Coaching Habit - Part 3: The Surprising Impact of Asking "And What Else?"

Welcome to Confessions of a Facilitation Artist, where we delve into the art of effective communication and coaching. Today, we're continuing our exploration of The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier, focusing on the second question in his coaching framework: the AWE question, which stands for And What Else?The Importance of the AWE QuestionThe AWE question is deceptively simple yet incredibly effective. It serves as a powerful tool in our coaching arsenal, helping us open up possibilities and encourage deeper thinking. By asking "and what else?" we empower the person we're coaching to explore more options and insights, preventing us from jumping into solutions prematurely.How to Use the AWE Question* Curiosity and Space: This question is about creating space for curiosity and exploration. It helps maintain focus in the conversation, uncover deeper insights, and avoid binary thinking. By asking "and what else?" you're not only helping the person you're coaching but also yourself to stay focused and avoid the tendency to offer advice too quickly.* Preventing the Advice Trap: The AWE question is crucial for avoiding the tendency to offer advice too quickly. It allows the person being coached to find their own solutions, fostering self-awareness and wisdom. This is particularly important because when we jump into solutions, we often miss the opportunity to help the person develop their own problem-solving skills.* Experimentation: Try asking "and what else?" three to four times in a conversation. This helps generate enough topics and prevents you from rushing into solutions. It also encourages embracing silence for reflection, both for you and the person you're coaching. This practice helps you stay curious and ensures that you're not missing any important details.Practical ApplicationsIn real-world scenarios, the AWE question can be incredibly useful. For instance, during meetings, when someone immediately dives into details, you can pause and ask, "Is there anything else that we might want to discuss today?" This helps slow down the conversation and ensures that all relevant topics are covered before diving into specifics.Overcoming Challenges and Personal ReflectionsIn my recent experience, I found myself struggling to implement the AWE question effectively. During a particularly challenging week, my youngest son was sick, and despite having help, I was distracted and not fully present in my coaching conversations. This led to me falling into old habits, such as immediately trying to solve problems instead of allowing the person to explore their own solutions. I noticed that I was disguising solutions as questions, which is a common mistake. For example, instead of genuinely asking "and what else?" I would say, "Have you thought about trying this?" Recognizing this pattern was crucial for me to revisit and improve my approach.To combat this, I've created a simple checklist with "and what else?" written on it to remind me to stay curious and avoid the advice trap. I encourage you to do the same. Experiment with asking "and what else?" multiple times in a conversation to generate more topics and prevent premature solutions. Remember, it's okay to feel uncomfortable asking this question more than once, but it's essential for creating a deeper and more meaningful conversation.Key Takeaways* Be Present and Curious: Ensure you are fully present in the conversation and genuinely curious about the other person's thoughts. This is essential for creating a safe space where they feel encouraged to explore their ideas.* Avoid Disguising Solutions as Questions: If you have a solution, offer it as a statement after the person has had a chance to explore their own ideas. This helps maintain the integrity of the coaching process and ensures that the person being coached is actively engaged in finding their own solutions.* Practice Patience: Allow time for reflection and embrace the silence that follows the AWE question. This silence is not just a pause; it's an opportunity for both parties to reflect and gather their thoughts before proceeding.Conclusion…YES…AND…Coaching is a journey, not a destination. It's about progress over perfection. Remember to be gentle with yourself as you learn and grow. Experiment with the AWE question in your conversations this week and notice how it changes the dynamics and depth of your interactions. As you continue on this journey, remember that the goal is not to reach a specific endpoint but to enjoy the process of learning and growing together.Whenever you're ready, I can help you with:* Workshop design and facilitation* Facilitation and workshop training* Intention setting, planning, and incremental progress for success Get full access to Confessions of a Creative Leader at creativeleaderconfessions.substack.com/subscribe