Avoiding Mass Hysteria - Taking Young Children to Mass

A Facebook post from a mom struggling to bring her large family of small children to Mass inspired today's show. The mom was in a jam, getting the kids to Mass by herself as her husband was deployed. Many advised her not to bring the children to Mass until they were older. This is terrible advice. Mass is not optional. It isn't easy when you bring many babies and toddlers, and in fact, it's heroic. Ginny and Mary Ellen can help and want to share their hard-earned, practical advice learned in the pews of thousands of masses with many toddlers in tow. Listen and enjoy their love, humor, and common sense. Ten Tips on Taking Young Children to Mass 1.   Make your peace with the fact that this will go off the rails sometimes. God put the wiggle and the noise in those children, and He knows they will use them both at Mass. Remember that not every fellow parishioner will be patient. Expect a few dirty looks; don't let it get you down.  2.   Prep the night before. Lay out everyone's clothes, find the shoes and socks, set breakfast, and pack the diaper bag. 3.   Everyone goes to the bathroom before you leave for Mass. 4.   Sit up front and quietly whisper to point out the priest, the candles, and the bells.  5.   Do not bring toys. Having toys at hand is a reason to fight, make noise, and be a general distraction for everyone around you. A soft book for 4-5-year-olds is fine. 6.   No food or drink for anyone over three. Nursing babies and small toddlers get a bottle or cup, but everyone else can go an hour without food. Feed everyone before Mass; small children are not required to fast. A bag of dry cereal for desperate times, but it should be the exception. 7.   No devices, ever. 8.   Keep the three and under people on someone's lap as much as possible. 9.   If the baby or toddler makes some noise or moves around too much, don't let it make you self-conscious. Most people can focus through a distraction and are very tolerant of small children. Just take it in stride. 10. If the noise becomes too much, take the child out and settle them quickly but bring them back in so the habit of poor behavior getting them out doesn't take hold. Just wait against a wall until you can get back to your pew. This is a biggie! You do not want to form a bad habit. Act up– go to the vestibule and run around. Again, people understand. If possible, sit near someone you know as sympathetic. I've helped more than once, letting a kid play with my fur collar and holding a sleeping baby so Mom could go to Communion. Especially with one year old, there is little you can do. DH and I went to different Masses at times. Once you are sure kids understand how they should behave, a consequence for bad behavior is in order. Perhaps while everyone else is enjoying an after-Mass bagel, Junior has to "practice" church behavior by sitting on a chair in the middle of the living room. Consider adding a decade or the whole rosary as reinforcement. As my kids got older, we discussed the gospel, the homily, or even the music on the way home. It encouraged them to pay attention. The cry room is an option I did not use. I tried it once with a baby, but eight-year-olds played with cars on the floor. Kids are paying zero attention. I noticed the cry room where my daughter lives is very different—just some back pews glasses in, so a better deal.  Again – you do not want to form bad habits.