two oh hello there thanks for clicking on this video i don't know thanks hey everybody thanks welcome to hb podcast i buy myself today good luck ethan i'm gonna need it today it's a lot more awkward without you being here because i could do something awkward be like right and she'll be like right but now it's just me and it's cold it's raining outside um elah is with peace and love she has too much to do she cannot she cannot make it on wednesdays anymore peace and love thank you thank you but she will be here on friday so peace and love today's episode is sponsored by literally nobody so why don't you head on over to teddyfresh.com see if there's like there or follow us on teddyfresh on instagram i had to buy that from somebody for ten thousand dollars with peace and love the guy who owned the teddyfresh instagram was squatting on it for so long milking me like a like a horse breeder it's been a topic of a great contention that horse semen is most expensive fluid in the world a lot of talk about horse semen anyway peace and love teddyfresh all right i actually googled it and uh is that true i don't think it is well what's more expensive what's more valuable than horse there was a list of the top 10 most valuable liquids in the world and horse semen was not on the list it wasn't even on there oh so then they just told bad facts from us right which makes it even funnier what are the most valuable liquids uh top most valuable because how what could be more expensive than horses because you have to pay like like some people pay like half a million just for one load of like sea biscuit yeah scorpion venom is one of them scorpion venom uh wait what do people do scorpion venom uh horseshoe crab blood apparently the fuck you say yeah it's used in a lot of uh is this all like witchcraft shit i don't know i think it's like vaccines king cobra venom is 153 000 per gallon wait why are people using scorpion venom okay here i have a message the protein found scorpion venom can be used to treat pain in humans suffering from ms is that for real or is that like is that like pseudoscience like homeopathy shit uh no i imagine it's real oh fuck i gotta i gotta grow some scorpions so wait i'm fascinated by this go ahead read more uh it was king cobra venom uh chanel number five is on this list that's just i mean this is just a clickbait website this could be totally i mean i don't know i'm still holding your research you would research the horse semen how much how much was it i don't know you don't know off the top of the top of the top that was ben shapiro that wasn't me oh that's true that was all right well while ian looks into the true value of horse semen on the market today it fluctuates like gold you know it's a commodity it is a commodity as you well know you know david dover's been a hot topic of conversation on this podcast and um he recently had by the way i know a lot of people don't want to talk about that i'm going to talk about it i think it's fascinating i think it's incredible that somebody can get away with what he's like with assaulting someone like that um on video and admitting to it and still be like the jewel of the world he was just number one so like you're just gonna have to endure it because i think it's fascinating it's like the whole episode i found it really fascinating um he kept getting away with it uh he was number one trending in the usa with his new app dispo youtube so i don't know if it's just a matter of people aren't aware or nobody gives a fuck i truly honestly think that with what david has done to seth and james basically has james been canceled since the revelation that he was like exchanging news with a 16 year old it does seem like he's getting quite a lot and uh also uh we mentioned our enemies the other day but the the main accuser from the other day went to the police yeah so i mean if he really did that oh do we have that update can you show me that photo this is the guy who came out against james who by the way he was like i saw him talking about how he's going to delete all of his social media because he's being harassed by his fans so hardcore of course um oh the accuser is yeah the accuser is uh because everyone says he's a clock so you can't ever accuse anyone of anything online if they're famous without being a clock so like okay sister i get that clout that's like saying anyone who's famous can never do anything wrong gotta get that clout pill um horse semen is said to be like clout speaking of james charles horse semen is said to be the most expensive semen in the world and the most expensive liquid in the world so this is a gallon mother fucker this guy you sell by the gallon i mean have you seen that's literally coming buckets depending on the stallion horse semen is one of the most expensive liquids on the planet a gallon of gold medal winning big star semen wow say that again that sure does look like i mean 4.7 million is way more than the uh that's a gallon i'm talking you know you gotta get it down like how much is that per like how much scorpion jizz are you for you know that's not a lot of liquid all right but still a gallon bro let's go to the grocery store a gallon that's a whole lot a gallon of gold medal winning big star semen it sounds like an award it's an award-winning semen it sounds like a beer that you know get yourself a cool refreshing gallon of gold star winning big star semen crack open a cool one today i love that anyway so you think james is because he was like tweeting i don't know what's going on with james but i haven't heard of anything like substantial happening but the only guy's making uh actual like he went to the police doing criminal charges you know that might take a while yeah yeah no i'm just wondering like well i guess we'll have to see like if he's getting partners and sponsors and stuff if anyone deserves to be canceled it's honestly james charles at this point because he's proven that he's actually a menace to society like he is not he's not responsible enough to have a fan base he continues to prey on children and even his apology he accused the six-year-old kid excuse me i'll get to fucking discuss that in my body he accuses the six-year-old kid of having ulterior motives when james is the one that went out of his way to follow him and he said he doesn't pledge to stop he pledges to check ids in the future when flirting with people online like that that