60. "I don't have time for that."

In this episode, I share a recent reflection from my book-writing journey about the most common limiting belief we face as mothers: "I don't have time for that." After writing over 70,000 words by making time in the cracks of daily life, I've learned that time scarcity is often a story we tell ourselves rather than an absolute truth. This episode challenges you to examine what matters most to you and whether you're actually making time for it.

Key Points

The Time Scarcity Trap

• Why "I don't have time" is probably the biggest belief we carry as mothers
• Understanding that we had more spontaneity and ease before becoming moms
• How unconscious programming around how we "should" spend our time takes over
• Recognizing that self-care is usually the first thing to go when life gets chaotic

Making Time vs. Having Time

• The hard truth: It's not that you don't have time, it's that you're not making time for it
• How the book-writing process revealed this pattern in real-time
• Writing 73,000 words in the cracks: 15-minute sessions and longer chunks when possible
• Learning to trust the process rather than forcing productivity

Auditing Your Priorities

• Examining the hierarchy: kids, work, self-care, relationships
• Asking yourself if there's congruence between what matters and where your time goes
• Understanding that you don't need to spend all open hours with your children
• Sometimes having childcare just to go for a walk is enough

The Silent Retreat Example

• Going offline for a full week as a mom: the ultimate "I don't have time" scenario
• How people say "that sounds great, but I could never make that work"
• The truth: I don't have time for it either, but I make it a priority
• Quality of presence after time away is infinitely more impactful than constant physical presence

Reframing the Narrative

• Moving from "I don't have time" to "I'm not making time" changes everything
• Avoiding extreme examples to feed into time scarcity beliefs
• Getting out of all-or-nothing thinking: Can you do this in short chunks?
• Asking yourself: If I was going to make time for it right now, what would that look like?

Your Legacy Project

• Deciding what your personal version of "the book" is
• What lights you up or feels like a deep desire?
• Why are you letting everyone else's needs take priority over this?
• Understanding that no one will hand you extra hours on a golden platter

Integration Practices

• Curiously and compassionately ask yourself: Is this true? Do I not have time or am I just not making time?
• Identify what you're saying yes to that could become a no
• Notice where time scarcity shows up in your body
• Mother that scarcity belief with curiosity, compassion, and discernment
• Make a choice to actually make time for what matters to you

Quotes

"It is not that you don't have time for it, it is that you are not making time for it."

"It is the time for me to make this a priority in my life because no one is gonna hand over on a golden platter these extra hours."

"The quality of presence with my kids, because of that time away, is infinitely more impactful than not going."

"Challenge this scarcity belief in you. Tune into where you feel it in your body. Mother it in yourself."

Resources Mentioned

• The School of Mom community: https://theschoolofmom.com/
• Mothering Ourselves First Reset: https://www.motheringourselvesmindfully.com/spaces/21046517/about

What's Coming Next

Identify one thing you've been telling yourself you don't have time for. Get honest about whether it's truly a time issue or a priority issue. Then ask yourself: If I was going to make time for this thing that matters to me, what would that look like? Remember, you don't need perfect conditions or endless hours. You just need to decide it matters enough to rearrange your priorities and make some hard choices.

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!

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