This week's guest is Michael Anderson, who joins us for an in-person interview. Currently, Michael is the restaurant director and manager at the Elora Mill, located in Elora, Ontario. Our interview focuses on the sustainability of staff as some of the topics we cover include the uniqueness of the Elora Mill environment, some of the ways that Michael goes about hiring people, we discuss how treating staff has changed over the years with a greater focus on mental health, and we talk about developing a team of your staff and how it's important to have staff with varying levels of skills and interests. It was great to talk with Michael in person and make sure you check out the Elora Mill online at Elora Mill dot CA and on Instagram at Elora underscore Mill.
Enjoy the show. Welcome back to another episode of the industry podcast. My name is Kit. This is Dan.
What's going on, buddy? And I'm not much. Just another day of working like a chump yourself. That's same.
Same. I feel like I work for the city of Cambridge now. So I'm just fucking getting it up getting it from both ends from fire and health. Yeah, perfect.
So one day we may see the triumphant return of the Argyle Arms in Cambridge, but don't hold your breath. It's coming when it comes. Oh, really? Yeah.
Okay, we'll leave it at that. Yeah. But that is something to be able to get for. In the meantime, we do have two bars that are open.
Sugar run downtown, Kitchener. Let's speak easy. We have lots of events there all the time. Check at Sugar Run bar on Instagram to figure out what's going on.
And then Babylon Sisters, Wine and Spirits in up to 10 Waterloo. Same deal at Babylon Sisters bar on Instagram is where you're going to figure out what's going on there. I think that's about all I got to promote. So this fucking pub gets open.
But we'll see when that happens. And then you'll know what I said. Famously promoting bar number three. It's like one of the tickets on the show.
The best way to get ahold of us is info at the industrypodcast.club. Or you can DM us on Instagram at the industry podcast or the artwork is provided by the great Zacana at Zacana.co for all your graphic arts needs. Subscribing, rating, reviewing. That's the best way to help us out.
If you like what we're doing on the show, shoot us a five-star review. It helps with however these fucking logistics work. I don't understand it. You're the engineer.
Do you understand it? No, you just got to know someone. Sorry. We're all at the same with everything else.
Do you know anybody in the fire department in Cambridge? No, I don't know anymore. That's the top working for the city. As we discussed before recorded, I'm not sure this guy made a tried solicitor breath for me.
But I haven't figured it out yet. This might I'm almost willing to pay it. So we'll see. Okay.
That's enough about anything else we got to discuss before we get to it here? Guys, you don't got to be smart to say. Okay. That's normal.
We'll just get right to our guests. Michael Anderson joining us for an in-person interview. We haven't had one of these in a while. So how's it going Mike?
Yeah, I appreciate you having me. I know we talked a couple times about doing this. And we'll make it happen. I was trying to figure out earlier today how long I've known you.
But it's been quite a few years now. I still was... It's going to be nine years I think. We started selling wine 2014, something like that.
Yeah, that's how I met you. You were selling me wine for my first bar. And then we went to a bunch of wine tastings together. We ran into each other a bunch of them at least.
Yeah, it's last great. I do have that memory of you. It's not quite the clean cuts and polished version you are now. It was like a show of...
We went to Toronto. I think it was in the... You have tea, heart-host or something. It was an epic Italian...
Yeah. I remember we had Miller with us to drive us around because... Yeah. I did the first one.
I was like, where do I do another one of these? I'm like, all right. Well, I'm just on board. I don't remember the second one.
Perfect. Okay. So now what you're doing is you stopped selling wine a long time ago. Basically because you're probably too fucking busy with your day job now.
Tea job and three kids. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to have it all.
Exactly. How old are you, Kizna? One and a half, four and six. Three boys, all little beasts.
They're super fun. That's good. They're fun because that's not going to work to me. It's not bitching about the fire department.
It's not bad. But your current role is as restaurant director of Alora Mel, which you may not be surprised to hear is Alora. And that is under the... At least I'm not surprised.
What's the pearl house with how they grew up? Yeah, the pearl house valley. So I've been with Pearl for nine years now. Yeah, good group.
