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Villarreal. Love the way. This is Optimal Living Daily. Action versus intention.
When context is everything. By a landmassicot of free-to-pursue.com. And I'm Justin Molick, your very own personal narrator. I read to you every single day of the year so that you don't have to go find blogs and articles yourself.
I find the best authors online in my opinion and simply read them to you for free. So that's get right to it and continue optimizing your life. Action versus intention. When context is everything.
By a landmassicot of free-to-pursue.com. It happens in the car, at work, at home, when we're out and about. We all do it. We judge.
We judge ourselves and we judge others. We judge everything we and others do, say and opine. It might be just for an instant, but we still do it. To judge is not necessarily a bad thing.
We need to observe and evaluate what's around us, how we learn, how we decide what we like or don't like. It's also how we evaluate opportunities and risks. Our judgment is a great asset, especially when it's been cultivated into good judgment and common sense. But even a great asset can cause us trouble from time to time.
Context is everything. For as long as I can remember, context is everything has been one of my favorite expressions. It's a good reminder that we don't always have all the information to understand what's going on when something just doesn't seem right or isn't clear. It invites us to question, to pursue our curiosity when we're confused by something or simply want to understand it better.
And I appreciated it even more when a speaker introduced me to the concept of action versus intention, which I can remember my original source. I've heard it a number of times since. Action versus intention. The way it was presented to me is that we judge others actions based on the actions alone.
We can only witness what they say or do, but we don't know what drove them to do it. We're judging their behavior without understanding their why. On the other hand, we have a pretty good idea of why we behave the way we do. We know what led up to it, what's influencing us now, or what drove us to act a given way in a past event.
You could say we have full disclosure when it comes to what we do and why. That means, in effect, that we judge ourselves based on our intentions but that we judge others based on their actions. Stacking the deck. By judging ourselves based on our intentions and judging others based on their actions, we're really stacking the deck in our favor and then some.
How can there possibly be a fair comparison between our behavior and how it compares to that of others? It sets the bar artificially low, doesn't it? Not sure what I mean. Let me explain what the story you may have heard before.
A man is riding on a subway with his two children. They're running around in the aisle, jumping on the seats, swinging on the handles and the poles, and driving the other passengers a bit crazy. Well, it should be no surprise to say that he's getting dirty looks from just about everyone around him as they wonder why he isn't tending to them. But finally, a woman looks at him and asks why he's not minding his children.
He looks up, slowly emerging from his stupor as he realizes she's asked him a question. He apologizes, explaining that he and his children are on their way home from the hospital, his wife having just passed away. Without additional context, it's easy to believe that he's an uncaring passenger and parent. It's easy to judge harshly and swiftly.
One simple question flipped our attitude from intolerance to acceptance and our emotion from contempt to sympathy. This idea of how I judge myself versus how I judge others has gradually permeated most of my interactions, and though I still have some way to go, it feels wonderful. It makes me a happier and more patient driver, spouse, friend, business owner, coach, customer, speaker, and person in general. I'm more content, not only because I've learned to give the benefit of the doubts and ask questions when I can, but because I realize that others don't have context for my own behavior and that I have to cut them some slack when they react negatively to something I've said written or done.
Of course, if I have the chance and it's appropriate and I want to, I tend to offer the context they need to understand my why. This increased awareness has also had a humbling effect, because when as a rule I give everyone the benefit of the doubts unless proven otherwise, it knocks me off my pedestal. I can't always assume my thoughts, words, and actions would be or are more appropriate than anyone else's. To be sure of that, I'd have to know the whole story.
And often, that is nearly impossible. You just listen to the post titled, action versus intention when context is everything by a landmassicot of freetopursu.com, and I'll be right back with my commentary. I'm constantly thinking about how to optimize my health, what supplements to take, hours of sleep, what my diet should focus on. Superpower finally takes the guessing out of it.
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They can do a land well said. I'm not sure I can add much to this one, except to say that I hope it can stick with you. The story about the man on the subway is one I've heard before and actually does pop back up into my consciousness when I catch myself being irritated by a crazy driver or someone being inconsiderate. I often catch myself thinking, well, who am I to judge what they're going through in this moment?
I know that I've been impatient before when I was late to something, and their situation could be much worse than simply being late. With that simple consideration, not only can it bring some relief to our own stress and mindset, but also make us more kind and understanding towards others, which I think we could use a lot more of in this world. So hopefully this one can stick with you this weekend, even this whole month, year and beyond, wishing you a great one, and I'll see you tomorrow as usual, where your optimal life awaits.