piece alone proves how sick in the head he is you can't keep getting away with it exactly so i don't know but i really truly think that um people just don't care about male victims i really think that me too just washed over male victims nobody gives a fuck when it's a male really doesn't i mean here there's an update about james charles oh yeah this is thank you this is the guy who made the recent video who said he was 16 oh he says i've been harassed so much in my life this here i'll just read it i've never been harassed so much in my life this is exactly why i didn't want to talk about my james charles story the disgusting threats and comments i've been receiving for simply sharing an experience i have aren't saying i'm probably going to leave my social media soon yeah that's why that's why people don't come forward against people like david dobrik or james charles especially david dobrik who's like fucking untouchable god and seth is still getting shit on like we're gonna talk about that later but um i have a bunch of comments from people on the subreddit because i'm wondering how people rationalize this and it's pretty crazy anyway so david has this app dispo which is as i think abu said it's like an edgy instagram you take a photo you can't fucking see it until tomorrow that's the idea you can't edit it you can't edit it you can't you can't see it until tomorrow you'll wake up right you said you said that was like the same as casey's idea for what was casey beam um it was sort of similar in the way that i mean i didn't have being but i believe beam was you just hold it up against your chest and record whatever you showed and you can edit it it would just go up to like it's like snapchat but it's like you can't edit it don't just cancel any fucking thing i swear to god like peace and love to casey but that is such a dumb idea like you have to hold it to your chest i mean who's i mean you know it's easy to say that maybe you know i mean well clearly i am right in hindsight because that did not pick up but it's easy to sit here and be like this was fucking dumb because you never know people probably said that about this day and age when everybody's so image obsessed and airbrushing every photo and wanting to look perfect or whatever trying to go against the grain on that and have a product where you can't edit a photo and you can't even see it till the next day is just so against like what people value i mean maybe people like the novelty of that but yeah it just seems like it's gonna crash over well you'll be interested to know dan that it's already valued at 200 million dollars according to axios despite literally not existing just saying like the whole app industry and invest capital ventures all these idiots such a bubble such i don't know it's a bubble it's just a bunch of like these people exactly like in the late 90s with the dot-com burst the same the same exact well you actually command you command users it's like more than just an idea you come with a dumb idea with a lot of people using it i guess that's true apparently they've raised 20 million dollars investments and it's already valued at 200 million which just cracks me the fuck up dude garbage despite having no revenue and not even existing it's worth 200 million so dispo allows you you cannot cut photos edit them or add filters stickers or anything they cannot even be published instantly or whenever the user likes but they are revealed to 9 a.m the next day so it's like going back to getting a disposable camera developed essentially yeah i think i just oh that's what the dispo is yeah i mean having a disposable camera is gonna be way more fun like just get that there's the tactile experience exactly and yeah yeah which by the way those came back into style you can get like modern day disposable or polaroids i mean and ely uses all the time they're really fun i love using those like modern day polaroids or it only takes like a minute to develop though yeah and dispo photos are shown as they are and you cannot add a caption to explain what is happening these are published separately or in roles that can be shared so there's a commercial so here's the commercial that was trending i'll play for you guys now funnily enough he's looking at pictures of seth and a gorilla and jason and like blackface what the hell these are the memories you cherish david after all these years these are the photos you saved of everything trisha crying and you bowling big nick oh my goodness so that was so wow pretty compelling stuff i'm sold i'm downloading the app right now you can't it's invite only yeah i got an invite it's funny because he's holding the polaroids but he's not but but he's selling disposal like you see what i'm saying oh wait no those are developed yeah yeah nevermind these are the photos you chose to save i can't believe it look at this these are your good memories david that's twisted bro that is not okay brings a tear to your eye yeah uh the memories yeah so he still hasn't answered for this which is crazy we need to start like a countdown i feel like this reveal uh actually gives someone an explanation for why he doesn't address this because if this was on the horizon having a big scandal right before he launches his giant app uh it's probably the last thing he wanted so one billion you know i had no idea this app was going on but um apparently you know what's really disposable um everybody in david's life like big nick seth all his friends jason once he gets in trouble for for assaulting seth it's perfectly uh it's perfect that he calls his app disposable because that's how he sees everybody trisha for example yeah there was there was memes on tiktoks about them oh i'm gonna get it david did this transformation into being old and uh this was pretty good tiktok here looks a lot like uh someone else we know huh oh no interesting that's fucking brutal right i'm almost on david thing but let's go over to david's subreddit because i was wondering like when you have evidence of this assault on camera and him talking about it in great detail i was racially motivated and you know the great lengths he went and that he knew it would humiliate him so i went to a subreddit i saw this help me understand i'm genuinely confused for the support for david right now top comment all there's to understand is that trisha is still about her and actually is an insecure sellout everyone