I started the Cambridge Mel for a while and was serving there for a long time. And the rumor was like, oh yeah, the real thing. I guess we always come in and ask when Alora opens, and I was like, that's never gonna happen. Yeah.
I was like, I hate your project that they put together before they finally hit between purchase and open. But yeah, when they were starting to get close to that finish line of opening, I was... They offered the small A role, which was kind of exciting. And it was kind of a big task, but I've somehow filled my way upwards.
Yeah, so you started small A and then you were like, what? Our director? Restaurant manager? And then quickly restaurant manager because it has opens go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hard. And yeah, sometimes you don't have the right people. It takes a little while, so...
Right. That's fair. A little, in fact, I got married at the Alora Mel, and Dan here was the best man. I was.
That's cute. So then here we are, so on episode 152 of this bullshit. I'm 52. I think I'm the last Alora Mel employee to make it.
It might be. I figured I could get on there before he was like... My staff is lapping me before someone came on a second. Yeah, exactly.
I could get on here. Yes, and also Rick was a sponsor for a while for the show as well. For the game for a while. The old Baron Shelley.
So let's talk a little bit about what's going on with Pearl Group. They have Cambridge Mel and Alora Mel. And I heard that maybe another spot coming soon? Well, they have at least 10 spots.
They start with the Inkaster Mel. Cambridge Mel, Whistle Bear Golf Course. I feel like it's four bread bars at this point. It's a one in Guelph to Inhaleton, one that's in the Pearl Hotel.
The Pearl Hotel, which includes Isabelle Restaurant, Spencer's in Burlington. I think that's it. That's enough. Yeah, that's a lot.
Three Mel's, four bread bars at Golf Course. A couple of spots. So we were just recently before a podcast recording. We had one that was the deal.
They were somewhere where we had to do a time delay from when we normally record. They were from Calgary or somewhere like that. Anyway. Yeah, Rob Luey?
Yeah. But we went to the Mel before that for this industry night. Which, so talk to us a little bit about that. That was awesome.
Yeah, I think we had a couple of different reasons. The industry over the last three-ish years of really taking it. Taving on the nose. Yeah.
So we were just trying to figure out, like, hey, how do we get some interesting people out? Now, there's a great opportunity to check out Alora. I know we're known as somewhat pricey on occasion, but I think if you go anywhere, they say, I don't know what to do. I went to use the board of costumes for 100 bucks other days.
Yeah. I think anywhere you go is a bit pricey at this point, but we have that reputation. So we felt like we wanted to do something nice. We think it was our fourth or fifth one at this time.
It's usually incredibly free or incredibly inexpensive. And we'll do a couple more. This past month, we did a whole industry promotion where it was 50% off all food and your hotel stay. So we're just trying to share a lot of it, trying to get some people in, but I don't think things seriously, like, we do.
Yeah. Well, it was awesome. We had a great time, though. Yeah.
Well, we just got a reclet to set up. So we wanted to show that off, I guess. Yeah. It was a good news for not a restaurant.
The floor is ceiling windows. It's pretty wild. It's awesome. It's like a plate.
She just came at five o'clock and the sun's full on. It was like, how the windows are dirty? I can't believe you guys. I was like, I'm not sure how much you can't get those windows.
We do it often, but, Jesus. It's something to repel over the end. Whatever grace we had, coming out of COVID, people are all, 100% know what you're supposed to do anymore. Yeah.
There's no grace. It's like, anybody's back open. They're all fine. Yeah.
No grace. No understanding. That's just how much struggle's been. Yeah.
But people back, get them up and running to make sure they're okay. They're good staff. Yeah. Like, everything is tough.
And I certainly found that it's still so concentrated on the weekends. Like, the week nights are not, they're not back to what they used to be. It's just Friday, Saturday night. You could try and make all your money on those days.
And then it's like, well, I didn't really want to own a nightclub. If you're doing numbers, you'd almost start the week Friday. So you start off at a high. Yeah.
And then the rest of the week you slowly watch it here. Yeah. Your profits go. Exactly.
Instead of starting in a hole and hoping that you make it up at the end of the week. I know. I'm looking forward to the days where it makes sense to be open more days of the week again. But like right now, like the early days of the week, it's like, you guys have a hotel there.
So it's a little bit there. Yeah. We're in service, or three services seven days all year round. Cool.
