But like Josie's been taking her finger and putting it around my still. So it doesn't stop. It doesn't stop. And I came here as a man to express this to you people because I'm so confused.
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Yeah, we got an interesting day today. I know Mike's a little stressed out. But also, what's new, Mike? You know, you're battling some demons here and there.
You want to talk about it at all? Today's just like a lot. It's just, it's not, you know, I hate complaining. Like, I don't want to sound like I'm complaining or anything like that.
But it's just a lot. You know how it is, like, keeping up with the grind of business, of content, of podcasts, of this and that. Like, I was supposed to shoot some stuff with Banks yesterday, and he ended up just sleeping straight through the fucking day, so I didn't get the content. It's like, that, and just like some stuff that's going on in my relationship, and like, blah, blah, blah, and so forth.
You overworked, Mike? You overstimulated? Oversimulated, yes. Overworked, probably not.
You know, like, I think a lot of us, you know, I speak to myself, but probably everyone spends a little bit too much time doing stuff that doesn't push along, you know, the positives in life, whether it's spending too much time strolling or too much time, you know, gossiping or worrying about drama and that kind of stuff. And I'm, you know, I'm no stranger to that stuff either. But I just bought this book. It's sitting on the table outside.
I believe it was recommended by Joe Rogan. It's called Essentialism. And it kind of has to do with the principles you're describing right now. Check it out.
The discipline, the discipline pursuit of less. Almost like it's the less is more theory. Like, how can you allocate your energy in ways where you're not going to burn out and still be massively effective? And more times than not, more effective than you would be if you spread yourself out.
I know you pride yourself on multitasking and you do that really well. But have you ever tried doing multitasking? One at a time. I honestly try to.
And I've noticed that one of the reasons I've run into issues, even in my relationship, is because I'm always looking at it as a part of multiple other tasks at the same time. Like, I'll be sitting with Amara and we'll be, like, talking about something very important. And she's, like, asking a question. I'm just like, shit, dude, Rogan posted a new pocket.
Hold on, I'm sorry. And honestly, like, and she says it to me. And it's almost like it goes to some part of my mind that just doesn't want to recognize it. It's almost like an addiction.
Do you hear it? Do you hear it? Do you even know what she's saying? Yes.
And then I started to actually clock it. And what I did was I started putting my full attention into conversations as opposed to being distracted. And I noticed how much more fucking effective I was when I was actually paying full attention. That makes sense.
What am I? What, it was six? Like, why do I slash me not get that? No, humans do.
Dude, Josie will talk to me sometimes. And I, this is so bad. Baby, I love you. And, like, I'm working on this.
It's a bad character trait. But she'll be saying things and just literally just be talking at me. Come on. I will be so clocked out.
And I know she's saying things, but my mind is just running at a thousand miles an hour elsewhere. And I feel horrible because it's like, this has actually been a problem in some of my other relationships as well. I just, for people whose mind runs fast, fast, fast, fast, sometimes it's hard to reel it in. And I know you're probably experiencing that as the lover of my best friend, Mike Malak, who does have a hyperactive brain.
No, last week we talked about this. Literally, I'll be trying to talk to him and he doesn't even say, hey, I'm reading something right now. He just acts like I didn't talk at all. I find very, very rude.
And I'm like, hey, did you pick that up from Logan? Because he does it to you. Like, that's not cool. I know.
I swear to God, I'm working on it. It's a horrible character trait. I swear to God, women in the past have complained about this with me. It's not meant to be rude.
It's not meant to be offensive. But like, fuck, you're not going to hear this. Boil down. If what I'm doing, even if it's not true, if what I'm doing in my mind is more important than what's happening.
Because by the way, I can't even register on the scale of importance what you're saying and how important it is because I don't even hear it. We're destined for failure there. If I have a hard time compartmentalizing the significance of the things going on around me, which I think is the core of this problem, and not being able to truly spread myself out. Yeah, I mean, that's exactly what I told him.
It made me feel like anything I have to say is unimportant and he doesn't find me to be important. How many times does this stem from you guys being on your phone? Well, for me, it's actually worse because I wouldn't even be on my phone sometimes, right? I'll just be looking into the distance, thinking about God knows what.
Having some sort of vision in my mind about X, Y, Z. Can I just want to defend you and maybe by default myself here. Sometimes with the amount of time we spend with our significant others, it's almost like that has to happen at some point. Because I spend so much time with her.
So at what point do you find a way to detach without fully detaching? I told him the way that he was handling it is rude by acting like I'm not talking at all. I didn't know you were talking similarly to him. I didn't even fucking know.
I'm on my phone right now. I'll get back to you or you can repeat that one before I'm dying. That's what I say. That's what I say.
So now I do this. I say, baby, I'm downloading something right now. Can you give me two minutes? I'll start giving you my full attention because I want to.
