It's a Minimalist Monday edition of Optimal Living Daily episode 395, an excerpt from the audiobook Essential, essays by the Minimalists by Joshua Fields Milburn and Ryan Nicodemus. And I'm Justin Malek. Happy Monday and welcome to the podcast where I simply read to you every single day of the year, completely free, and nearly 400 episodes long. I can't even imagine how much time that is or how many books worth of audio I've read to you.
I did the calculation probably about, I don't know, six months ago and it was a lot. I'll have to do that again sometime. Anyway, I'm working pretty hard right now wrapping up an audiobook for the Minimalists so for the last two days I've been playing excerpts from a different audiobook that I did for them and I'm going to continue that today and tomorrow so I can continue working. Hope you don't mind.
It's actually pretty much the same thing as a typical episode here because the audiobook Essential is really just essays from their blog. So yeah, pretty much a typical episode of Optimal Living Daily where I read blogs to you. So with that, let's get right to the excerpt as we optimize your life. An excerpt from the audiobook Essential, essays by the Minimalists by Joshua Fields Milburn and Ryan Nicodemus.
Building Your Trust Muscle by Joshua Fields Milburn The most important skill I learned during my dozen years in the corporate world was trust. When I started managing people in my early 20s, I tried to micromanage their work. The more I tried to be involved in every detail, that is the more I tried to do their work on my own, the more distrust I showed. As the years went on, however, I managed more and more employees, hundreds of people, and I was forced to relinquish control.
Every good leader has this skill. I don't know a single great leader who is also a great micromanager. Trust isn't something that just happens though. You must develop your trust muscle.
To do so, one must relinquish control. Simply let go. People will fail. They will let you down.
That's inevitable. You can let those failures disappoint you or you can let them help you grow. One failure isn't the end of the world. Over time, the people who repeatedly succeed will solidify the trust you placed in them, and the people who consistently fail will lose your trust altogether.
Know Thy Neighbor by Ryan Nicodemus Do you know your neighbors? I mean, do you really know your neighbors? I lived in a condo development in which there were roughly 80 units, and I really didn't know any of the people living there other than a few of their names and faces. I didn't value their relationships or potential relationships.
When I first moved into the neighborhood, I looked at the situation like any other single bachelor. It was an opportunity to live in a nice place virtually maintenance-free. With a busy life, I enjoyed the thought of not spending hours on upkeep every week, doing maintenance work that people who own houses do regularly. Or so I thought.
After the first few months of living there, I realized there was a plethora of issues with the condo association. They hardly did anything around the place other than mow the grass and keep up on small odds and ends, roof leaks, siding repairs, etc. With the tough economic times, they had not been able to add much value to the property. At one point, I was solicited by several board members to impeach other members on the board.
I was asked to pick sides and support the election of a new board. Since I didn't know any of my neighbors, it was hard to choose which side was right, and it was difficult to decipher who was right and who was wrong. It felt like everyone was being negative, including myself. After just a year of living there, I wanted to leave because of this, and after adopting a minimalist lifestyle, I especially wanted out of there, realizing I had this gigantic place all to myself.
It was overwhelming. I spent many days frustrated and blamed the board for the bickering and inability to manage the budget. This was their fault, not mine. I fell into this why me stage, which only exacerbated my frustration.
One of my neighbors, who was on the board, sent out an email asking for everyone in the community to pitch in and volunteer to do some upkeep around the community, to make the place a little nicer and increase morale. My first thought when I saw this email was, why do I pay condo dues if I have to do the upkeep myself? Then I realized that this attitude toward the board and the why me attitude was only worsening the situation. So I did the opposite of what I wanted to do.
I replied and said I would help. When the workday rolled around, there were six owners, including myself out of roughly 80, who showed up to help. I did not let this discourage me because, again, I was sick of fueling my frustration. I worked my ass off and did what needed to be done for the day.
As we worked, I got to know my five neighbors, and I realized they were just as frustrated as me. I also developed a good relationship with the board member who arranged the community workday. I felt better about the changes he was trying to make. It took the board about five years to sink the association, and after talking with him, I realized it was probably going to take a few years to repair the damage.
Until I actually got to know my neighbors that day, I honestly thought everyone was out for themselves, which may still be the case with some of them. But they were just like me. After we all spent the day with each other, we felt much closer and formed a bond that was beneficial to our entire community. 7 Ways to Meaningful Conversations Our relationships are one of the most important aspects of living a good life.
Conversing with a close friend can be one of the most intimate experiences we have. Yet we often don't value these conversations like we should. We don't pay enough attention to the important people around us. Just like we use minimalism to get rid of excess stuff in favor of essential things, we can use it to rid ourselves of superfluous conversations in favor of essential ones.
Consider these seven actions. Number one, make your words count. There's no need to count your words, just make sure they count. Be sure your words add value to your conversations.
It is important to be aware of what you are saying and more important, why you are saying it. Number two, expand your vocabulary. Extensive vocabulary allows us to be more precise, and precision allows us to better convey what we mean in a short span. Number three, be succinct.
Brevity is the soul of wit. Number four, avoid unnecessary conversations. Our words become sloppy when we are forced to partake in a multitude of unnecessary conversations each day. Many of these conversations can be avoided or radically attenuated.
Can you think of more than one conversation you could have avoided or shortened yesterday? What could you have done to avoid that conversation? Number five, converse more with loved ones. The people who really matter in your life, your friends, family, and loved ones deserve quality conversation from you.
By ridding yourself of unnecessary conversations, you can allocate more time to converse with your loved ones and establish deeper connections. Number six, listen more than you talk. Listening, honest, attentive listening, is not easy, and it doesn't come naturally to most. Thus, we must make an effort to listen while engaged in conversation.
Number seven, ask and listen. An easy way to be an engaged listener is to ask and listen. This allows you to actively participate in the listening process by asking interesting questions and allowing the other person to respond uninterrupted. You just listened to an excerpt from the audiobook Essential, essays by The Minimalist by Joshua Fields Milburn and Ryan Nicodemus.
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