So it's super tricky for us because you just need that many people to operate. Right. So we can operate now. We do 50 or we do 80.
We still need the same amount of people to do 50. Right. Just because of this now. It's one of those tricky parts.
But so you and you were talking earlier about all the people from a lower mill who have actually been on the show. But like part of that is that they're sticking around. Like you've had a pretty. Yeah.
We're really funny because they're coming out of the go with a lot of people. How's staffing for you? How was it last year? We've been really lucky.
Like, you know, we did have its benefits as far as what we were trying to accomplish there. At least what our goal has been the whole time is to have a more sustainable serving staff. Right. So we've been incredibly fortunate.
We still have a number of people out there at the open. And then last year we had everybody brought somebody. All right. So it was all referrals.
It was all, you know, like it's a great way. So we don't necessarily have to advertise anymore. And now we're starting to get some really impressive people really skilled and talented people that are reaching out to us directly saying, okay, like I'm moving back to the area. I've heard what you do.
I've heard what you do. I want to come work there. That's good. So test that you guys are doing it right.
First and foremost people are service want to make money. They're doing other things good. But also like they're doing cool things that they can, like a job they can be proud of especially as you get older in this industry. Like you get to a point where you're like, yeah, I could go work at fucking Kentucky and make 400 bucks a night.
I would also want to take a bath with a hair dryer at the end of every night. So that's kind of it. So we, you know, a couple of things we changed coming up with is trying to be really consistent with our scheduling. So people, you know, hey, they work with the same people.
So they work the same shifts. They can make plans for their life. They can go see a dentist. They can, you know, see the family on occasion, right?
Like that was a big thing that we wanted. We're trying to commit to four days a week. So they have a better life. So they make 400 one day but you cut the decks or you cut the decks.
We literally had one server do that where he just wasn't, he just can get his head wrapped around what we're doing. Right. Long time like my age, long times I worked with him a long time. And he just couldn't, you know, he was just stuck.
He was just stuck mentally. He left. And then two months later he was like, I have made a huge mistake. And so we're starting to see that.
The other part is we got a number of people come back. That's good. So I hit like I miss this place. I'm like what you guys are doing.
So, yeah, I don't know if you, kind of the best example I can give is Dan Barber has this really excellent TED talk about the Sustainable FWA. Right. One best one. Like the pre-gens roll upsets and he doesn't do it without force meeting.
Like with force meeting, he just sets up this amazing. I saw that one. Yeah, it was great. It was most amazing.
His stuff is very line with what we like doing. But I love this example because he just creates this idyllic area. And so you have, you have geese that are on this farm calling out to wild yeast and say, come down. It's so good here.
Right. And they just plants all the things and flavors that live, you know, live, live, or naturally. And he just creates this utopia and that's kind of our goal and not everybody doesn't love it because everybody's, unfortunately, gets in their own way. But that's really our goal is to create this plot that, you know, the staff's taken care of that we've considered all these things that we, you know, that we have a good team.
I've also changed my hiring practices. I tend to only hire nice people now. That's it. You can have the best resume, but if I can't sit with you for 10 minutes and like, you know, not necessarily have a drink, but like literally just have a conversation for 10 minutes.
I don't, if I don't have a good feeling at the end of that, that's it. That's over. It doesn't matter whether it's me. Yeah.
Because I've been fooled a bunch of times. Like, you just start, you just sit down with them and be like, I think I like to speak great fit. They have tons of potential. They have a great resume.
But I just had that question mark on my stomach and burned every time. Yeah. So we know we work with team apps here. And if they're kind, they will treat their teammates with kindness.
And that's the point. And then we can teach them the rest of stuff. I don't like all that. We're supported in such a way.
Like we have Captain Roll. We have all these, you know, it's kind of insulated. You're not well west. Right?
Service. Right? You're the host and the bartender in the, you know, it's where we're well staffed for that. Well staffed.
And everybody, it's like when you have a tip share program and it's like, it makes sense for everyone to help each other out. Exactly. Well, and because you're on a tip pool, we do a staggered point system. Right?
So the person at the lower end wants to get up. Right? So there's incentive. Now that, but since you're pooling, there's incentive for the rest of the team to get you better.