should question if they're exploiting seth's story and maybe focus a bit more on the source of all this drama she said herself if jay her and jason broke up she would destroy them i mean i don't understand that first of all first of all sellout insecure maybe insecure maybe yeah i was trying to think what i wanted to accept sellout fine insecure also fine i mean david he's on camera it's not there's no source of the story it's seth's story seth is the source of the story so here's another one this shit's crazy if ethan doesn't use david's name how else is he gonna afford the new car he got this is the most money this guy's probably made come on but this is that this is the rationale people have it's just it's all about making money getting views when it just sidesteps the actual criticism fully it's just yeah attack the the person who's talking about it rather than the argument i fully support anyone who actually suffers from racism discrimination or abuse however this sexual assault allegation is ridiculously toxic borders on insanity i'm sorry the new generation of internet kids but the same age as but being the same age as david and i can truly say how pg the internet has become the last three years seriously you can't even like do that yeah back when i was a kid the internet was like homeless people fighting each other so maybe it's better that it's been cleaned up a little bit that was like what we used to watch and like uh people being decapitated and shit rotten.com yeah rotten.com man that website is not fucking okay jesus christ bro was that website taken off the internet or what i don't really want to check it probably still exists god i don't really want to type that url in though tell me what you see describe it i don't know what's wrong with people like why would you go there jesus well it sounds like this person's argument is that these kind of jokes like jokes that were socially acceptable three years ago get canceled for not boys fuck around with each other and that's what we do biggest mistake was thinking anyone around him was his friend because you can do those things with friends and be funny not abusive big nick said repeatedly david okay so big nick said david apologized and he accepted it the difference that you're missing again because i don't think you're actually watching what we're doing you're just looking at face value seth told him he was not okay with it and he didn't want it out there and then when david asked if he could do it again to seth insisted over and over that no he could not do it to him again and cut the small part where he said it's okay you're also ignoring the part where david literally says it was racially motivated because he knew homosexuality isn't accepted in the african-american community so like this is not boys will be boys dude oh rotten's not up Thank God. Thank fucking God that website's not online today. I mean, all that shit's still out there, obviously, but I don't know where to find it anymore. Thank God.
You don't want kids going to Rotten.com, man. That's just work. They're in middle school. Awful.
No wonder our generation is so fucked. We were all growing up on Rotten.com. It was just like the most horrible, horrific shit. It was just like an indoor...
People for videos. Yeah, I guess the word videos. Yeah, people blowing their brains out. People crushed by...
It's just the worst shit possible. Awful, awful. You remember the Pain Olympics, bro? I wish I didn't.
BME Pain Olympics. Yo, so we've all... No wonder we're all fucked in the head because we all saw this video called the BME Pain Olympics where you watch a guy take like a hatchet and fucking hack his dick and balls off, bro. I'm telling you, you don't need to go through life seeing this.
And yet we all did. Was that real, though? It looked real, man. I've heard people always go...
I think people try to convince themselves it's fake because you just can't stomach that knowing it's real. So there's been a lot of conjectures that it's real as fake. It looked real as fuck. It looked real as a mother.
It's some real stuff. They're cartel videos. I mean, the whole video of the Pain Olympics was like all about genital mutilation of dudes doing it to themselves, right? Hammer spirit and shit.
I saw this one video on a e-fucked, which is a total crap shoot because e-fucked can be fun until it's not fun anymore. Me and Iila were watching it one day, just, I don't know, we were bored. And it was all fun and games because usually it's like weird just offbeat shit. And so one time we clicked a video.
It was a dude, a girl in a stiletto stepping on a dude's dick with the pointy part and the pointy part broke through his cock. Oh, I've seen that one. And then I closed the e-fucked and never went back. I literally couldn't get the event and a lot of those videos are real.
The one that you're talking about though where he fully chops his dick, that one is a hoax apparently. How do you know? You know that's proven? I'm just going off of an article.
Yeah, I mean, I read that. I hope that's true. I hope it's true. I think there's a lot of people who know what we're talking about and a lot of people who don't.
But man, oh man, that was some wild shit. I don't recommend seeking it out if you haven't. Was that where like Two Girls, One Cup was? Like on those types of websites?
Two Girls, One Cup had its own website, I believe. It was literally twogirlsonecup.com. Yes. Yeah, what is the origin of Two Girls, One Cup?
Was that really from some porno or was that just like a spectacle? No, it was like a snuff film. It was a Brazilian film, bro. Snuff is like when you die, isn't it?
Isn't a snuff film like when you killed them and then... One of the women did die from eating the... Eating the poo-poo? Yeah, she actually did die.
What? You're bullshitting. No, Google it, Google it, Google it. Well, I guess it is a snuff film.
No, but that can't be true, Zach. That's why it was a Brazilian film. One of them now sells ice cream and the other passed away. Oh, we got to go buy ice cream from her.
Oh, no. If you haven't seen it, the reason that's so horrible is it looks like... There's some poo-poo that looks like ice cream at one point. Well, so, I mean, everybody's seen Two Girls, One Cup, but there's this really beautiful music and then these girls...
There's like a... Oh, my God. So there's a doo-doo and an ice cream cone, right? And they eat it.
