57. NOT taking care of yourself is selfish

 In this episode, I talk about why the line self-care is selfish fires me up and why NOT taking care of yourself is what’s actually selfish. I talk about why women need space to process through our natural cycles, and how the fruits of consistent self-mothering work create profound shifts in our capacity for presence and joy.

Key Points

• Why healing and somatic work takes time to integrate - our bodies are nature and change happens in seasons, not overnight
• The difference between male and female hormonal cycles and why women need longer to process and integrate change
• How years of "pulling weeds" and tending to our inner soil eventually creates beautiful blooms of presence and capacity
• Why the common thread in joyful summer moments was nature and time away from children
• The importance of being intentional about what we pay attention to through all our senses
• Why community accountability is essential - we're not meant to figure this out alone

The Integration Journey

• Understanding that a male hormonal cycle is 24 hours while a female cycle is 28 days - we have only 12 cycles per year
• How the garden analogy applies: we plant seeds, tend the soil of our nervous system, and eventually see growth
• Why expecting instant results goes against our cyclical nature as women
• The difference between having great moments with our kids and needing intentional time away from them

Mothering Ourselves First: The 10-Day Reset

• Why putting ourselves at the top of our priority list benefits everyone
• How 10 minutes a day can create an upward spiral of positive choices
• Three reasons why this timing is perfect: fresh start energy of fall, disrupted summer routines, and current world heaviness
• The power of community support in maintaining consistent self-care practices

Nervous System and Current Events

• How traumatic news can put us into freeze/shutdown mode after prolonged anxiety
• Why we can't help anyone - including our children - when we're in survival mode
• The conscious practices needed to drop our shoulders, release our jaw, and exhale deeply
• Understanding that self-care is actually the opposite of selfish

Quotes

"Not taking care of yourself is what's selfish."

"A male hormonal cycle is 24 hours. A female hormonal cycle is 28-ish days, and we have 12 of them in a year."

"The seeds that I planted many years ago... didn't grow overnight. I had to plant them and really tend to the soil and nurture them and take care of them, and now they're growing."

"If you really want to be an instrument of change, a compassionate presence for those that you love and those that you wanna help, then you must take care of yourself."

Resources Mentioned

• Mothering Ourselves First 10-Day Reset: https://theschoolofmom.com/reset 
• School of Mom community: https://theschoolofmom.com/ 
• Poem by Emory Hall (referenced but not quoted in full)
• Trevor Hall concert experience

What's Coming Next

Join the 10-day reset to experience how community accountability and just 10 minutes a day of intentional self-mothering can interrupt negative patterns and create an upward spiral of wellbeing - because taking care of yourself is the most unselfish thing you can do.

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!

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