Amanda Luterman on Erotic Empathy (#40)

2:09 - how do people respond when Amanda introduces herself at a networking event.3:52 - scared of talking about sex.5:06 - how Amanda's journey into erotic empathy started.6:43 - what is erotic empathy.7:47 - we push our partner away because of the way we feel about ourselves.8:57 - not being judgemental about your partner's sexual preferences.11:08 - is it usually females who are more likely to find themselves unattractive?12:52 - how to open up with your partner about your sexual preferences.16:01 - asking your partner: what were you fantasizing about during sex?16:16 - power dynamics are a common sexual fantasy.16:47 - example of initiating sex with a power dynamic.18:54 - the way people engage in partnered sex contradicts the way people masturbate.21:57 - lessening the pressure and expectations in sex.24:30 - how important is sex in a romantic relationship.25:57 - your marriage isn't over just because you develop feelings for someone else.27:06 - the pressure men feel during sex.29:50 - a lover is not responsible for both people's pleasure.30:35 - being good at sex is not about technique.32:18 - religious or moral constraints on sex.34:36 - therapy can help couples communicate their sexual needs and expectations more safely.35:32 - how to get better at talking to your partner about sex.38:12 - what do women want? what do men want?40:22 - power switching and taboo fantasies are super arousing.41:44 - is there hope if you are no longer attracted to each other?46:42 - marriage is a promise to look after yourself for the other person.48:21 - what if I'm not into the same things that turn on my partner?51:48 - can sharing fantasies of sleeping with other people go too far?53:52 - controlling your emotions so your partner can share their sexual preferences openly with you.54:51 - sex is about communication and emotion regulation skills.55:34 - the paradox of building confidence in your sexuality.57:01 - how important is sexual compatibility when choosing a partner.59:38 - why is sex important for your relationship and your health.1:02:02 - connect with Amanda. You can find more detailed show notes with links to references at https://candourpodcast.com/amanda-luterman/