Yeah, you see the dude pooping, right? Or a girl pooping. Oh, yeah, yes, yes. A girl poops on ice cream and then they eat it and then they puke it out.
All like a really beautiful music place. I'm trying to see... Except eating the poo-poo. Two Girls, One Cup has a Wikipedia page, so I'm scanning through it real quick to see if a girl really died.
That was some good shit back then, boy. Hungry... Oh, here's the movie from Hungry Bitches. Yeah, Hungry Bitches.
I'll say. Apparently it was a... That video was a trailer. That was the trailer for Hungry Bitches.
Let's go. If that's just the trailer, I can't even imagine how bad the actual movie is. I never read that. Bro, there's no way the girl died.
I don't see any deaths involved. That's 62 minutes of pure shit-eating fun. 62 minutes, bro. I'm not saying anything about them dying.
Why would she die? She's a pro. She's a shit-eating pro. I remember reading an article that one of them did pass away.
Some parents just made their shit up. So kids don't eat their own shit. Yeah, I don't think poopoo, eating a poopoo is deadly. You can, though.
If you're shot like that, yeah. They're pros, though. They know what they're doing. Only trained professionals.
Oh, God. We're talking about David Dover. David Epstein. The other person is poopoo-ing.
Hey, people pay to see that. I don't know what to tell you, buddy. Yeah, not only is David not responding, he continues to remove any clip. Like, you remember we did, like, a reaction video where I was making fun of the reactions because he didn't say anything, and I was watching the original video.
Well, he blocked that one. I'm kind of of two minds of that because, I mean, obviously, he's motivated by trying to cover it up, but also, it probably shouldn't be on the internet. Like, it's a fucked up video. Yeah, but that's not why he's removing it.
I agree, but, like, it's probably good that it's not readily available. I just think it's telling that he's going after all these little breadcrumbs trying to erase it from the internet. Why don't you just acknowledge it, bro? If you're going to go around blocking it, just acknowledge that it happened.
You know. What'd you say, Ian? Oh, Ian. I mean, Zach, this is obviously a joke, dude.
It says Latifah, the co-star, died of dysentery three days after filming the now iconic clip. That's obviously a joke. Where'd you read that? I guess from where Ian sent it from.
Where'd you send it from, Ian? No, I didn't send it. I was looking it up, but I'm seeing that posted on places like iFunny and stuff like that. Is that your source, Zach?
No, I remember the New York Times competitor, iFunny. I'm not reading that. I'm sure you got that on iFunny, Zach. Look at iFunny.
I've probably been around for a while. I don't know. Hey, Zach, what's with the police chair? Are you following my lead?
Is this a solidarity thing? What's going on with the police chair? I mean, I'm the golden boy, and I have to outdo AB with sickness. So you just followed me?
Yeah. It's like a Ryan Michael Scott situation. Yeah. Right.
Wait, I guess it's reversed. Yeah, never mind. Okay, looks pretty good. I like it.
It's a little, it's still got some orange. I bleached it two times and added a blonde color to it and it fucking burned the shit out of my scalp. Can we get some Gorilla Glue in there? Yeah.
For Rolex. For Rolex. I think it looks good, the color that it is, though. Oh, this is my favorite David update, you guys.
This is another post I found on the server while I was just looking at people defending him. Yo, I won the David Dobrik 25 cent puzzle, but it's asking for bank info. Is it safe or is it worth 25 cents? So that means that 95% of the people buying this puzzle and winning 25 cents are not even getting a prize because they're making and putting your fucking bank info to receive 25 cents.
Who the fuck's going to do that? Also, most of the kids buying this are kids. They don't have bank accounts. You know what I mean?
That's a good point. Wow. So the majority of these prizes, probably 95%, is not even being paid the fuck out by David Dobrik. This has one point.
This is literally what's going on. The fact that even he can get away with this puzzle thing baffles me. I don't think many people can get away with this puzzle thing and be lauded by people like Casey Neistat Logan Paul as being this genius entrepreneur. It's funny that his family is calling you a sellout.
I know. People always say I'm a sellout. I don't know why. You're not selling fucking lotteries to children.
I mean, am I trying to make a living? Yes. But I consider all the money I've made legitimate. I'm not fucking putting poison baby food or anything.
What makes me a sellout? I don't know. I think you're disgusting. I'm going to kill you.
You get $200. Oh. Now that's a sellout. Yo, exactly.
David Dobrik is making a puzzle piece. We have to put your bank info in to get 25 cents out. That's selling out. Yeah.
But everyone says he's a genius businessman so I don't know what the fuck makes me sellout. To me, growing up, people would call a band a sellout if they went mainstream and signed to a major label and changed their style. Sell their songs to be on a car commercial. Right.
Yeah, like that's selling out. What have you done that's selling out? Maybe here's what selling out would be for me. Let me think.
I think me going, let's say, and what's selling out for me? What would be selling out? Maybe like selling the H3 brand to MTV to make a reality show that you're not even in. That'd be good.
