9. Going Inside Project - Helen

Today we meet Helen. She has some experience of working her own system and the inner world of her Parts. Please note my mic was playing up, but there is so much value here the episode has been shared! WHO SHOWED UP… A lot of Parts showed up in session today. I’ve listed those I identified as they all have a role in Helen’s relationship with food and her body. A Part who is curious about food trends and researching science A Part who wants to fit in to the new area A Part who has become more aware of the body who is concerned about rejection and wants to be accepted A Part that wants to be seen as strong, in control, powerful and sorted A Part who doesn’t want to stop eating at night as it fears feeling loss or loneliness A Part who feels shame in response to the eating A Part that wants to make sense of the eating A Part who wants to prepare a meal and eat what’s needed A Part who believes Helen can ‘get away with it’ so she should just eat A Part who eats more when Helen starts to feel good about her body (can be permission or punishment) A Part that believes Helen is allowed to consistently act in a way that is aligned with her goals A Part who believes because Helen’s Dad suffered, she’s not allowed things (to feel good, to meet her goals A Part who fears that if Helen isn’t fragile she won’t get her needs met A Part who feels fear and shame in response to the Parts who punish and sabotage A Part who fears abandonment A Part who fears connection A Part who is fearful of strong, powerful and okay A Part that believes Helen doesn’t need to fight with her body (this is not her fight, its been passed down) A Part who knows that Helen can trust her body A Part that doesn’t acknowledge or celebrate grown up decisions. Key dynamic we worked with later in session: A Hypervigilant Part who looks for the hole in everything A Part that is ferocious and strong that needs/ wants the fight, that takes the hard route A Young Part who carries feelings of abandonment, loss and aloneness. WHAT I NOTICED… I was struck by the pace at which Helen moved through her system. At times I had a Part who felt I should be able to keep up. I also had another Part who wanted to trust Helen’s system as she was making connection after connection. It was tricky to manage this internal conflict at the same time as keeping pace with her Parts. WHAT I’D DO DIFFERENTLY… As Helen’s younger Part began to release what she was holding, her system moved focus to another Part and it’s process. Although I returned to her younger Part to check-in, I wondered if this was enough. To my knowledge we are unable to process two different things simultaneously so I suspect Helen system just moves so fast that the unburdening happened within a matter of seconds. If I was to work with Helen again, I would invite some opportunities to pause. Firstly, to create space to check for the level of Self Energy available in her system and also to create space for me, so I could attend to my own Parts. www.celiaclark.online *****DISCLAIMER***** The sessions shared in the Going Inside Project podcast are for informational and educational purposes only. They are not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment and do not constitute a provider-patient relationship. The sessions may, at times, reference sensitive topics including but not limited to disordered eating, eating disorders and relational trauma. You are advised to refrain from listening if you are likely to be triggered or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Neither Celia Clark Online Ltd, associates nor guests, shall at any time be liable for the content covered causing offense, distress or any other reaction. No portion of the podcast may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means - electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise without the written permission of Celia Clark Online. Copyright 2023 Celia Clark Online. All Rights Reserved.