That's how we also ran into a... And that brings up the bigger point in life right now, which is the question about being present and just how much time should we be being present with our lovers and spending time. But we also ran into another little issue this weekend that turned into a bigger issue. And I already know your thoughts on it, but I got invited to a dinner by my friend, Faze Banks and also Tom.
And hold on, let me explain. No, I'm not going to twist it. I'll tell it the right way. And so I got invited to this dinner.
Now, Mara was away. She was in Big Bear with her friends on a girl's trip. And I was like, I really want to see Banks and Tom. And, you know, Banks is the notorious bad boy of YouTube.
He's a bad man, that guy. In a good way. He's like, that's a bad, bad man. He said, no, he has to go to this place called Boa Steakhouse, which is where everybody's going.
It's the new spot. It's the new spot where the paparazzi hangouts with TikTok is going, right? And so I'm about to leave. It's like 20 minutes before I leave.
I got a text message that says, yeah, we're all going to meet there. It's going to be me talking a couple. And I was like, fuck. Fuck.
I know how this story ends. I've seen this movie. I've seen this movie. It doesn't end well for me.
I'm the guy that tries to run from the stream guy. And I said, okay, what's the ratio? Do you know at this point? What's the ratio?
So then I hear the ratio. Oh, no. Not like this. It's one to one, two, three girls, three guys.
And I said, no, hey, guys, I don't want to sound like a fucking vagina. But I can't go to this fucking dinner, dude. Optically, that is a disaster for Big Mike. And she said, Mike, you can't go to that dinner.
And everybody else on the team said, Mike, you can't go to that fucking dinner. And I went to the fucking dinner. I showed up. I showed up.
And I sat there. And there was no foul play. I didn't talk to nobody. It was completely respectful.
You told me it was just you, Todd, and Dave had a business dinner. I didn't say that precisely. I didn't say that it would just be us. I was not very explicit about anything.
We don't know. So you lost some gray areas, Mike. So there was gray areas because I was worried to tell her. Because of we all know Amara's reaction.
Also, let me stick out for you. It was semi-business related. I'm sure there was at least one business conversation involved. Another funny part about this dinner is five feet from Elon Musk.
Oh, shit. I don't know if I'm supposed to say that. Fuck it. We're letting it play.
I don't know if you're supposed to be there. Do we want to piss on Elon? Do you care? I don't care.
This is my podcast. Elon Musk drives. They were there eating dinner. I don't know exactly what's wrong with that.
Wearing full protective legs. Yeah. Okay. And then by the way, we went.
And then I took Amara back two days later. And Quavo and Soedi were there. This Boa Steakhouse was getting everybody out. Yeah.
But it brings up this question. How does that work exactly? It doesn't. Okay.
It doesn't. That's where you made your first mistake. I told you. You know me?
I'm the anti-simp simp. Right. I'm a simp, but I'm also anti-simp. Like my girlfriend wants me to hold her purse in public.
Maybe I'll take it if I'm diving behind the car. Right. Okay. But even I, I said, yo, you can't do that.
You just can't do that. And if you are, a text like, hey, I'm at this dinner. Just a little appreciation text. Hey, I'm at this dinner.
I was told that there wouldn't be three girls here. There are. I can leave if you want. I'd like to not.
I'm not talking to them, but I want to let you know. But you understand why I didn't do that, right? Because it's a classic case of like, when, not if, when she finds out. Here's how when I explained to Banks, he said, listen, obviously this ex-girlfriend, Alyssa, we all know that they weren't always on perfect terms, right?
And he said, dude, I got very used to the scenario of damned if I do, damned if I don't. If I tell the girl I'm going to dinner, there's going to be girls there. She's coming to the fucking restaurant, guns blazing. Who the fuck are these rat fucking horse?
Fuck this bitch. Not with my man, bitch. And if I don't, you would do that. You would have drove from Big Bear or flown.
You would have got a private jet and flown in and been like, who the fuck do you think you are? I'm eating dinner with my man. I know you. I know you.
Okay. And so when she's not that crazy. Was that a ghost in the house? Was that my girlfriend?
But yes, you're absolutely right. I told her afterwards. I said, yo, listen, I shouldn't, I shouldn't have gone. I shouldn't have gone.
I dropped the ball. I'm very fucking sorry. Because honestly, like optically, that's a disaster. You got three guys, you got three girls.
And it was. Oh no. Who did? My boyfriend.
I'm ready for this. The bill comes. The bill comes. It was a thousand bucks.
And two cards are in it. And the thing gets past me. And I'm like, I'm either going to look like a cheap fuck or. Oh yeah.
Like for all of it? No. Imagine I itemized. Amara, you want me to itemize.
