve is a lifelong practice. The waves keep coming, so I hope you'll paddle out with me. All it takes is the intention to do so, and it's a beautiful way to live. You just listened to the post titled On Suffering and Surfing by Dr.
Chris Patti of Appalachian State University with OldPodcast.com. I'm constantly thinking about how to optimize my health, what supplements to take, hours of sleep, what my diet should focus on. Superpower finally takes the guessing out of it. One simple lab test covers over 100 biomarkers, and their app gives you a complete picture of your heart, liver, hormones, metabolism, even environmental toxins.
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I can't recommend him enough as a mentor and support system. You can reach him at pattycjatapstate.edu and pattyaspelledpatti. And I'll have this post up at oldpodcast.com with some helpful links to if you want to dive into this topic a little more. Just visit oldpodcast.com slash 300 and I'll take you straight to this post.
And while you're there, if you want to show some support and join my weekly newsletter, I greatly appreciate it. You'll get some spreadsheets from me, video tutorial, and a weekly email with what's going on in my life, some live tips, and usually a picture of some sort. I'll try to find one of me and Chris from back in the day if I can and include that in the email going out next day or two. And I'll leave it at that.
Thank you for listening. Special thanks if you listen to all 300 episodes, that's amazing if you have. And here's to another 300. I'll see you in episode 301 tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits.
Thanks for joining us, and remember, your optimal life awaits.