Right? There's an investment there. Like, why don't you just succeed? Right.
And again, not every way is going to buy into that and some other thing. But it's really what we're doing. Explain how that works a little bit more for me. I'm not sure I quite get it.
What do you mean by that? So, so we're trying to figure out a way to acknowledge the people that have been there already. Right? Right?
And the rest were teased and their, you know, their experience. You can't have someone new come in and make the same amount. Right? So, you know, the first thing that's happening is that you're going to be a server comes in and makes one point.
Right? A new server would make 0.8. Okay. Okay.
And then they worked a 0.9. And then they, so I think so there is a paying your dues of sort which I think makes sense. You know, you always happen in the service entry. Normally you just get the shittier section.
It's not always that but just not in such a like laid out way. Yeah. This is way better because just getting the shittier section, like you could be the whole time like what the fuck am I doing wrong? Exactly.
Right? Yeah. So, you know, with the next two things, you can probably think about it. You can think about it.
Yeah. That's right. You can think about it. Yeah.
You're not working. You're not working. You're not working. Yeah.
Yeah. So, just a little bit about how you create that sort of environment there where people when they're leaving they're feeling good about it. Well, I think the coolest part, you know, and obviously, you know, it might just be because of how long I've been to the industry and I'm not at a, you know, not at a band, but older for sure. The conversation has changed.
change, like 10 years ago, it was like, okay, we're going to get fucked up. And now it's like, hey, are you doing breath work? And are you like, are you, are you doing the cold plunge to, to work on your fight or flight response? And like, you know, conversation would be a lot of mushrooms.
Anything that is going to, you know, make you feel better. But not in a destructive way. Like the service industry is such a, you know, we're filled with addicts. Like anytime you, you know, anytime you take on a job where you don't know how much money you're going to make that day, you're a gambler.
Yeah. I really thought about it that way. But it's like, because I thought it's onto myself. Like, what is it about our industry that attracts this?
Yeah, addicts. We're a dirty to that rush. Yeah. Like, yeah, what does it look like?
So no, 100% we're gamblers. You're not guaranteed money. You don't know what that looks like. You might get cut right like it might rain.
Like, you might be on the patio, like it's, yeah, it's interesting to see the dynamic of the people you get, the people you attract. And I think, you know, acknowledging and bringing to the light makes sense. Like, let's have that conversation. Like, how are you like, for sure, we all have our demons and how are you dealing with them?
All right. And what does that look like? So they were lucky. It's been really great to see that evolution.
Definitely like over my, especially for some people like us who have been in the industry for a long time. Like, how things have changed since when I started when I was 16, to like what we're talking about now when we're talking about people's mental health or like the whole me too situation that's been a great thing for, yeah. Like, if you think back, yeah, the whole industry has just been based on being awful to each other. Yeah.
You know, like, it's a great place where you can go with bitch about stuff, you know, if you want to go and complain, like, it is a safe haven for that. And trying to create a culture that isn't prevalent is the number one job. Yeah. Like the side conversations and negative stuff, it's like, what's important here?
What do you want to do? Like, with your time? Yeah. Right.
If you don't have like, and I've been in trouble a couple of times for saying this, but I believe it, like, you don't have to be here. Right. You know, like life is too short. Yeah.
My goal is that you're happy. Like, yeah, you're saying like, no, like, not the usual way you hear that. Exactly. Like, no, like, what do you want to do?
Yeah. Whether that's here or somewhere else. That's what I want. Right.
Right. Because if you're like, happy here then, and we've done everything possible, maybe it's you. Yeah. Yeah.
I was like, I think that there's these people that have found some job, the job, the job, the job, the job. It's like, you know, it's a point. It's not every fucking restaurant you ever worked on. It's just like the guy who only dates crazy women.
Yeah. Every girl who has is crazy. Absolutely. I do like that.
I had, you know, you see, you have to arrest me. Like, this is a lot of places. Short period of time. Yeah.
I'm willing to bet. Some of those places probably sucked. Yeah. Yeah.
And there's a lot of places that do suck to work out. Like, let's not. We're not at the end of the day. It's like, nobody wants to take a counter to the further on action.
