Coaching Habit - Part 7: What Are You Saying No To?

Welcome to my ongoing book club-style exploration of The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay-Stanier! We're currently diving into the sixth of seven powerful questions that can transform your approach to coaching and leadership. Today, I’m excited to explore the Strategic Question: "If you're saying YES to this, what are you saying NO to?" This question has been a game-changer for me, especially as a recovering people pleaser who's learned the importance of saying no to things that don't serve me.As I reflect on my journey, I recall how challenging it is to say no. But over the years, I've come to realize that saying no is not just about setting boundaries; it's also about prioritizing what truly matters. In my role as a product manager, saying no is a crucial part of the job. I've seen firsthand how this question can help teams clarify priorities and make strategic decisions. For instance, I recently worked with a product team to reset their strategy. Their initial goal was overly broad, trying to target multiple segments without making strategic choices about what to say no to. By applying the Strategic Question, we were able to redefine their long-term goals and focus on what truly mattered.Why the Strategic Question MattersThe Strategic Question is essential because it forces individuals to consider the trade-offs of their decisions. By asking what you are saying no to when you say yes to something, you are compelled to think about the opportunity costs and the consequences of your choices. This process improves time management by highlighting what must be sacrificed to pursue a particular goal or project. It also reduces overcommitment by ensuring that you are not taking on more than you can handle, which is vital for maintaining a balanced workload and reducing stress.What the Strategic Question DoesThe Strategic Question has several key benefits that make it a powerful tool for effective decision-making and time management. Here are some of the ways it impacts your approach:* Clarifies Priorities: It helps individuals focus on what truly matters by considering what they must give up.* Enhances Time Management: By understanding the opportunity costs, you can allocate time more effectively.* Improves Decision-Making: It encourages thoughtful consideration of choices and their long-term impacts.* Reduces Overcommitment: Prevents taking on too much by highlighting what must be sacrificed.* Aligns Actions with Goals: Ensures that choices support overall objectives and strategies.How to Use the Strategic QuestionThe Strategic Question is straightforward: "If you're saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?" Variations include:* "What will you have to give up to do this?"* "What's the opportunity cost of this decision?"* "What else will be impacted if you focus on this?"Tips for Effective Use:* Apply to Significant Decisions: Use this question for major commitments or projects.* Encourage Reflection: Allow time for the person to think through the implications.* Explore Alternatives: Discuss other options that might be foregone.* Consider Long-Term Impacts: Think about both immediate and future consequences.Real-Life Applications: Where the Strategic Question ShinesRecently I helped someone named Nina (not her real name) manage her expectations with a peer. By asking what she would say no to if she said yes to certain commitments, Nina realized she needed to set boundaries and prioritize her focus time. This helped her improve her relationship with the peer by being more intentional about her commitments. Nina's biggest takeaway was the importance of practicing saying no to aspects of her job that didn't align with her core responsibilities.Why It's StrategicThis question is strategic because it aligns actions with overall goals and priorities, promotes long-term thinking over short-term gains, and encourages a comprehensive decision-making process. By incorporating the Strategic Question into coaching and leadership, managers can help team members make informed decisions, prioritize effectively, and achieve a better balance in their work and personal lives.In conclusion, the Strategic Question is a powerful tool that can transform how you approach decision-making and time management. By regularly asking yourself what you are saying no to when you say yes to something, you can ensure that your choices align with your goals, reduce overcommitment, and enhance your overall productivity and well-being. Get full access to Confessions of a Creative Leader at creativeleaderconfessions.substack.com/subscribe