Can I please see what everyone ate? And I will give you up a third of only the most first. On paper, technically that works, but that can't happen in real life. She is.
She's FaceTiming. I'm a refund. I'm that serious. That's made through Venmo probably, yeah?
Or ban your labor. Like really come over and cut your grass. Apple. So yeah.
So anyways, that was a little bit stressful. It was just a learning experience. Like just, you know. Maybe listen to your squad mates?
Yeah, 100%. When does Big Mike need his own Big Mike? Like you're Logan's Mike, but when does Mike get his own Mike? No, no.
It's going to be me. It's going to be me. I will become Big Logan. And be Big Mike's Big Mike.
But he is already. It's just you, you know. You just didn't listen to him. I see, I see.
But you're in your squad. I just didn't see. I just didn't see the fucking issue. I was like, I'm not.
I don't care. Like the thing about it is like girls act or certain girls act. Like you give a fuck that there's three girls. I didn't even care that there were three girls at the table.
I was just there to be my homies, bro. Were they hot? Oh yeah. You're going to get me to answer.
I will answer that question. They were fucking busted, bro. They were busted, bro. Do you want to hear?
No, I don't want to hear. But I first said, they were like, okay. They look like they're in Oklahoma. They're okay.
It's Oklahoma. Oh my God. All right. So anyway, sorry.
That was just a story. All right, so say you're at that restaurant. Yeah, yeah. And then you go to the bathroom to wash your hands.
Do you wet your hands first and then put soap on? Or do you put soap on first? 1,000%. I have always had trouble with the soap first people.
I'm so sorry. Me too. Me too. Okay.
Those are the same people that put the milk in the bowl before the cereal. You sick fox. You sick fox. You put a little water on your hands.
You do soap first. But I'm just saying, that doesn't mean, it does not equate to people putting milk in the Who in this room does soap first? Danny does. Wrap that contract.
How are you going to turn the water on if you've got soap on your hands and you're getting soap on the thing? You can water on and then you can kind of soap in the soap water. Guys, guys, you tell me the, the, uh. What's your perfect order of operations on this one?
It's water, soap, water. The consistency of soap on a dry palm makes no sense to me. You're playing with fire. And soap.
No, see, no, no. With the toothbrush, I'll go straight up, paste, wet it, mouth. Oh, see, I use the soap in it. What do you do?
Water, toothpaste. So no water on the toothpaste, then. Here's what, here's where I think these people mess up. They had moms that put the bubble bath substance into the empty tub before the water was in it.
Look, you understand? Yeah, exactly. You were genetically like the genetic cheese-its. You were destined for failure.
Like, my mom would run a bath, make sure the water was at the right temperature, and then start to throw in some of that bubble bath. For sure. Right under the faucet so it doesn't work. Yeah, so bubbles off.
What about bathroom attendants? Oh, the people who stand there and hand you the towels? What are we supposed to do? I didn't ask you to do that.
We could have this conversation for hours. For a decade. It's tricky. Why?
Are they there? To attend you. To make sure you're not- No, it's not. No, it's not.
Do you want to know why bathroom attendants are there? Give me minutes. No. To make you feel bad about the fact that you don't have any singles on you.
The only fucking reason. Only reason. You think it's to make you feel more luxurious about the restaurant you're at and make your experience better. It is to shame you about the fact that you do not carry cash in the digital lab.
That is the only reason. How many times one of those guys handed you a Starburst? And you're just like, oh. I've never handed a Starburst.
You want a Starburst or a mint or something like that and you're going to hand it to you and you're almost like, yo. That's candy with strangers, bro. What are you trying to do here? You think I'm just going to- Well, that's what they- They're built for that.
I haven't met a bathroom attendant who isn't like the dopest dude ever. Like, bro, they have to vet these people to be like extremely likable guys. It's harder to get a job being a bathroom attendant than it is to get into Harvard. It's roofing.
It's roofing. I can't deny these people. And I never have singles. I'm a fucking millennial, dude.
I barely have Apple Pay, but I got a demo if you want to get a demo. But like, sometimes I'll be having a great night. I go and I can't tip the bathroom guy and I know I need a mint because I just had like garlic, but I can't or floss even. I become obsessed with flossing my teeth.
Like, why are they there? But like how many times you bought cologne in the bathroom or like a whole- People do that. Like new white t-shirt. People do that.
So how many times you spill on your shirt at dinner? It happens all the time. I guess. Unless you do the napkin stuff.
You ever worn a napkin in your shirt like that? That's what it's Toronto? Yeah. I have.
It's a professional. They know what bathroom it's. Everybody, whether it's a graduation dinner, but you've been to something. Also, what's it like to be in there?
I don't like to be in a public bathroom for a long period of time anyway, but like they work in the room. They work there. They can do anything too. Do you know that if I ever needed someone offed, I would go to one of the bathroom attendants.