No. And like, essentially the same, no matter where you go. There's different levels of it for sure. But at the end of the day, we're preparing things and bringing them to tables.
Like, I think that was such an eye opening experience for me. Like, going from preparing to Toronto. And we're like, oh, they're exactly fucking same. Yeah.
Like, my mind is like, oh, Toronto's service must be fucking amazing. Yeah. I've been able to share that experience with a couple people where we go to a nice spot and I'm like, look, they're not any better. No, right?
They just, they only might have a little more detail here, but they're not much better. And we can all recognize the ones that we use. Like, holy shit, that girl was really unbelievable at their job. Like, the attention detailed, the knowledge base like that.
Like, you can tell the people who put this skill. It's a skill. Yeah. And I think the one thing that I find, especially now that is harder to find good people, that is the level of them giving a shit.
Like, I, I need them to have a basis of knowledge. Like, you can't be selling like a 400 dollar bottle of champagne and know nothing about champagne. Like, you know, like, you need, we need to give a shit a little. Yeah.
Yeah. That's a tricky part, right? And at the same time, you need, you need them all. Yeah.
Right? Yeah. It's really interesting to try to build a team and figure out, okay, well, we can't have all stars. Right?
Because literally, yeah. Right. So you need some that, and you need some other different levels for sure, and that are always developing. And then you have essentially two groups, right?
You're super consistent performers that aren't looking to, you know, move up. Right? And then the people that are, like, driven that want to be the next supervisor, the next captain, the next manager, right? And sometimes you just need those people who really just want a job while they're going to school.
Absolutely. Yeah. It's fine. Yeah.
It's fine. You're aware of, you're putting them in the right place for what you need them to do, right? It's funny to say that I remember back in the day, I'm not going to say what it was, but there was a very nice restaurant here in Kijer, Waterloo. And the chef owner was like, describing me one night, laid over drinks, like, about how he sees his, his staff as a hockey team.
He's like, you know, you need a defense man or a left wing, this fucking guy, he's off his rocker. I'm going on laughing about it with my friends. And then now it's like, get what he meant. And I love it.
Yeah. Sports psychology stuff. Yeah. Totally my jam.
And that's exactly how I picture it. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.
You need your stars. Yeah. And then you need people around to make, you know, like, put them in good spots. And when you're having this sort of tiered point of system, that really makes a lot of sense of what you're talking about, right?
Because when your stars, just like sports, right? So I say, I pay more. It totally makes sense. That's why I'm the glue guy at work.
That's why I'm the right. How much actually do you make for being glue guy? Not really. Yeah.
I know. Just tell them on Michael's point. Yeah. Yeah.
I like one of the biggest things, like, so now developing new managers and the biggest thing they struggle with is people not caring as much as they care. Right. And like, you can't expect that. Everybody's coming to it with a different story, a different reason for being there.
That's right. So if you think, like, I think, like, for me, and my managers, it's like, well, I can't expect that the care as much as I care. All right. I can expect them to care as much as I can.
Yeah. All right. And try to develop as we go. But you can't have those expectations.
You just see them. They're like crushed. Right. They're disappointed in people like, oh, why is this person giving shit?
Why are they wearing the wrong shoes? Why are they? Yeah. You know, it's like, well, does everybody's ever is a little broken differently?
And some people can't, they can't get it together. And some people, like you say, like, that's not, they're not trying to make a career. This is a job to them. And that's not.
And it took me a while to get my head around that as well. Especially when I moved into, like, the manager and then the ownership is like, why can't you care as much as I want to do? Yeah. I don't care as much as I want to do.
Yeah. And I was like, oh, wait. I think I answered my own question. But it's hard because you're like, oh, I give so much of a shit about how every little thing is, why can't you care a little bit?
But it's not just their level of where they are in their lives, but it's a different personality too, right? To bring out an old, for sure, another sports fucking analysis, we're on the topic tonight. I remember reading the Phil Jackson book and him saying that like, and this is always stuck with me. It's like, you need to treat everyone equally, but you can't treat everyone the same.
And it's just like perfectly true because you need to treat people based on their personality. Like, some people like to be driven. Some people need a softer diet. So like, 100%.
