EPISODE · Jun 17, 2026 · 41 MIN
Drunk to Be Herself. Then Astrology | Kayli Halliwell
from Feck It, No More · host Glenn Monaghan
Kayli Halliwell spent eleven years in Melbourne going out three times a week, using substance and alcohol to push through, and waiting until everyone else was drunk before she could say what she actually thought. On the outside it looked like freedom. On the inside she was depressed, disconnected, and kept asking herself the same question: is there something wrong with me?Then Melbourne went into the world's longest lockdown. With nothing to put the feelings down, astrology found her during a Saturn return she had not planned for. When she came back out to the world she had built, she genuinely could not go back. The confirmation came at a works party. She spent two hours in a toilet cubicle, high, writing to herself about how none of it was aligned anymore.She has been a hairdresser since she was sixteen. She is thirty-four. In three months she is pulling the plug, moving to Margaret River, and going all in on astrology with four months of savings. It just has to work.This episode covers the eleven-year cycle, the Saturn return, three years of forced loneliness, the inner child speaking when the big feelings come up, and what it actually costs to leave an identity you have held since you were a teenager.If this episode has brought something up for you, you are not alone. Lifeline is available 24/7 on 13 11 14. Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636.If you have had a feck it, no more moment and want to share your story, or know someone who should, reach out to Glenn directly:[email protected]## HELPLINES REFERENCE| Line | Number | Hours | Notes ||------|--------|-------|-------|| Lifeline | 13 11 14 | 24/7 | General crisis support || Beyond Blue | 1300 22 4636 | 24/7 | Mental health, anxiety, depression || SMART Recovery Australia | smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au | Online | Substance use support || Emergency | 000 | 24/7 | Police, ambulance, fire |*This episode covers substance use, depression, anxiety, identity loss, and career transition. No DV, eating disorder, or gambling content. Lifeline, Beyond Blue and SMART Recovery are appropriate.*Follow the show for new episodes every week.
What this episode covers
Kayli Halliwell spent eleven years in Melbourne going out three times a week, using substance and alcohol to push through, and waiting until everyone else was drunk before she could say what she actually thought. On the outside it looked like freedom. On the inside she was depressed, disconnected, and kept asking herself the same question: is there something wrong with me?Then Melbourne went into the world's longest lockdown. With nothing to put the feelings down, astrology found her during a Saturn return she had not planned for. When she came back out to the world she had built, she genuinely could not go back. The confirmation came at a works party. She spent two hours in a toilet cubicle, high, writing to herself about how none of it was aligned anymore.She has been a hairdresser since she was sixteen. She is thirty-four. In three months she is pulling the plug, moving to Margaret River, and going all in on astrology with four months of savings. It just has to work.This episode covers the eleven-year cycle, the Saturn return, three years of forced loneliness, the inner child speaking when the big feelings come up, and what it actually costs to leave an identity you have held since you were a teenager.If this episode has brought something up for you, you are not alone. Lifeline is available 24/7 on 13 11 14. Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636.If you have had a feck it, no more moment and want to share your story, or know someone who should, reach out to Glenn directly:[email protected]## HELPLINES REFERENCE| Line | Number | Hours | Notes ||------|--------|-------|-------|| Lifeline | 13 11 14 | 24/7 | General crisis support || Beyond Blue | 1300 22 4636 | 24/7 | Mental health, anxiety, depression || SMART Recovery Australia | smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au | Online | Substance use support || Emergency | 000 | 24/7 | Police, ambulance, fire |*This episode covers substance use, depression, anxiety, identity loss, and career transition. No DV, eating disorder, or gambling content. Lifeline, Beyond Blue and SMART Recovery are appropriate.*Follow the show for new episodes every week.
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Drunk to Be Herself. Then Astrology | Kayli Halliwell
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