99: Being a Gray Man: What it is, Why it Matters

Have you heard about the concept of being a gray man? As originally explained to me, “being a gray man” was for a SHTF situation. A gray man is the prepper who doesn’t go around telling everyone how much ammo and food they have stored. It’s the person who has the gear and knows how to use it, but they don’t go out dressed like Mr. (Or Ms.) Tacticool. Being a gray man is about blending into your surroundings. It’s basically, I am confident that I know my stuff, but I’m not going to flaunt that I know my stuff, because in a SHTF situation, that could make me a target. Listen to the podcast by pressing the play button on the black bar above. All episodes are linked under the podcast tab that you can find way at the top of this post in my menu bar.  You can also listen and subscribe to my Farmish Kind of Life podcast at iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, PlayerFM, and other popular podcast players.  The concept of being a gray man certainly applies to homesteading and prepping; but I’m starting to think it can apply to some of the other stuff going on in the world today—socially and politically. I hope this is something you will do a little thinking about and perhaps apply it to your life as we head into the second half of 2020. The way I see it, America is sitting on a powder keg right now. And I think we have to have a conversation about the fact that your right to say what you think about what you’re doing or where you stand on some issue doesn't need to be some ego fueled messy tirade that’s gonna get you in trouble. Let’s say that as a homesteader/prepper, you have a certain amount of water, food, ammo, and seeds stored. And let’s say that you talk about those things as a way to teach people and help them be better prepared. That’s one thing. But talking about those things as a way to prove yourself as worthy or better prepared or look at how great I am is totally and completely different. Consider your approach I’m in a weird spot as a voice in the homesteading community (and various other communities) because I do want to teach people and I do want people to feel open to discuss things in those communities. But I also feel like I have to be careful about what I say, especially when I’m not in those communities. I’m glad to live in a place where I can speak up and say what I think. But some of us need a reminder that speaking up for what you believe in doesn’t mean you have to be an obnoxious jerk. Some people need a reminder that their method of speaking up and their reason for doing so might make them an obnoxious jerk. And outspoken obnoxious jerks can be targets. When you get down to it, the gray ones are the well prepared, but quiet ones. They’re feisty, but you might not know it. They’re ready to act when needed, but they don’t get involved with the circus. In other words, don’t just jump on the bandwagon and get angry. It means keep your ego in check. It doesn’t mean just sit back and let things happen. It means pay attention and get involved at the right time. I’ve always liked the concept of “it’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for.” What does this look like? A couple days ago, I was working in my cute little zen herb garden, and I appeared to be a pretty quiet little farmgirl. But in my ears, I was listening to a pretty harsh, straight to the point, no BS book about using violence as a tool in self-defense against asocial behavior. Sweet little farmgirl, y’all. Watch out for the quiet ones. Grab your "be careful of the quiet ones" shirt at https://www.bonfire.com/silent-majority-1/ When I talk to people about gray man stuff, I find there can be a lot of ego involved. And ego is such a gross word, right? Nobody wants to admit they do anything because of ego. But a common response to gray man tactics is “but it’s my right to…” or “I’m proud of what I’ve created here (or what I believe) and people need to know where I stand…” Okay. I get it. But.