One is interesting because then the story becomes all you don't treat every same. Yeah. It's like, well, I can't. No, exactly.
Yeah. My issue with everybody is different. Right. Like some of it's based on time.
Yeah. Okay. Five years with a number of people. Sure.
You just started. Yeah. I mean, relationships are going to be different. That seems reasonable.
You have a favoritism. Well, maybe or maybe put in the time. Yeah. Right.
But in the time, let's like, relationships develop. They're not the instant. Do you find it? There's an age thing with this as well.
Like where there's like, there's so many times I even, especially talking in this pot where I feel like I'm like, old men yelling at clouds, but like, the, there is this generational thing where the younger generation seem to think it's promised to them before they've earned it a lot. At least that's been my experience. I don't know if you find the same thing, but yeah, I think we're, we're set to the different where there's so many levels that they think see that. They definitely want to not do the work to get the things that they want.
It's interesting. Like the dynamics are really strange as far as like, a younger person coming in and all depends on their level of, you know, offense. But then, like, but then you have kind of my age who's now started the conspiracy theory realm and the, you know, also equally easily offended. So it's very, I don't think it matters.
I understand there's different things and there's definitely different approaches with the different age groups. But I mean, I have really great relationships with, you know, our 24 year old host and as well as our, you know, six year old server. It all depends on the time you put in and being able to get to level where they're at or understand where they're coming from. Trying to get it and the failures are huge.
When you hire someone and you're just like, oh, we don't speak the same language. Yeah, it's brutal. It's hard to go back to the floor. I'm like, yeah, it's brutal.
You say something and then they go straight to HR and say, oh, well, they talk to me this way. I'm like, that's how I talk to everybody, but like, I'm like, you should have just got like, that's the biggest thing that they want to tell. They don't want to have the conversation. The point is the conflict.
Any sort of like, discomfort, that's the big generational part. Yes. They're posting on Reddit right away. They don't.
Yeah. They want to burn you without having that conversation or they're, or they're teaming. Right. Yeah.
We're talking to the team. Right. So I've coached every way saying, listen, you have to give everybody an opportunity to change your paper. You have to have that conversation.
They said something you didn't like. Have that conversation. That shouldn't be crazy. That should not be crazy.
That should be fine. That should be normal. Unless you're uncomfortable, unless it's really outside or like, sure, there are obviously a way to mediate. But the best case now is always give them an opportunity to fix it, because they probably didn't think that they were being an asshole.
Right. Nine times out of ten, most people aren't trying to be an asshole. No. There's that ten times for sure.
But generally people, if it's always being an asshole to you, they probably don't realize that they were. Or there was a reason in their own life why it came out that way, right? There's so many times I was dealing with something. Yeah.
The world where I say something, you know, harsher weight than I really meant to get it across. And then I realized later that it was like, oh, I was being a fucking dick. I wasn't. I was just like, I need this to get done.
And because of shit that was solely based on what was going on in my own existence, it comes across as like a fucking asshole. Like, you know, and like, it's just, that's just human beings. But we've almost created this scenario through social media and posting things online, like rather than mentioning stuff that like, there's no room for conversation. Yeah.
Right. Opinion is fact. I'm offended. Yeah.
So that is real. Yeah. Not that I own my own offense or that. You know, like, there's no, there's no room for a conversation and be like, hey, could we make this better?
Or like, deal with your own shit? Yeah. If you're fed, it may be have a look in the mirror. Right.
What's really upsetting you? And yeah. And I guess, those are the intent. Did that person try to upset you?
Do they really, you know, like, and I came from like the era where it's like, fuck man, you leave your shit at home and you come to work and do your job at work. And then you go home and deal with your shit. And like, that's, that's not, uh, that's not the scenario anymore. Like, then now it's like, we're supposed to deal with your shit while you're at work because you, you graced us with your pleasure of, with your friends at work, right?
But going back to a demo saying what the rest stuff is like, that's the perfect example of what we're talking about because how many times now do you find like a shitty post about your restaurant on one of these websites and they never send anything to you while they were in the dining room. Yeah. Like, that's what it drives me fucking nuts. Like, yeah, especially the little ones.
