🌱 Creating a Life After Child Loss: Melissa Hull’s Journey from Grief to Growth

Life after child loss can seem impossible. But, Melissa Hull found a way.“Love will always outlast life.” – Melissa HullWhen Melissa Hull lost her 4½-year-old son Drew in a tragic drowning accident, she wasn’t sure she wanted to keep living. The grief was suffocating. The guilt, unbearable. But what emerged over the next 25 years was a powerful evolution—one rooted not in “moving on,” but in bringing Drew with her.In this deeply moving episode of Grief to Growth, I had the honor of speaking with Melissa on the very day her book launched: Dear Drew: Creating a Life Bigger Than Grief. Her story isn’t just about surviving child loss. It’s about creating a new kind of life—one that holds both sorrow and joy, brokenness and beauty, despair and divine connection.This is Melissa’s story. But if you’ve ever lost someone you love, it might feel like yours too.💔 A Mother’s Worst DayMelissa’s story begins with a quiet, ordinary morning—until everything changed.It was 4:55 AM. Exhausted from tending to her younger son’s asthma through the night, Melissa had just settled Drew in with his favorite breakfast—beef ravioli—and a Thomas the Tank Engine video. He was bright, joyful, and full of energy, just as he was every morning.But that morning would be different. Melissa went to attend to Drew’s younger brother and fell asleep.Moments later, she awoke to a silent house. Drew was gone.She searched frantically. First, the house. Then the yard. Then the canal.And there, just 200 yards from her home, she found his tiny footprints... and her dogs’ wet paw prints leading toward a large irrigation canal.Within hours, authorities confirmed what she already feared: Drew had drowned.That moment split Melissa’s life into two halves—before and after.🚫 The Myth of “Moving On”Like so many bereaved parents, Melissa was immediately met with well-intentioned but harmful clichés:“He’s in a better place.”“It was God’s plan.”“You need to move on.”Those words didn’t help. In fact, they hurt.“It pissed me off,” Melissa says plainly. “It made me feel like my grief wasn’t welcome. That I should hurry up and be done.”But she knew in her soul that leaving Drew behind was never going to be part of her story. Instead, she made a radical decision:“I’m doing this my way.”🔄 Grieving On Her Own TermsMelissa’s path was not traditional. She didn’t follow a set of “stages.” She followed her heart.She explored every possible healing modality—both scientific and spiritual:* She studied Reiki and became a certified Reiki Master.* She traveled to Sedona in search of energy vortexes and clarity.* She consulted with mediums and psychics.* She read books like The Alchemist and The Fifth Mountain.This wasn’t a quest to escape grief—it was a quest to understand it, and to integrate it into her new life.“I wasn’t looking to ‘get over’ my son. I was looking for ways to keep him with me, to build a life where he was still part of the story.”✍️ Writing as a LifelineIn the early days, Melissa found it difficult to express her grief in words, so she turned to art.She painted, using color and chaos to express what she couldn’t say.Then came the writing.Melissa wrote a letter to Drew every single day for a year. She called it her “year of magical thinking.”She imagined Drew as Peter Pan—forever young, off on adventures in a realm where he couldn’t send postcards, but where she could still write to him.These letters were sacred. They were her bridge between despair and connection. Between isolation and remembrance.💌 A Letter That Saved Her LifeBut one letter—written to Melissa—would change everything.A stranger named Teresa, a mother who had lost her daughter, wrote Melissa a handwritten letter after hearing her story.Teresa’s words were not filled with platitudes. They were filled with truth.She acknowledged the guilt.The shame.The crushing weight of self-blame.And then, she offered this:“Joy and beauty can coexist alongside this pain—but you will have to choose to find it, and you will have to choose it every single day.”That letter became Melissa’s lifeline.It was the proof she needed that someone had walked this road... and survived.🙏 Finding Purpose Through ServiceMelissa didn’t stop at healing herself. She wanted to help others avoid the pain she endured.She launched a water safety campaign for young children—especially in her own community, where miles of irrigation canals go unguarded.She visited preschools.She educated parents.She taught children how to recognize danger and stay safe.“Every time I spoke to a child, I saw Drew’s face in their eyes,” she said. “It became my mission.”And it worked.Years later, those same children—now adults—still come up to Melissa and tell her they never forgot what she taught them.Through service, Drew’s legacy lives on.🌻 Daily Rituals That Keep Drew CloseOne of the most common fears for grieving parents is the thought: “What if I forget them?”Melissa felt that too.So she created daily rituals to keep Drew close:* Talking to him in the garden* Planting sunflowers (his favorite)* Watching hummingbirds and thinking of his energy* Keeping his photos visible and present* Wearing reminders of him daily“I never stopped talking to Drew,” she says. “To this day, 25 years later, I talk to him. I tell him what I’m doing. He is part of everything I do.”💖 A New Relationship with GriefToday, Melissa says her grief has changed.It’s no longer an anchor.It’s a teacher.A sacred reminder of how deeply she loved.“Grief is not a problem to be solved,” she told me. “It’s the shadow side of love’s brilliance. It’s a call from the soul to hold onto the love that remains.”Her grief isn’t gone. But it’s softened. It’s integrated. And it now shares space with gratitude, joy, and even laughter.📘 Dear Drew: A Letter to All of UsMelissa’s new book, Dear Drew: Creating a Life Bigger Than Grief, is the culmination of everything she’s learned.It’s more than a memoir.It’s a lifeline for someone who, like her, is struggling to keep going.“I wrote this book to be someone else’s Teresa,” she says. “To be that letter that saves someone’s life.”It’s for anyone who has felt:* Abandoned by their faith* Trapped by guilt* Paralyzed by “what if”* Unsure if they can survive another dayIf you’re reading this, and any of that sounds like you—Melissa wrote this for you.🌱 You Can Create a Life After Child LossYou don’t have to “move on.”You don’t have to pretend it didn’t happen.You can cry. You can scream. You can fall apart.But then—when you’re ready—you can begin again.Not by erasing the past, but by building something with it.“Even though their lives may not have continued, their love and presence can,” Melissa says. “I’m living proof that we can create a life bigger than grief.”💬 Join the ConversationIf Melissa’s story touched you, you’re not alone. Let’s keep this space open for healing.🌻 Comment below: What part of Melissa’s journey resonated with you most?📬 Subscribe for more stories like this: https://grieftogrowth.substack.com📘 Get Melissa’s book: https://melissahull.com🔁 Share this post with someone who is grieving and needs hope.💡 Final ThoughtGrief doesn’t mean your life is over. In Melissa’s words:“Mess can still become masterpiece.”So water the seeds. Feel the pain. Tell your story.And trust that—just like Melissa—you too can create a life after child loss. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit grief2growth.substack.com/subscribe This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit grief2growth.substack.com/subscribe