827: How to Design a Life Beyond Burnout with Life Coach Jelan Agnew

In this powerful conversation, Life Coach Jelan Agnew, LCSW shares how ICU-level burnout during 2020 became her wake-up call to design life on purpose. She walks us through the mindset shifts that took her from overachievement and overload to presence, sobriety, and self-permission—ultimately moving to Mexico and reshaping her work from one-to-one therapy into coaching, workshops, and speaking. We unpack her "empty notebook" and baseline frameworks, why perfection is just avoidance in a cute outfit, and how focusing on feelings first (not the resume or the how) opens unexpected doors. What you'll learn Baseline > Busyness: How to stop the thousand‑miles‑per‑hour train and rediscover what you actually like, need, and value now. Empty Notebook Method: Starting fresh—without old labels—to write the next chapter of your life. From Therapy to Coaching: Reframing impact: serving more people through workshops and speaking while protecting your well‑being. Feelings First: Why we chase titles/things for the feeling—and how to design from the feeling instead. Perfection = Avoidance: Giving yourself permission to be clumsy, new, and vulnerable. Sobriety & Mindfulness: Removing substances to find your emotional baseline and practicing presence to notice what truly fits. Permission Slips: The power of support (shoutout to therapy) and learning to give permission to yourself. Red‑Jeep Phenomenon: Put awareness on what you want and watch the signals appear. Conversation highlights (guide, no spoilers) Why both of us moved to Playa del Carmen—and how geography can catalyze growth Jelan's ICU wake‑up call, burnout in 2020, and choosing a different way Baseline vs. busy: stopping the train and meeting yourself in the present The guilt of leaving a long career—and reframing impact Mindfulness, sobriety, and rebuilding identity Feeling over formulas: designing for joy, freedom, safety, and community Perfection as avoidance; being willing to be "clumsy on purpose" Self‑permission and the role of a great therapist in big moves Memorable quotes "I can help people, and it doesn't have to be at the expense of myself." — Jelan Agnew "Perfection is avoidance." — Jelan Agnew "You have the option to make a choice before you get sat down." — Jelan Agnew "Create the version of me that does that." — Jelan Agnew "The how is none of your business." — Jelan Agnew Try this: Listener challenge Grab an empty notebook (or open Notes) and complete these: I want to feel… (one sentence) Where do I already feel that today? (list 2–3 moments) What micro‑ritual amplifies it this week? (one action—breath, rest, or presence) Bonus: For the next 7 days, put your awareness on this desire (hello, red‑Jeep effect) and notice what people, ideas, or invitations show up. Resources & mentions Click here for Jelan's TED Talk (on mental health in the Black community) Book: The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron Book: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield (We'll add direct links on the episode page.) Connect with Jelan Website: https://www.nalejofselfllc.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nalejofself Connect with Elayne Instagram: @elaynefluker LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elaynefluker/   Website: elaynefluker.com Spread the support If this episode resonated, share it with the ambitious friend who needs permission to rest and rise. Rate/review the show to help more women leaders find us.