Absolutely. Do you know? There's no one I would go to for a trick. No, absolutely not.
It's definitely a great movie. Jack Colbert, yes. The guy that like a bathroom attendant that he's giving you Starburst, but it's actually acid and then you open up the like Alice in Wonderland store. Yes, yes.
But he's also a murderer. Yes. Contract kill 100%. And he'll like iron.
That's why you have to be so qualified. That's why I said it's probably hard to get that job. Because you're also a hitman drug dealer. Yes.
If you give the code word, I'm sure they could slip some blow or some shit. Oh, no. A thousand percent. Hey, whether you're working from home or working on your fitness, you want what you're listening to to be what you're listening to.
Not with your roommates, your neighbors, your significant other. Huh, Mike? But that gets annoying. Not what she's listening to.
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Back to the program. I got a DM from Calix. Calix? I don't know how to say the name.
It's Calix from the assignment squad the other day. Hello, big Mike. Love the night show. The night show.
you and lana i've got some new jays coming out tomorrow and i'm super nervous about how they'll do do you and logan fancy tweeting them or i can give you a 20 discount code for the website why are you laughing they sold out in 83 seconds in 63 seconds so hear me send this picture of him on a phone shoe shoe phone i wish he would have picked it up so i could have had some you fucker and so i responded i'm down for a resuite to support bro like i didn't even think for a second that he was like that there's anything disrespectful about it he goes bro that was harry they tied me up and controlled my twitter harry and anderson gibb oh no and they messaged me on a video and said yo would you and logan be down in support for a 20 discount code and i didn't even think i didn't even think for a second that like i was being tricked or that i was being disrespected so my immediate response like in an effort to always build bridges was of course we'll do that i didn't fucking realize that it was with youtubers you got to be careful always you got to smell the waters if the waters are smelly know that they're smelling yeah 63 seconds he sold out with shoes man and i don't know any other influencers that have done their own shoes yet it was interesting i've never seen it uh i always look you know as a businessman i always look to see uh what type of model has been done especially selling yeah you know so like austin mcroom just launched his juices the silly juice yeah uh and he asked he asked me if i wanted to do a juice collab you know come out with a line of my own juice logan's lime let's call it whatever flavor it would be i said um it's interesting i'd love first to see how your silly juice does because i've never seen a d toc beverage from an influencer i haven't seen that model yet it would be semi-silly juice for me to just jump into this business without knowing what the uh what the actual product moves like yeah direct-to-consumer juice i don't know direct-to-consumer is it direct-to-consumer shoe is it a nike collab i don't know i don't believe so but once again i'm completely uneducated on the topic that i brought up on our show and i don't have an answer for that but i think it was no i think he designed it and found a partner for him to have his own shoe then why he said jordan's i think that was just harry being an asshole like just like really just like yeah i'm gonna find out shoes are tricky shoes are tricky you see ones of all talking shit about his own shoe they weren't ready they weren't ready he was playing him because he wanted to move that's like a high performance shoe how long does it take to actually make that this is his brand shoes are difficult they wear in terms above all apparel athleisure clothing accessories shoes are the most worn and torn so you gotta make sure that they're eight by the time you release them no two ways no there's no side name i was gonna say not always i know i know no but i like the name too season one exuberance shop it's sold out it's cool you know i mean i'm sure he's got his product testing he said he said he's been planning for eight months just shoes fall the fuck apart a lot of people are disappointed when they receive uh the influencer's product especially with merch merch probably falls apart your clothes get worn they shrink to dry or whatever it is and uh that's why i'm so proud of yeah but uh yeah shout out cow so this guy had a lot of soul why'd you say that why'd you say that i don't know just you know a lot of you know he clearly is uh getting laced up those roll off the tongue don't they oh you'd easily know how to make a dog heel ah i see just two puns it's fine it's fine so so like it's fine but like josie's been uh taking her finger and putting it around my uh butthole still so it doesn't stop it doesn't stop and i came here as a man to express this to you people because i'm so confused a wife i've made it so clear and i've been so explicit about the fact she needs to stop because i don't like it i don't like it do you do this to mike so josie if you're watching this the way to get the closest i've ever gotten to mike's level like actually getting inside of it is you have to promise a blowjob while you do it and then you're doing a blowjob casually put your finger halfway inside of it mike let me do the other day that's a lie to be honest tell me half my finger tip was inside of it get out of here get out of here she calls it a rusty trombone but i don't do the insertion listen there's not a guy out there right now there's not a guy out there right now who won't admit that if you know a girl ended up exploring the okay you want to explore the region go ahead explore be a fucking be a tourist you want to drill for oil no no no you you keep your your drill day out of the crowd but by what exploring well i'm getting violent good good you know it's no longer exploring i can't trust her i can't tell when she's trying to take for oil she doesn't have the blueprints and schematics thrown up she got no game plan and so yeah dude she starts like you know getting a little aggressive and i noticed like at first i was like stop stop now i'm getting really irritated it's like yo yo back up on the finger just on the finger just on the hand i don't know how to say this but