Or something. You know what I mean? That's selling out. Or maybe me doing a documentary now with Shane or something.
That would be helpful. Or something like that. Or doing like, let's say, doing, oh, you know what would be selling out? Joining the vlog squad.
That would be fucking selling out. For sure. Yeah, a little skeptical. Yeah, I'm not sure if David's necessarily going to do it.
I'm here, David. Actually, I have my number. No, I don't think so. Anyway, so that's that.
I'm done. Everybody fucking be happy. You can stop talking about David. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Peace and love. A plastic surgeon performed surgery during a Zoom court appearance. By the way, plastic surgeons are not reputable people. I just distrust, in general, plastic surgeons.
Some are. Don't blanket this mess. Because lots of plastic surgeons. Yeah, you do plastic surgery for people that get burned horribly or disappeared in some way.
There's definitely legit plastic surgeons. A lot of them are hacks, though, for sure. Well, I feel like, okay. All right, maybe.
This guy is. So this motherfucker has a play video. So can everybody hear me? Officer Monroe, Mr.
Green. Ramirez, is she part of this case? Yes. Oh, people are just coming in.
What I'm looking at is Scott Douglas Green's case. Case number 20, TRO95795. I believe Officer Monroe is present on this case as well. So unless I'm mistaken, I'm seeing a defendant that's in the middle of an operating room appearing to be actively engaged in providing services to a patient.
Is that correct, Mr. Green? Yes, sir. Or should I say Dr.
Green, but I don't know that. I do not feel comfortable for the welfare of a patient if you're in the process of operating, but I would put on a trial, notwithstanding the fact that the officer's here today. I have another surgeon right here who's doing the surgery with me, so I can stand here and allow them to do the surgery also. Not at all.
I don't think so. I don't think that's appropriate. I'm going to come up with a different date when you're not actively involved or participating and attending to the needs of a patient. Let me see if I can get it.
Yeah, this is the craziest shit. What the fuck is wrong with this man? What is wrong with this man? I'm here lying.
I'm not a cat. I mean, imagine being that patient. You know what I mean? You wake up and you're like, wait, I was getting my tits enlarged on February 28th.
It reminds me, we had the booty doctor. There was a doctor who was filming patients unbeknownst when he was operating on their butts to make them bigger. And she was dancing. It was a woman, right?
And she was making TikTok dance videos while operating on people. Yeah, that ruled. There's a lot. I'm saying a lot of doctors and I think dentists who are kind of on the radar.
They're on notice. You've got people like Jimmy Lee out there operating on people. Scott Green, for example, he's doing operating on people. From all accounts, Jimmy is a great dentist, though, right?
Been very successful. Yeah, he's good at what he does, apparently. The man knows teeth. He knows teeth.
Comedy, a little shaky. Ah, man. What a fucking idiot. This is so stupid.
Did he just forget? I was just wondering, how did this happen? Did he forget he had a court case? And he just opened up Zoom real fast in the middle of operating?
Yeah, he's like, oh, I see it. He double booked. Do you know what the case was about? Was it something really important?
I mean, probably not, I'm not considering the judge was just like, he's just like fighting a speeding ticket or something. Yeah, I doubt it was very important. Oh, my God. Okay, so the Golden Globes, I don't know, the Golden Globes is a big deal.
I didn't even know what happened. Apparently, it happened like this week. Well, it was all done remote, so, I mean, it didn't get as much, you know, half the hype around these award shows is for the red carpet and all that nonsense, whatever. Well, it's not happening.
I care about this shit, you see, but I didn't even know what happened. That's what we did. Everything over Zoom, and, you know, the pandemic sucks, but all this Zoom mishaps are great, so let's remember 2021 fondly for that, at least, because Al Pacino, this is so amazing, is in the virtual audience, and he's just fucking sleeping, bro. This is the best thing.
I love Al Pacino. I guess to be fair, he's like, what, he's probably in his 80s now? Yeah, and I mean, it's the Golden Globes. What do you want him to do, sit there for two hours?
He's looking fly as hell, though, and he's got that goddamn, he's got that really nice, like, mid-life crisis, or not, it's like just a middle-aged woman's haircut, really. It's almost like a Hillary Clinton, which is awesome here. You broke my heart. They get him dirty, bro, they could have panned to somebody else.
They're like, I'll sleep and fucking get his ass. You broke my heart. Listen, Golden Globes camera operator, I know it was you. God.
You had Brad Pitt on my left, Leonardo DiCaprio above me. Yeah, you chose to pan to me. Stop! You broke my heart, Fredo.
You broke my heart. What, you've never been tired of my 85-year-old man, and you pan over to me? What did I do to deserve this disrespect out of you? I know it was you, Fredo.
And now everybody's goofing on me, before my hair that looks like, that fucking fishbowl. I don't know what's wrong. Why do you make fun of his hair? I like his hair.
I think it looks good. I'm not even saying that. I saw people were climbing on it. Oh, his hair?
Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Seems fine. Broke my heart.
Back off the chain of people. 80 years old, man. He looks great for 80. Let's see, he won.
He was nominated for some show I've never heard of on Amazon Prime called Hunters. I don't know what the fuck that is. Is it about Nazi Hunters? A great show.
It really is a great show. Oh, I was excited about that, but I saw it was getting bad reviews, so I just skipped it. It has a 64 in Rotten Tomatoes. Not great.
It didn't win. But it got a Golden Globe nomination. Yeah, well, he's real excited about that, clearly. So did Sia.
Right, exactly. Sia got two nominations. I heard Two Girls, One Cop was even nominated for cinematography. Right, yeah.
Classic film. Achievement. Achievement. Pacino's reps did not immediately return requests for comment.
Hmm. Wait, what's there to say? We're waiting for comment. You guys owe us an explanation.
Not only did Pacino's nap make waves in their annual show, he also got a fleck for his wild hairstyle. Yeah, I don't get that. I think his hair is fly. I think he's 80 years old, and he looks fucking great.
The man, after all he's done for us, deserves a nap. I'm not really seeing, I'm not seeing the hair thing. What's the issue? Oh, this was also great.
Daniel Kaluuya, Judas on the black hole. What's my name? Duncan Chino. Oh, so here, by the way, Jared Leto, you can tell he's so pissed he didn't win.
Look at him. What the fuck was Jared Leto nominated for? Daniel Kaluuya. Look at Jared Leto.
He's so angry. What's in his hand? He's trying to do a popper. Yo, look at that.
He's so pissed, bro. You left me in black hole. Bill Murray was in something? I'm so behind.
Anyway, here's his acceptance speech. He's got hyped. Yeah, his mic is muted, and the hosts are just saying, I want you to get here, and they don't know what to do. As you can see, we unfortunately have a bad connection.
We apologize for that technical problem. Damn, he just got fucking... That was awesome. They're like, peace out.
He's probably at home still giving the speech, you know what I mean? Yeah, he is. He's doing me that, he's doing me that, he's doing me that, he's doing me that. Am I on?
Is this on? Is this on? All right, cool. All right, who cares?
Leto, you're right. Leto look furious. He's so pissed. What was he even nominated for?
What was he doing? Daniel Kaluuya. Best supporting actor in a motion picture. Four.
His performance in The Little Things, a drama. I need a machine gun. Interestingly, that's the name of... What are you going to say?
You know what I'm going to say. Yo, this next one comes from Snoop Dogg, who apparently is not smoking enough weed, because he rages like a fucking 12-year-old on Twitch over Madden. I've got to be honest with you. I'm not one to say I haven't raged up playing video games before, but I feel like it's not a...
I don't like seeing Snoop do it. You know what I mean? He's supposed to be the chill, cool dad, and he gets so angry. Fuck!
He's so angry. This is fucking Madden, bro. You're like 60. Look at him.
He's fuming. Bro, it's Madden. Fuck this shit. Everything looks fucking bad.
Fuck this shit, man. Fucking Madden football, Snoop Dogg. So he storms off in a rage, and apparently he left the stream going for like 12 hours, where people have just hung out in the chat, and then he came back in the morning 12 hours later and turned it off. Fucking thing sucks.
I don't know. Do you know what I mean? It's just, it makes me... Got a huge game on it.
I don't like seeing Snoop Dogg like that. It's not the vibe that I want from him. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're right.
He's a... You think he maybe had too much indiga, not enough sativa. I don't know what I'm talking about. It's just like weed talk.
I feel like the weed talk is always so stupid. People get so into weed. No, no, no, no, no. Your problem is that you just need to smoke sativa.
I have smoked a lot of weed in my life, and I gotta tell you, it's all the same. Thank you, Dan. Somebody finally fucking says it. There's no...
I go, can you really tell if you're doing indica and sativa? Oh, yeah, bro. Oh, it's way more heavy. You want the body high, you gotta do the indica, bro.
I was like, dude, I don't know about you, but no matter what I smoke, I feel like fucking paranoid and regretful that I ever did it. Yep. I don't feel that way, but I think, yeah, people overstate greatly the variance and impact of the strains. Bro, you need that bubblegum shrimp and dump and doop and snooping.
That's gonna put you right to sleep. I mean, certainly, different weed has different potency. Some is stronger than others. That's real.
But as far as, you know, the intricacies of this specific strain is gonna do this to you versus this, it's pretty bogus. Wake up. It is pretty bogus. Yeah, I just don't like seeing Snoop like this.
He's supposed to be the cool... I mean, this is not a good ad for weed. It's like it is shit. You know what I mean?
It's what's up. Fuck! Like, I can't remember the last time I was that mad at anything. You've been playing all the Souls games and you haven't rage quit?
No, not that mad. Not that mad? Not that mad. He's playing competitive online, though.
That does amp up the... He's the wrong-ass man whose blood is half THC. Fuck this shit, man. He's so good.
