Are You Placing Happiness in the Future and Wishing Time Away?

Have you ever noticed that when you get close to the end of something hard, you wish you were at the finish line? I notice this feeling the most in a mountain bike race. It doesn't matter how long the event is, but when I'm 70% done (or sometimes even before), I start dreaming of the finish line. It also happens during a workout or a project.  We start anticipating being done and then wish to be at the finish line.  I admit I've even done this looking at how long it'll be before my son's nap, wishing the time away so I can have a break.  Why do we try to speed up time? Most of the time, we worked hard to even get to the start line, and then we catch ourselves wishing the time away.   I don't have all the answers, but there are my thoughts.  I think that sometimes we wish time away because we are bored, uncomfortable, or thought things would be different.  The thing I've learned through racing that applies everywhere else in my life is that the uncomfortable moments never last. The patience of wading through them and catching the next wave teaches us that we are resilient. It doesn't mean you have to enjoy the discomfort, boredom, (insert how you feel and why you might be wishing it away).  I used to wish time away, even when I was winning a race because I felt like I had everything to lose and felt vulnerable. How can we savor more moments in life, even when we find ourselves wishing it away? The awareness that you are  trying to rush time or wish time away is a good place to start Ask yourself why you might be wishing time away.  When I catch myself wishing time to pass with my son until naptime, it's because I want a break. When I wish time away at a race, it's because I either feel vulnerable to something bad happening, I'm bored, or things aren't going my way and I just want them to be over.  What insight can you get from noticing you are wishing time away? Ask yourself how you can savor the moment. What joy can you find, if any? How can being present and not wishing it away serve you later? Remind yourself “this is what I came for.”  When you do an interval workout and you are suffering and just want it to be over, that discomfort is actually what you came for because it's how you improve.  If you are out doing a sport or at the gym, this is what you came for. If you're a parent, raising children is what you came for.  It doesn't necessarily make it easy, but a simple mindset shift maybe makes you realize that it isn't going to be perfect or feel good all the time.  It shifts you from avoiding discomfort and into a mindset of accepting the discomfort as normal, but also impermanent. Another note is that we often look back fondly, even on hard times. I hear people say some of their favorite times in their lives were when their kids were little or some of when they were in the thick of the hardest (voluntary) challenges they've done. We look back fondly at these moments, but sometimes when we are in them, we want to speed up time because we wish things were easier. Savoring the challenges and knowing that later this will also be a moment or moments that you will fondly reminisice is powerful. How will the "future you" feel if you savored the moment? There is wisdom in discomfort as long as you aren't damaging yourself. There is a texture of acceptance for what is when you try to savor instead of wish it away. “Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” -Nathanial Hawthorne --------------The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.