also i'm defending the integrity of my rectum i don't think it's that bad if i'm like yo like i told you stop you need to stop it's getting it's getting to a point where like we're gonna start on hands and the worst part is we really start on hands i'll go i'll go cut the shit and then she'll hit me back harder and i'm like yo like fully squared up my girl i mean you could put that hand away you know you can use that one i do now i do now prostate massage now you're being crazy first off where is the prostate why would i want that massage well i mean scientifically this is supposedly supposed to be true there's a male g-spot there's a prostate a g-spot oh check out the prostate or male g-spot is a small organ that can provide pleasure it is located internally between the base of the penis and the rectum so you have to go in and around that's the most horrifying thing i've ever heard that's the most horrifying thing i've ever heard you really had a lot of spice this show wow here's another cheat code josie if you're watching this i don't think you are um she adds a sound effect that that light that lightens it a little bit so so what i would recommend to you josie is no i mean when she starts no not no not when she's exploring when she tries to go for oil like this she goes she goes oh and that makes me feel a little more like playful about it i know i know you're trying to trick me with your childish undertones with your boop i don't want to fucking that makes me feel like something's gonna pop which like i just picture myself a boop can we do a boop i can't be the only one always comment below i'm gonna put a poll on the screen right here caleb just want this down poll right here did your girlfriend go for go for the sphincter or is it just me and he'll get violent never mind uh there's some big ufc fights this weekend you guys see didn't watch what happened to sean i want to know uh yeah sure sean malley he was uh he is an upcoming prospect in the ufc like one of the most promised uh promising fighters and he just had a bad bout he stumbled over his foot oh some people think it may have been because of the light kick the opponent through but he stumbled over his foot and i bet he broke it or tweaked a pool of muscle something and he basically couldn't put any weight on it in the first round and then he ended up getting tko'd because he was you know fighting on one leg which is almost impossible in the ufc uh but it sucks it sucks because i realize it's about fighting and i hate to say it especially uh because of what happened sean and daniel cormier if you're a fighter you can make or break your legacy in one night in one moment in one moment your entire legacy could be made or broken okay i swear to god i swear to god but let's let's let's hear you out but i swear to the championship like stipe miocic versus daniel cormier sure it's the trilogy yeah if daniel cormier wins he's he's the greatest heavyweight of all time okay if he doesn't win he's the second best in two divisions that's his legacy if stipe wins he's the greatest heavyweight of all time yeah he won stipe will be remembered for a very very long time daniel cormier will as well of course but there's something to the actual victory itself that cannot be taken away yeah i can see that for dc and stipe but i mean sean's like early in his career so how could the one loss on the road to maybe something greater determine his entire legacy i don't think you're saying that but i agree with you know daniel cormier he's an amazing fighter people can remember him as a freaking boss isn't he like a legend in the space regardless sure he is he is but he won't go down as a legend uh he won't go down as one of the most legendary fighters in heavyweight history he just won't like a household name like no i mean yes and no yes and no he'll be he's on the maybe we're getting too specific he's also like a part of usc his commentator that's that's why i think he's i love daniel cormier because of who he is as a person why my heart broke when he lost like he's just a likable awesome articulate guy who commentates for the ufc when he's not fighting the ufc he's awesome he's a well-rounded wrestling coach bro he likes spending time with high schoolers he's not the best wrestlers awesome and seeing this dude just have his title stripped away from him by another man who was a stipe who's incredibly with me completely no i like i played softball with stipe and um we've spoken and he is a firefighter just a standout family guy and in this particular night one of them had to come out victorious and it literally broke my heart because um daniel cornea got his eye poked in like the fourth round and and was blind in his eye for the remainder of the line detached cornea torn cornea yeah and so and so um it just it maybe again once once again realize the significance of what it means to be a professional fighter it is it is one of the craziest careers in the entire world i think fighters are highly underpaid yeah i think the ufc is uh sort of feeling some of the repercussions and consequences of that as the fighters are uh getting a little angsty john jones is out he's no longer fighting the ufc really what it's breaking i don't know but it's who knows why you know maybe because he's not getting paid enough but if you look at the net worth of the top boxer on the planet it is much higher than the net worth of the top mma fighter on the planet and that's connor he's even an outlier who's second best they're not even fucking close to connor not even close maybe maybe going back to the legacy thing maybe the fight game isn't his entire legacy maybe his fight legacy is diminished i'm not even talking about sean uh o'malley just john because he's a great fighter like he really is i'm sure he's gonna make a sick comeback and if that's even what he wants to do but it just it's uh it literally is the most dangerous game that's the chance he's taking you step in that ring you gotta lay it on the line you win you win you lose whatever you're gonna do you do your best right you hope you come out on top but like would you all right let's go super hypothetical you enter the ufc you're a boss now you picked up all the skills you needed you got elbows sharp as blades unlikely you got crazy takedowns all this stuff and you're consistently one of the best but you lose every single fight you know