How about when you were a teenager? Yeah, I'm raged, yeah, sure. Fuck! You gotta sound like that.
That's fucking so good. Right here. I don't pull it. Yeah, I mean, I've raged as a kid, you know?
Just don't take video games that seriously anymore. Yeah, same. As a teenager, for sure, playing the World of Three Starcraft. Fucking thing sucks!
Pretty mad. I beat all the games. I beat Bloodborne. I beat all the Dark Souls.
I'm out. Fucking done. Oh, you beat Bloodborne? Mm-hmm.
Oh, nice. I can be honest. I liked Bloodborne, but the ending was bizarre. Like, I got the true ending where you kill the Moon Presence and spoiler alert for six years.
It doesn't make any sense. It's like, oh, you become a little worm. It's like, I don't get it. How do you become a worm by killing the Moon Presence?
Stupid. I did not get it. You want to explain it to me, Dan? Because you seem obsessed with Bloodborne.
You got, like, two hours? Seriously? Well, they, like, don't show something. I kill the Moon Presence and now I'm a maggot.
Like, growing up as a whole. I get it, but it's... You ascended. You're a great one now.
You're a god. Stupid. The gods are pussies in that game. You kill them so easy, by the way.
It must be a god. The hunter's way more powerful. True. Spirit than death.
Anyway, so that's Snoop Dog. Next up, we've got Wendy. Who knew that old Wendy Williams... And notice I say Wendy, not Wendy.
Because she... That's her farting. And I know many of you who are new to the show may not realize, but that is a real fart. Zach, go ahead.
That's her fart isolated and turned up. I forgot that that one was Wendy. Not pitched or anything. No, that's straight up Wendy Williams passing gas on her show.
No, it was a cup being moved across the table. That was her explanation, right? I got to pull that up, Wendy Williams. Actually, that clip, I specifically remember, got us claimed.
Oh, for real? The Wendy Williams show in general is one of the most prolific claimers of anything we've ever watched on the show. Like, any time we've ever done anything... Yo, they're catching on that fart money, bro.
Got that fart money, yeah. In fact, they claimed this once just for using a soundbite from their show. Of the audience doing the whoop, whoop, what? Yeah, that got us a claim.
Fuck you, Wendy. Anyway, I don't like Wendy Williams. I think she's a really obnoxious person. And her show's just bizarre, frankly.
Because, like, the women, they're just... They're way too involved in the show. Then she comes out and they all go whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. It's just so bizarre.
And, you know... So, Wendy Williams is, of course, on top of all of her great qualities that I love, an anti-vaxxer. And she went on Dr. Oz's show.
And I guess, good for Dr. Oz. He's out there. He's showing himself getting his COVID shot.
He's trying to, you know, drum up support for it because there's a lot of dumb-dumbs out there who don't want to get it. Peace and love, peace and love. And she says straight up... She says straight up to Dr.
Oz, I'm not getting it. I don't trust it. Let's watch. So, are you planning on getting your vaccine?
No. No. No. You don't have it on the screen?
Oh, fuck. I'm such an idiot. Sometimes I just sit here and watch it on my laptop and forget I'm doing a show. By the way, he's like, that's not going as you planned, Dr.
Oz. He's trying to drum up support and then he brings on some idiot anti-vaxxer. He goes, so when are you getting a shot? I'm not.
Hottest topic in medicine right now, the COVID vaccine. I just got vaccinated. I did okay. I didn't have any issue.
I noticed that the huge biceps muscles of pectoralis, by the way. You know you're a very sexy man. So, are you planning on getting your vaccine? No.
No. Brave. I don't trust it. Yo, it's the same vibe that I get from Joe Rogan and Elon Musk.
It's just like, in the face, in the face of nobody willing to speak the truth, I will stand up and say, no, I will not get the COVID vaccine. She doesn't trust it? Girl, what haven't you injected in your body? I mean, with peace and love, you have like a gallon of Botox in your fucking face and you're afraid of a COVID shot?
That is the dumbest rationale ever. You've injected everything in the kitchen and in the bathroom sink and fucking into your face, lips, eyebrows, and forehead and you won't get a COVID vaccination? I mean, I've seen you faint like on stage. If anyone needs it, it's you.
We need to protect Wendy Williams. She can't even throw her own bowels. She's on stage farting and passing gas and shit. God damn.
I've never gotten a flu shot either though and you and I talked about that. Yeah, well, it's not the flu shot. It's a fucking pandemic, dude. How are people so miseducated and she thinks she's being so woke and edgy?
The doctors on my team talk to me about Wendy will get the flu shot. I've never had the flu, I'm not getting a flu shot. I very rarely get a cold. I never have headaches.
I don't take an aspirin because I feel my heart murmur or something like that. I'm not getting, no, I don't trust it. There, I said it. What do you mean you don't trust it?
There, I said it. Now, hand me that Botox needle. By the way, Botox is like the most toxic. Fact check, man.
