Brought to you by Y Refi, Refi, Refi, Refi, your defaulted private student loans today at Yrefi.com slash Ramsey. All right, today's question comes from Carl in Georgia. He says, I'm very disappointed with what you advise regarding combining all funds together when married. What about when you've been married less than two years and the couple gets married later in life?
My wife showed me your video and says, she wants her name added to everything I have. Do you think I'm supposed to put her name on everything I had before marriage? And then she gets half of that if we divorce? This caused a major problem and she has moved out.
No man on earth would give everything he had before marriage in his wife's name. Please explain yourself. I love this question so much from Carl. Listen, Carl, I'm gonna have to take a quick breather because Carl, it's making me mad.
I just love that Carl in the question blaming us for the dissolution of his marriage. He's very telling about how Carl acts in his normal everyday life. Carl, I'm gonna tell you, just because something is your second marriage doesn't mean it should be no, it's a marriage is still built on the same things, a good marriage is still built on the same things. It's still trust, right?
There's still those levels that need to be there. So clearly, even in your second marriage, there's something about this woman that I don't feel like I can trust her because you're not willing to share your finances whether you're not willing to put your name on your assets and you're already anticipating a divorce because you're saying, well, what will happen when we divorce? And I don't know about you, but I don't feel warm and cushy going into a relationship like that. Now, don't get me wrong, there are some things that we can plan for.
Let's say he had millions and millions of dollars, second marriage, he's got children and the person he's marrying has nothing. There are some caveats in there and some nuance that can be discussed, but it just sounds like you guys are just kind of like two folks, like two regular folks, like me or George. And it sounds like Carl was already on thin ice and then she saw this video and went, hey, here's what these Ramsey people said and that sort of exposed the deeper issues of the marriage. And he didn't like that.
If she said, hey, I want to combine everything and that made you mad, you must have given her the smoke for her to just up and move out is what I'm saying. So you already were feeling some type of way about this whole idea. So the problem my friend is not with George or I, the problem was you sign up. Man in the mirror.
The problem is the man in the mirror. I know that's right. Here's why the if I buy a house the day before I get married and then I go, hey, Whitney, not putting your name on this house, but you better pay half the rent, half the mortgage. Also, you're not getting any equity in this house and I owned it before you married.
Oh, Lord. Oh, gosh, that's a recipe for a beatdown. I'll be lucky to sleep on the couch in my own house. I know that's right.
It's just that attitude crushes relationships. Crushes marriages. Yeah, there's zero trust there. And it's kind of like the opposite, here we quote Ziglar, if you aim at nothing, you hit it every time.
It's almost the opposite. If you're aiming at something to dissolve or possibly divorce, it's like, then that's likely what's gonna happen because you've put that out there. And it's almost like you've created a target of when we divorce, when we go our separate ways. And there's no way that you can avoid that.
I mean, I don't know about you, George. I was married, the advice I got was, you never even need to say the word divorce. Like you just need to, don't even put it in there and just act like every problem is a problem that can be solved. And I mean, we know there's limits here, but do you see what I'm saying?
Here's the funny thing. If you live your life and live your marriage with the gloves up in front of your face, eventually you're gonna be in a boxing match. 100. Love that, George.
That's how it works. But when you live your life hands wide open, hey, there's no ring here. We're all in this together. We're on the same team.
Amazing things happen. You build wealth exponentially together. And that's what my wife and I have done from day one. We had one joint checking account, one joint savings account, her name's on everything.
And this is harder to do later in life when you've lived independently and you go, wait a minute, I earn and whatever she earns, she can do that what she wants. What happens when she stays at home? Well, then I guess I'll give her an allowance. Okay, so you're gonna treat your wife like a child and hope this marriage is successful.
Good luck with that, bro. Good luck with that. That's what we've seen happen in reality. So Carl, I'm sorry that I really hate this is happening.
I hope there's hope for this marriage. But do not blame us because the problems were exposed in your marriage. Yeah, he said no man on earth would give everything he had before marriage in a wife's name. I don't listen.
I think you've created a category unto yourself, Carl.