41 | Are You Changing for Them—Or Changing for You?

In this episode, Christina unpacks the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways we change ourselves to be loved, wanted, or accepted. Are you healing and growing because you want to or are you unconsciously shifting to become more palatable for your partner?She dives into the difference between self-evolution and self-abandonment, explains the psychology behind shape-shifting in dating, and offers powerful self-check questions to help you reclaim your self-worth, authenticity, and voice in relationships. If you're tired of auditioning for love, this one’s for you.Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Introduction00:20 Meet Christina and the podcast00:31 Are you changing for you or for them00:53 Inspired by real client conversations01:11 People shrink themselves in relationships01:42 Self-growth vs self-abandonment02:15 Story of someone changing to please a partner03:05 Change rooted in validation doesn’t last03:50 The pressure to shape-shift in dating04:33 People silence themselves without being asked05:11 Acting feels heavy because it’s not real05:27 Growth feels expansive, protection feels tight06:04 Real change aligns with your values06:33 Would you stay this version if they left07:30 Childhood teaches us to adapt to be safe08:39 Dating becomes a performance for approval09:42 Validation-seeking leads to unhealthy change10:01 Real love doesn’t ask you to shrink10:45 Growth means setting boundaries and staying close to self11:34 Christina shares how healing changed her relationships12:23 Don’t shame your past self for surviving12:56 Heal your own holes to become whole13:29 Do you love yourself when you’re not performing13:44 Closing thoughts and clarity call invite