But Botox, the reason it works is because it's like the most toxic poison known to humankind and they put like so little of it in you that it causes that reaction in your skin. I don't know about it being the most, but yeah, I mean, it is, I mean, the toxin Botox stands for toxin. Yes, you're injecting the toxin. I don't trust it.
Okay, we go. Apparently, there's like seven or eight different types of Botox so maybe one of them is a... I don't trust it. There, I said it.
Now, hand me those bags of, now, hand me those bags of jelly and insert it in my ass and fucking give me 20 syringes of Botox you trust. You trust everything about this? Why? I'm sorry for doubting you.
Botulium... Oh, how the fuck you say that? Botox are the most poisonous proteins known. You got it.
Hey, I'm right about something. This is a big moment for me, you guys. Can I give an acceptance speech here? Give me some inspiration.
Guys, I'd like to thank my extensive knowledge for my upbringing. The estimated human lethal dose of type A is one to two nanograms. Exactly. It's so little.
It is so toxic and poisonous that they put like almost like it's such a tiny amount. She's like, pass that shit, buddy. Pass that. Pass that.
That's really something. I knew it was poisonous, but not that poisonous. Yeah, it is like insanely toxic. Pass that shit, Wendy.
Pass it. COVID, uh-uh. In World War II, the U.S. Army was researching using it as a chemical weapon.
Pass that. I trust that. I want that in my face. Pass it over here.
I mean, obviously, lots of people use Botox. Lots of people have done COVID shots. Right, yeah. Millions and millions.
You should definitely get it. Well-researched. Hey, the drug is under development for treatment of premature ejaculation. Botox?
Oh, put that right in my cock. Take whatever you got. Anything to treat my cock. Oh, we got something.
We got Logan Paul News. What is this? He wrote some kind of cringe, like, pseudo-intellectual poem. He wrote a poem and posted it?
Logan Paul declared he's done with the Hollywood lifestyle and pseudo-intellectual poem that could have been summarized to the words people grow up. People grow up. Oh, yeah, bro! People grow up.
Now, I'm going to get Pokemon cards. Can we do a poetry reading? Yeah. Can we do a slam poetry music?
No, not. Give me something, like, sappy, you know, emotional. Something emotional? Yes.
I've grown up. I will no longer be filming Dead Bodies and Fours, and I will instead be playing Pokemon professionally. As I sit... Here, Logan Paul, 2001, February 20th.
1.34 a.m. As I sit, observing the horde of inebriated... Dude, I'm already so embarrassed. Did you forget who you are?
You're going to sit there talking about the horde of inebriated young Hollywood socialites? Let's give him a chance, I mean. He's 24. He's grown up.
It was only a few years ago he was running around Japan like a fucking basket. Okay, I'll give him another chance, sorry. As I sit, observing the horde of inebriated young Hollywood socialites driven by temptation and bad intentions, a.k.a. when I turn away from the mirror, I take pleasure in knowing that while a part of me flourishes in such an environment, my personal aspirations will not often lead me to such crassness.
The privilege of youth, the absence of responsibility, the free-spirited nature of song and dance all fleeting. I feel it. The venom of adulthood slowly sinks way into my veins. Not the most expensive fluid that is forcing me to determine.
And with it comes new passions like Pokemon cards and new habits like recolonizing Puerto Rico. I do enjoy it. But I cannot deny the inevitable ending of an era. Wow.
Wow. Wow. Wow. Oh, that's fake.
I'm sorry. Wow. Wrong Paul. Wow.
Jake, you better come out with your own poem now. He sounds like Bilbo before going to Rivendell. To the Grey Harbor. Except he's got to throw his own ass in the fucking volcano at Mount Doom.
One of the comments says, what, 16-year-old stoner? Did he pay to write this? Dude, you've got to be very careful with poetry because, yo, listen, I majored in poetry creative writing in college, so take it from me. I would never post any of my poetry publicly, bro.
Trust me on that. Because I'm a mother of freaking bluebirds. Now, that's a line. Because you cannot, poetry's so personal, right?
Like, to actually be a good poet, it's just, bro, the venom. By the way, listen, I think this is a telling line. The venom of adulthood. It's like, bro, you must really hate your fucking parents.
You know what I mean? Because he thinks adulthood is venomous. It's like, it's not venomous. It's just obvious that you're just going to have to fucking grow up, dude.
Maybe this dude. Look at me. The venom of adulthood. He's seen what adulthood is through his parents.
And that's, he sees as venom sinking into it. His hair's falling out. Greg Paul, he sees his daddy who lives in an RV and fucks his pants. That's adulthood.
That's what he sees as adulthood. It's sinking into his veins. It's inevitable. GP coming at you.
He says, in my veins, it comes new passions, new habits, like living in an RV and fucking young girls. I do enjoy it, though, he says. I'd rather speak up and be wrong than be muffled and be wrong. Fucking GP coming at you with those eyes.
GP should be a poet, man. Fuck Logan. I'd rather speak up and be wrong. Than be muzzled.