74. What Moms *Really* Need to Unsubscribe From

In this episode, I get specific about the question we've been exploring in my community this week: What am I ready to unsubscribe from? I share what mothers are bravely naming - from hypervigilance and overexplaining to busyness and shame around asking for help - and invite you to explore your own readiness for change. Using the stages of change model, we dig into what "ready enough" actually means, why thinking can't unwind what lives in the body, and how to discern between what we want to unsubscribe from versus the healthy cadence we actually need. This is essential prep work for our upcoming UNSUBSCRIBE live event on January 28th.

Key Points

1. Understanding "ready enough" - why you're never 100% ready for change and that's okay
2. The stages of change model: denial, pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance/relapse
3. How to move along the readiness spectrum by examining the cost of staying the same versus the cost of changing
4. What mothers are ready to unsubscribe from: hypervigilance, overexplaining, multitasking, self-doubt, shame around asking for help, guilt around saying no, being the emotional load bearer, pressure to hurry, control, managing everything perfectly while ignoring needs, Instagram, social media, group chats, and other people's moods
5. Why you can't just "untick a box" - these patterns are embodied, not just intellectual
6. The importance of cadence and frequency - we don't want to eliminate anxiety completely, we need it at healthy intervals
7. Why we can't be in two nervous system states at once (like shutdown and play simultaneously)
8. What mothers want to subscribe to: rest, sleep, time in flow, trusting intuition, moving slowly, joyfulness with kids, travel, feeling like themselves, soup, puzzles, and the simple things
9. Why releasing the conflicting pattern is required to create space for what we desire

Quotes

"There's very few things in life that we are a hundred percent ready for."

"If you're in the awareness stage and there's some significant discomfort...the discomfort of staying the same is getting more pronounced for you. That is a good indicator that it's time to move, that you are ready, getting more ready to change."

"All of these that we wanna unsubscribe from are programs patterns that were never designed for flourishing or for thriving. These are patterns rooted in stress states and survival states in our bodies and in our nervous systems."

"Thinking can't unwind what lives in the body. Insight is not enough."

"When you're in shutdown, you can't also be in our safety state...That's where play lives, so we can't be in those two places at once."

"We cannot teach something. We cannot model something for someone else if we have not attuned to it and healed it in ourselves."

Resources Mentioned

1. UNSUBSCRIBE Live Event: January 28th in the evening - a 90-minute embodiment experience to unsubscribe from patterns at the physiological, somatic level. Register at https://theschoolofmom.com/unsubscribe
2. Stages of Change Model: Google this helpful framework from the addiction space for understanding readiness to change: https://www.elev8centers.com/blog/stages-of-change-model

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Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!

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