Conflict Resolution

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are happy to be with you today. We are Jim and Kim Nestle with Clear View Retreat. More than twenty years ago, God sparked a vision in our minds for family unity. As the years rolled by, Clear View Retreat was born to help families learn to draw closer to one another within the family unit and within their biblical community. But, since we are not all the same, responding as robots, having the same likes and dislikes, and since we live in a sinful, fallen world and where we often let the weight of our circumstances control our behavior, conflict sometimes happens. How does your family or biblical community handle conflict when it occurs?Let me share a wonderful example of Christian reconciliation. Some background first… One woman had been helping out with a group of kids, and one kiddo had required more direction and redirection than most of the others in the group. At the end of an especially stressful day, she was again overseeing this group of kiddos. The child behaved as children do, but nothing over-the-top or defiant, but because of the woman’s legitimately bad day, she - in one quick statement - fussed at the kiddo more harshly than she should have. A family member of the child was present.Fast forward to the end of the event, the family member sought out the stressed woman, and kindly shared that in that frustrated moment she had been angry for her family member because the reprimand happened in a moment when it was not deserved. But, that she knew the stressed woman did not mean harm and that she also saw how the stressed woman immediately regretted her words and changed her own attitude. The two women took time for complete honesty and transparency and they not only got to a place of reconciliation but also greater connection. Why do I know this story? Because I was present for the frustrated comment, and after the two women spoke, the stressed lady came over to apologize to everyone who had witnessed her frustration with the child. Why? She wanted to accept full responsibility for her actions. She was sorrowful and repentant.Biblical communities need to be able to speak openly about hurts and frustrations. The reason the story Kim shared is compelling is because of how well it represented how God tells us to address conflict within our relationships.Here are five of the many verses we need to pour over and commit to memory in order to have deeper, more abiding relationships:Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.Matthew 5:23-24 “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”Hebrews 12:14 “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.”Philippians 2:4 “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”You know, it’s like we have always told our children, please come to us when you mess up. Will we be mad? Possibly. Will we react badly for a brief moment? Maybe. But, we are always open and want to help our kids strategize how to fix their own messes or to help them get the help they need.Grace, mercy, and forgiveness were not free. Christ paid the ultimate price for our reconciliation with the Lord. Grace, mercy, and forgiveness are not easy in our human relationships, but if we keep in mind the price Jesus paid and the options we have for abundant living now on earth as well as for eternity with the Father, we need to practice God’s reconciliation plan. Be blessed!