Asking for Help Without Losing Your Mind

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In this episode...

Asking for Help Without Losing Your Mind

https://faithfulontheclock.com/asking-for-help-without-losing-your-mind

One of the big pieces of advice getting thrown around in the corporate world is to not be afraid to ask for help. But what if you ask and all you get is crickets? Episode 63 of Faithful on the Clock shows you how to improve your ask to up the odds that people will respond and support you.

Timestamps:

[00:05] - Intro

[00:35] - Story about my husband’s work situation

[01:29] - It’s common for people to have situations where they need to ask for help. Scriptures such as the story of Moses and Amalek in Exodus 17:8-16 show we’re supposed to both give and receive help.

[03:37] - Ask Tip #1: Evaluate the people you are asking. Many people go to people they think of as ideal without considering whether that person is really available.

[04:44] - Ask Tip #2: Take a look at the ask itself. You need to provide a specific pathway people should follow within the ask.

[06:28] - Ask Tip #3: Put your ask in the context of the return for the other person. Make it clear that you are proposing a reciprocal arrangement where they also get one or more benefits.

[07:45] - Ask Tip #4: Make sure you are following up. Don’t let fear of being a pest, imposter syndrome, or other issues stop you from politely reaching out a few times when you haven’t heard back. Don’t automatically assume that a little silence is a no, because often people are just busy or get distracted.

[08:32] - Recap of four main ask tips

[08:59] - Scriptures such as 1 John 5:14-15 often are misinterpreted to mean that if you go to God with an ask, God will give you whatever you ask for. These verses actually are meant to show that God is approachable, not that He can’t or won’t say no. He will say no if it is best for you, so go to God but respect His plans and authority.

Key takeaways:

• A lot of people are in situations where they legitimately need to ask for help. Scriptures such as the story of Moses against Amalek encourage us to be helpers and to accept help when it is necessary.
• The first tip for improving your ask is to reevaluate the people you’re asking. Some people try to choose their ideal person, but that ideal person doesn’t have the bandwidth to really be supportive. So be willing to find the person that God knows is best, rather than just giving up after your first choice fails.
• The second tip for improving your ask is to take a look at the ask itself. Make sure you are specific enough in the ask in explaining a clear pathway. People need to know exactly how to move forward in helping you or they can hesitate or ghost you.
• The third asking tip is to put your ask in the context of the return for the other person. Make it clear what they are going to get back so they see the value in supporting you and know you are not just self-centered.
• The final piece of advice for making your ask better is to follow up. People can back off too early because they don’t want to be a pest or worry that they’re being too pushy. They assume silence is a no and let the ball drop. Keep checking in a few times before you quit.
• People still can turn you down even if you do everything right. But you can go to God with your asks, too. God might not give you everything you ask for, either, but you can have confidence that you have permission to approach Him and that He’ll always be beside you with your best interests in mind.

CTAs:

• Think about a previous time in your life when you needed help but didn’t ask for it. Identify what held you back and consider the specific actions you needed from others.
• Find one thing that you genuinely need help with right now that you’ve been afraid to seek support for. Identify at least three people who might be able to help you. Then develop the specific actions you’d like them to take for you, as well as what you can offer back. Go make your ask!

What’s coming up next:

Interviewing is nerve-wracking for most people, in part because interviewers toss out some questions that stink. Episode 64 of Faithful on the Clock identifies a handful of the most difficult interview questions, highlighting why they’re challenging and how to master your answers.

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