76: Reclaiming the Divorced Body Part 2: Training Your Body to Feel Safe Again

Quinn unpacks how the nervous system asks one question all day—Am I safe?—and why fight/flight/freeze/fawn are wise survival patterns (not personal failures). You’ll learn fast, gentle regulation tools (physiological sigh, orienting, butterfly hug, vagal “voo”/humming), see them in action via pop-culture and literature examples, and leave with a 7-day plan to widen your window of tolerance. The aim: move from bracing for impact to breathing easier—then building a calmer, safer life you actually enjoy living in. What You’ll Learn Embodiment = biology: Your body is a home to be tended, not a problem to fix (Hillary McBride). Survival patterns are smart: Fight/flight/freeze/fawn kept you safe; now we teach your body new safety. Complete the stress cycle: Don’t power through—release (Levine): breathe, shake, sigh, settle. Co-regulation matters: Calm spreads person-to-person (think Ted Lasso). Fast Practices (Try Today) Physiological sigh (20–30s): Inhale → tiny top-up inhale → long slow exhale (2–3x). Orienting (30–60s): Turn head, name 5 things you see, 4 touch, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste. Butterfly hug (60s): Cross arms, alternate taps L/R while breathing slowly. Vagal “voo” or hum (45s): Inhale, long chest-vibrating “voo” (or hum) 2–3x. Pop Culture & Lit Mirrors Inside Out 2: Anxiety tries to control everything → name it, breathe, integrate (not exile). Ted Lasso: Panic softens via breath + safe people (co-regulation). The Bear: Unfinished cycles = alarms (tight jaw, shallow breath); the body keeps score. Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God: Janie’s embodied “yes/no” as sovereignty. Mary Oliver, “Wild Geese”: “Let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” Mini Playbook for Divorced Life Text from ex detonates: 1 physiological sigh + orient; reply later from safety. First date freeze: Bathroom → butterfly hug 60s → decide from regulation. Co-parenting flare: Hand to heart + “voo” twice → This is my boundary. Lonely Saturday: 5-minute sensory walk → call a safe friend/pet time. 7-Day Nervous System Plan Morning (1 min): Physiological sigh ×3 or butterfly hug. Mid-day (30s): Orienting—name 5 things you see. Evening (2 min): Gentle shake-out + humming/“voo.” Connection (3 min): Text/call a safe friend or sit quietly with a pet. Boundary rep (one line): “I’ll need to think about that and get back to you.” Quotable “Our bodies are not problems to be solved; they are homes to be tended.” — Hillary McBride “Trauma isn’t in the event, it’s in the nervous system.” — inspired by Peter Levine “You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” — Mary Oliver Resources Mentioned Hillary McBride — The Wisdom of Your Body Peter Levine — Waking the Tiger (Somatic Experiencing) Deirdre Fay — Becoming Safely Embodied Content Note Mentions of religious conditioning, sexual coercion, panic/anxiety. Please go at the pace of safety and pause anytime. Call to Action If this helped you exhale, share it with a sister who needs a calmer nervous system and a softer Saturday night. Rate + review + subscribe so you won’t miss Part 3: Reclaiming Touch, Pleasure & Boundaries. Questions or resources? Email [email protected] PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: [email protected]