you could beat conor gregor you could be everyone but you lose every single time you're just like technically one of the best but you lose every time who's first best depending on like what other verticals of your life you're doing yeah because you have all the other stuff you've done so your uc career absolutely failed but like your legacy oh me logan paul oh i don't know fuck but i'm a cheat code a lot of fighters yeah i'm a cheat code because i can't do that thing and have a pretty uh stable fallback a lot of fighters don't have time to have a fall that's it if you want to be one of the best fighters in the world you better be dedicating and devoting all of your time to that and what about now we can go back to sean he's got a youtube channel you've seen his stuff i'm sure he's hilarious he's got a million followers on instagram now you've seen his goof around videos because he's hilarious he doesn't take himself so seriously but then again you have to wonder is that why he lost the fight but he's thinking around well not not maybe not dick around he has been hilarious but he has been like smoking and training and doing car wheels and car wheels it's like i guess yeah dick around is the right right word i wish i could add i mean the conversation about legacy i could definitely talk to i mean during the fight i was watching silver lining's playbook so i can't fucking speak about fighting you guys know that i love when you guys riff about fighting but to imagine that your legacy can be decided now fighting i think is the one place where your argument probably stands up at least to an extent that's because that's about like dwayne wade plays at the same time as lebron james everybody knows that that lebron's a fucking go or one of those right but dwayne wade is also a fucking dog and so it's hard and so all these guys these guys will all be remembered but that's a team sport i'm talking specifically about fighting and why it's so close to home is because i am now a fighter i do combat sports i have my whole life and it just is dude i know what it takes to be an actual professional fighter right to get in the ring to do those to do those jogs at 8 p.m until 11 p.m to hit the bag a billion times literally until your fucking fists are twice the size of the normal size because how swollen they are to sit in the ice bath to eat regimented meals every single day to go to physical or sports rehab and physical therapy to make sure your body is ace and then to just not come out with a victory i mean i guess like anecdotally i would know exactly what that's like but again it didn't affect me that way because i have oh god it's okay uh i have a fallback i have a podcast by the way that i'm very good at if somebody comes to navigating equipment wow but shout out to the fucking fighters they do i pay more pay more you guys see the uh usps locking up all them boxes i'm not talking about it it's got political fucking underdog can't do it can't do you know what else i couldn't do i'll tell you okay we got two minutes day comes up and she goes she goes logan ever since kong died there's been a lot of squirrels running around the backyard you guys remember kong oh yeah great they wanted me to tell you that they said hi to you and kong oh cool hi back it's kong probably not because kong got uh pretty savagely eaten by a trespassing coyote who out my fence and kidnapped him i still can't believe we had to watch that video anyways go ahead too many squirrels dramatic too many squirrels because kong's sole mission was to scare off the squirrels we always make fun of him because we never knew what he was barking at in the sky turns out we found out because the moment he passed you know there's an infestation of squirrels everywhere stealing our shit they're stealing my things in my room my jewelry they steal it they're trained yeah yeah and they go in they go in sir's cage and like steal his stuff no those are the rats those two they live in the vines of the house the point is we got infestation of multiple species and so danny's like you know there's a lot of squirrels and by the way there's one over there on the top of the pool and i'm like the ohio boy of me goes that's fucking it for this one i'm gonna do this i'm gonna i'm gonna take this squirrel's life i'm gonna do it i did in ohio my squirrels would infest and take the nuts and seeds from my poor mother's bird feeder and i had a blowgun at the time in ohio yes a blowgun you'd stick darts in and you go and oh wait you hunt for prey you remember that yeah try to get in california they are illegal in california for some reason blowguns are illegal in california that's why logan moves to taxes by the way so like you know uh uh taking the life of uh a invasive squirrel is something i've done before and you know this was like 15 years ago but i thought it was in me so i go and i get my bow you know what's about to happen you know i pull my bow back i'm looking at the squirrel no it's not a it's not a tree it's on a tree like this oh it's waiting for you literally the easiest target to hit if i hit it it just stuck to the tree there's no uh retrieval it's just right like make it easier for me god and so i pull back and i look at this one i take my deep breath it's in my sights finger on the trainer i couldn't do it i could not do it something inside me and i know this is so dumb for like half the people listening like obviously we're killing an innocent squirrel coming from a dude who was like born and raised in ohio to be this like manly man like hunter gatherer for your family we wouldn't eat the squirrel i don't just like kill for pleasure but uh yes we would if you're in middle america or flyover state like you know what i'm saying like hunting is for some people a part of life and i guess i was sort of surprised and glad to say that uh la and this life path that i've chosen has has changed me we talked about hollywood has changed me we talked about right after because you came up to me and you're like i talked about something and i love when i say that because i'm always like curious as to what it's gonna be and you know you're like i had a squirrel dead in my sights outside mike And I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. You were slightly saddened. And also, I think you were questioning, you know, your manhood a little bit as a result of it for that quick second.