Right. Like, oh, if you just said something, we go out of our way, like our goal, it's like, I came up with things, um, you know, like a mantra of sorts saying like, no, something for the team to hold on to saying that the guest, you know, our commitment is that the guest leaves having had an exceptional experience. That's it. Everything comes super clear because if you look at that guest, and they're walking on the door and you're like, okay, yeah, you know, you know, you failed.
Like, you know, it has to be an exceptional experience. If it's not, then we need to do something. So that's, it came very clear that we need to take action. Right.
Like, hey, like, they didn't love this or they didn't like this wine. And then like, whatever it is, like, everybody's empowered to make that fix in the moment. They're like, they'll come refine you or another man, right? Oh, can we do this?
Like, whatever it takes. So that's why it's frustrating when they go home and go, oh, this was, why didn't you say something? Because they don't want to be in charge of their own experience. No.
And they don't want the conflict because like, yeah, they'd much rather just post something shitty about you. And you get home. And I'm like, if you, if you said that, I mean, while you were there, like, I know, as an owner, it's like, that's you. It's like, that's me.
I got to stop. I read it. I read probably twice a minute. My wife.
My wife. She runs the battle. She still read them and live and die with them. Like, you can't, it's just that you're going to get them.
It doesn't matter what you do. I used to have, I was for a short period, I was responsible for responding. I was like, I'm not that guy. I'm not the guy for that job.
No. I take it so personally. Yeah. And I know it's stupid.
But it's hard to do. Well, think about how much you've invested in it, right? And then some asshole just comes in and it doesn't say anything to you when you actually had the power to do something about it and then goes home and write something shitty. So it's like, yeah, I can't handle it.
But yeah, that's why it started to go. But like, it goes back to what we're saying about the staff as well. Sorry. So you're breaking up.
Is that like, fix it yourself and fix it in the moment. Like with, you don't need to make it a big deal by going to HR. Like you're a human being, whatever you have a problem with, you're being, and you do have to watch what you say. Like, you're saying the way you speak to people like, sometimes I have to realize like, basically, now when I go to work and I'm talking to my employees, I shut off my personality and just go into robot mode now because I'm so concerned that I'm going to make a joke that they find negative or they don't get my sense of humor because it's dry.
And like, and then it's a massive issue. Out of nowhere. Right? Yeah.
I struggle with that. Because I'm just like, because then where's your joy? Like, I think this role is hard, right? Like, everybody has certain expectations of you and certain expectations of how you need to be.
And there's very little forgiveness and understanding me like, oh, wait, your job's probably hard. Yeah. Like, there's none, like, especially server mentality. It goes straight to, you know, why isn't it's not under the, you know, like you're upsetting my Dave.
Like, the worldviews sometimes are small. Yeah. Right. And it's like, oh, you have nothing going on in your life.
That's right here. And this is your focus and you don't, you know, you don't, this is what you obsess on. Yeah. And there's no kindness.
There's no grace. And there's no one now. Like, I don't know if it's just the way the society, I'm sure it's just a mirror to society. Like everything is like how this has changed in society.
But there is no, like you say, there is no allowance for an error. There's no allowance for somebody to be having a bad day and do or say something shitty or maybe like, like that's not who they are generally. But they fucked up. Like, people fuck up.
It's okay. Like, it's just like, we all need to be like, okay, that person fucked up. They did something that said me. They feel bad about it.
Okay. Like, for sure, somebody does something to do you and then doesn't feel bad about it. Well, that's a different scenario. I guess it's okay.
Like, my biggest struggle is I served for so long. And servers are granted this leeway to like, have meltdowns. Yeah, have a little freak out. Sorry.
Like, there's one guy I worked with a long time ago and he was so dramatic. But he loved it. Like, it was his show, right? Like, he just went behind, like, I think it's like, we're just, or guess, can see you, we just lose this shit.
And we're kind of granted that, you know, they don't call us on it. Right. And I serve way too long. So my biggest role is not having that little freak out that little like, you know, losing their shit in the same, whatever the fuck we want.
Yeah. Yeah. Like, servers were graced with that for so long. I used to do it in the, I just like, it was a classic thing.
The nicer that the table and go to the kitchen and have a meltdown. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah.
Weeding's not that. Yeah. Exactly. It's pretty perfect.