DTD1399: Insult Sword Fighting episode artwork

EPISODE · Nov 26, 2020 · 4 MIN

DTD1399: Insult Sword Fighting

from Dot to Dot - the daily 5min Alexa demo show

I have *no* idea what is going on in this game. I guess I'm not very good at insulting pirates - or listening to instructions - one or the other (or both). Feedback, comments, demos pleas to ✉️ [email protected] 👍 You can also support the show with a tap at www.glow.fm/dottodot - please consider doing so and become an official Dot to Dot 🌟

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DTD1399: Insult Sword Fighting

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TRANSCRIPT · AUTO-GENERATED

Hey guys today, I can get a bit of a daft skill, but that's never stopped us before, it's called insult sword fighting. Alexa, open insult sword fighting. So you want to become a great swordsman? First, you must learn the proper technique of insult sword fighting.

Follow along with the Alexa companion app for the best experience. The current difficulty level is easy. Say tutorial for some quick instructions. Say start game to start the game.

Say help for more options. Tutorial. I'm going to let you in on the true secret of sword fighting. Sword fighting is kind of like making love.

It's not always what you do, but what you say. Any full pirate can swing a sharp piece of metal around and hope to cut something. But the pros? They know just when to cut their opponent with an insult.

One that catches them off guard. You see, your wits got to be twice as sharp as your sword. Let's try a couple of insults out, shall we? Okay, imagine this.

We're fighting up a storm. There's a sudden break in the fighting and I say to you. You fight like a dairy farmer. You should respond with something like.

How appropriate. You fight like a cow. You see, it's razor sharp with like that that wins fights. Let's try another.

Imagine this, you're trapped up against a wall. My sword just slash two cuts into your face. I say, soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish kebob. A correct response would be, first, you better start waving it around like a feather duster.

See? Raise a sharp. One thing to note, you can't use an insult or a retort until you've heard it before, so you need to fight other pirates to learn the insults and their responses. Now, I suggest you go out there and learn some insults.

Say tutorial to repeat these instructions, otherwise say start game. Start game. Ready to begin. You see five pirates nearby.

An ugly pirate, a stinky pirate, a bloodthirsty pirate, a dirty rotten pirate and a sword. A sword master. Who would you like to fight? Dirty rotten pirate.

So, you think you can be the dirty rotten pirate? No. I'll start. Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish kebob.

Errrr. If you don't know the proper retort yet, you can respond with a lay retort such as, I'm shaking, I'm shaking. What is your retort? Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish kebob.

I'm shaking like a leaf. You ignorant fool. That was not the correct retort. It is still my turn.

I've spoken with apes more polite than you. If you don't know the proper retort yet, you can respond with a lay retort such as, oh yeah. What is your retort? I've spoken with apes more polite than you.

Oh yeah, well, your mama looks like an ape. A pathetic attempt at wit. That was not the correct retort. It is still my turn.

You're no match for my brains. You poor fool. You're no match for my sword. It is your turn to give the retort, not the insult.

Please try again. You're no match for my brains. You poor fool. Well, you're not fighting with your brains.

I have no right to do it. A pathetic attempt at wit. That was not the correct retort. I had defeated you.

You'll have to keep fighting to get strong enough to defeat the sword master. You see five pirates nearby. An ugly pirate. A look.

Thank you, pirate. A bl- stop. Goodbye. Okay guys.

No idea what was going on there. I hope you did have some idea because you may want to play this. I like the sound effects and I like the premise. I just have no clue.

There you go. Thanks guys. It's called insult sword fighting and we will speak in tomorrow. Feedback comments demos.

The dot-to-dot podcast at gmail.com. briefcast.fm

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This episode was published on November 26, 2020.

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I have *no* idea what is going on in this game. I guess I'm not very good at insulting pirates - or listening to instructions - one or the other (or both). Feedback, comments, demos pleas to ✉️ [email protected] 👍 You can also support...

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