And I told you that your decrease in ability to take a small defenseless, unable to harm anyone's, you know, species life, a little squirrel, was based on your increase in empathy for others because of the things that you've gone through over the past couple years. And I think I've talked about it on here before. Maybe not. But I thoroughly believe that empathy is birthed entirely out of life experience.
I do not believe that anyone who has never gone through trauma can then understand trauma in others. I believe you have to go through your own pitfalls, shortcomings, traumatic experiences in life to then be able to relate and understand what someone else's pitfall or trials and tribulations in life feels like. Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk. Not everyone.
Not everyone. I truly believe that the biggest empaths in this world are the ones that have gone through personal stress. Sure. I'll agree with you there.
It's not necessary. We all know that like one girl from high school who was just a fucking saint. Well, you never know. Yes, but you know, she could have.
You're right. You're also right. She could have. We don't know, right?
But I thoroughly believe that, let's put it this way, that trauma breeds empathy, right? And so in that moment, when you saw that swirl and you looked in his eyes, the fear you saw in his eyes, he saw the sun glaring on that sniper scope. He like war zone, the bow and arrow sniper scope, he knew. And the fear you saw in his eyes was the fear you felt after that trying day and, you know, some odd year ago.
You might be reaching. No, I'm serious. I thoroughly believe that your trauma has made it possible for you to connect with the trauma of others. I do thoroughly believe that.
And that is why I am so good at understanding other. You know why doesn't someone telling me their story makes me tear up? Sure. Like when someone tells me a story about something they've gone through, I literally start to feel my eyes start to well, because I'm like, damn, I remember what it felt like to be lost, beaten down and out to a point where I didn't want to exist anymore.
You know what I'm saying? And like, why are you waving at me? I was just going to say, that's funny, because whenever I was crying yesterday, you said you needed space because you don't want to listen to me cry. You were crying because you said you were ugly.
You said, Amara, Amara, are you fucking stupid? That's way dumb. You are the hottest, one of the most beautiful, I tell you, the hottest girl on earth. Now you're going to try to make me feel bad about it, and you have, and I'm going to cry.
Oh no. But like, it's like, it's like me going up to you and being like, oh, I can't live life as the short of a person anymore. I can't do it. No boobie.
No boobie. What you're saying, what you're saying is cool and accurate, and I like it. But why this is, why this is maybe sort of, uh, emblematic and significant in my life is because it's like a definite sign of change. You know, it's like, oh, for the past three years, it's like, I thought I was changing and growing and maturing and evolving.
Turns out I am. Even then, for all my hunters out there, take this with a grain of salt. Like you got to understand, like I used to be one of you, but I can like confidently say now, I'm not so enthusiastic about hunting. Is that because you don't have time to do it anymore?
You just spend a lot of time doing it. No, I'm talking even about just like the sport. Yeah. Like you wouldn't go trophy hunting, would you?
No. Okay. You also, you love wildlife and animals. Like you have a ton of animals at the house.
You're literally wild animals. Yeah, true. But there are some animals that will fucking decimate. Bro, if I see a coyote and he, and me and him are for some reason like in a wrestling arena, like I'm going to remake and choke that motherfucker.
Yeah, violently too. Like a whole bunch of like shits. Right. But like, but like, like, because there's a retribution that needs to happen.
Exactly. Exactly. But like, but like hunting for a sport, I think, let me, let me put that asterisk on there. I don't know.
Even then like, uh, I don't know how I stumbled across this video a couple months ago. Like, um, some people, I'll come think it was like a compilation of elk hunting. I don't know if y'all ever seen these videos, but when these elk get like shot by like arrows and bullets, they're like, you know, it's fucking violent. Yeah.
What do you mean? I know, I know it sounds so dumb, but this is like your whole life. You were taught and bred to do and be this certain thing. And then you get out of that facade and that like mirage you've been living in and you start to become your own person, not influenced by the thoughts of the people who raised you.
And you're like, hold on, I guess it's kind of fucked up. Yeah. What are we doing here? That's not part of the reason why I'm vegetarian.
Just like the concept of killing an animal to eat it. It's just not for me. And you go the full way with it, which I respect a lot because not only, you know, like you don't, you don't want to deal in the death of animals in any way, shape or form. Right.
