Dating - Relating Principles

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Last week, we launched into a deep subject that many people hold extreme opinions about - dating. Because of circumstances, we opted to go into a specific detail first. This week, let’s zoom out and take the overarching viewpoint.We record the Five Minute Families for Christ-following families. We want others to be able to learn from it, but the reality is that without the Holy Spirit illuminating God’s Truth that we share, much that we discuss won’t make much sense. Unfortunately, many people throughout history and indeed in modern years, have taken Scripture out of context and applied rules and conditions to finding a life mate that just are not how God intended. Yet, because those things gave us step-by-step rules to follow, so many of us got caught up in different ways of dating. God created us for relationships and He ordained the covenant of marriage. Thus, He must condone finding a mate. Some groups and cultures will arrange marriages with varying degrees of the married parties’ involvement. Still, in most cultures we know and reach, each person will choice his or her own life mate. So, let’s define out we call dating… basically, any type of meeting up -and interacting- for the purposes of getting to know someone in order to decide if you want to get married. That’s means we are including group get-togethers, courting, one-on-one outings, and everything in between when we refer to dating.But, more than dating, every single person - at any age - should be focused on relating well with everyone, not just one person of interest. Being especially mindful to relate well when you like someone matters. Five-minute families, if we want our children to relate well, date well, and marry well, then we must train them up (and work on ourselves, too) in the following five areas of relating:1. One-anothering. “The Golden Rule” says in Matthew 7:12 “Therefore, whatever you want others to do for you, do also the same for them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” If we want encouragement, love, affection, sympathy, and more, we must be willing to give those things to others.2. Boundaries. Yes, boundaries are necessary in relating well and thus in a dating relationship. While Galatians 6:2 Bear one another's BURDENS, Galatians 6:5 reminds us that we “each will have to bear his own LOAD.” We each have those areas that we must tackle and address ourselves - our load, but we each have areas wherein we need to help each other - our burdens. Boundaries are biblical in EVERY relationship not just with our neighbors as Proverbs 25:17 illustrates so well.3. Goals. Each relationship needs a common set of goals, and as those relationships are developing and we do not yet have specific goals, we must keep in mind the generalized ones from Romans 12:18 “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” And from Ephesians 4:2-3 “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”4. Communication. When we want to begin dating someone, we do not need to just blurt out, “hey, I like you. Date me.” Ephesians 4:29 tells us that “No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear.” Each new relating - slash - dating relationship needs to build a positive communication pattern, and that will take time in grace and encouragement.5. Reconciliation. All relationships, even quick interactions with strangers, may require reconciliation, so definitely in growing relationships, we must remember Matthew 5:22-24 “But I tell you, everyone who is angry with his brother or sister will be subject to judgment... First go and be reconciled with your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.” We must be willing to see how others affect us and practice God’s grace, mercy, and forgiveness freely.God gives us many great verses about relating, but these are five areas that singles should keep in mind in a dating relationship. Thanks for joining us, and don’t miss next week as we continue to discuss dating. Be blessed!