Yeah. I'm definitely not a hunter. However, I will say this. I think this is like maybe one of the times where I would be interested.
Like I love ritualistic, um, practices of like, no, the Americans or something where there's like, like a yearly experience where they're going out to like create some sort of serra. Let me tell you something. You eat every part of the animal and you take the skin and you tan it and do all that stuff. If for some reason there was, I was in a place where there was, um, an animal hunt where it was very natural and it was for the need of the village or the people or whatever it was, I might partake because it seems, um, it seems like there's meaning to it beyond just like, let's load up this cattle farm.
Ritualistic. Yeah, sure. Sure. I totally agree with you.
It's like, I mean, just thinking about this, like some animals for me are harder, a harder hurdle to jump than others. Like elk is like a big, beautiful creature. Absolutely. It's tough to see an elk die.
Like yo, a rabbit, like I'll say, fuck rabbits. I'm on the opposite end of this. Like if I see the little guy hopping, and then I see like a giant elk, it's just like, bro, I don't know. You know, like, dude, there's such an intelligence difference, like not to like level animals, but you know that an elk is more capable than a small rabbit.
You ever seen a rabbit hop up a tree? No, I actually haven't either. Because rabbits reproduce like rabbits. Yeah, I'm going to stick with whoever's fucking the most.
Like your population can spare you one less rabbit, like, and for some reason we're rabbit hunting. We're a lot of hunting, boy. Now we're fun. Yeah.
Maybe, maybe. I don't know. It's just, uh, you know, it's interesting. If you're hunting for sport and you're trying to hunt lions and tigers and elephants and, you know, like all those exotic animals, like, fuck you, fuck you a lot.
Like, fuck you, fuck you in a lot of ways. I just like being, I just like being blissfully ignorant to the fact that an animal has to die from my cheeseburger. That's the difference. That's what causes so much pain in America.
Like when I eat my cheeseburger, bro, like my assumption is that cheeseburger was born as a cheeseburger. Absolutely. Do you know what I'm saying? There's a major distance between you and food.
Like a hundred percent. Like, like there's a machine somewhere, someone pushed a button and a fucking cheeseburger shot on it. That's happening. I'm 3D printing meat.
You know that, right? Yeah. Like eventually you're going to be eating that. What is it made out of?
Probably just synthetic cells that were grown in a lab. They're getting really close on cloning meat cells in labs. I watched a talk in this like five years ago. This guy was like right at the fucking door of being able to take a cell from a cow and grow meat from it.
It's just a little gross though. Like, it's just strange. Why would you want that? Lab meat?
Lab meat. Like beyond meat is already like kind of cute. Lab meat, a little lab meat. It's a little lab meat, you know.
But it's, listen, I went to the fucking zoo the other day and almost started crying. I become soft, bro. I saw giraffes. They were fucking walking through a field and all of a sudden they got stopped by a gate.
What? A giraffe, bro. His neck is longer than a three-story building and it's walking in a little fence. They don't know why that fence is there.
They're born in fucking Africa. There's no fences. Fences are illegal in Africa. But low-key, are you thinking, no, this giraffe's dumb as fuck?
Kind of, but also at the same time, bro. Like their heads are so small compared to the best of their body. It's almost like you would talk. I think about this with our horses, too.
Dude, they're the same experience. Yeah, they just want to be there. Use your brains for a second. They can't, bro.
They were born into it. They were born into a cage or like a fenced-in area and then that's all they do their entire life. Yeah, facts. They're not three horses.
They're not just breaking every single one like Buck and Broncos out here. Like you think you have to live in your house because someone told you you have to stay in your house. You don't have to stay in your house. You can go sleep in a tree tonight if you want, but you're not going to do that.
This reminds me, okay, there was a rain at the ranch, a rainfall. Nice. By the way, I love this. I just put this on.
What is it? It's a barbarian hat I bought from nifeswordsanddaggers.com. I got a bunch of good stuff in there. I love how you put it on right after you told this that you're not capable of killing a sword.
Well, because then I thought about killing a coyote. I was like, I'm definitely aware of this one. Why don't you do it? But there was a rainfall at the ranch and we could see the lightning coming this weekend.
And Josie was like, yo, didn't we just read that story about how some, the same dude that struck by lightning 11 times? You know about these people? Yeah, they're lightning strikers. No, there's like a few people who have been struck by lightning on multiple occasions.
On multiple occasions. So my question is like, at what point is it your fucking fault? Like at what point? Well, I mean, it's got to be something with their, with their makeup.
You know, like they got to have some sort of, you know, metallic. After the third time you got struck by lightning, don't you think you'd go, you know what? I probably shouldn't go outside during a thunderstorm. Something about me and lightning and.
Well, you're also making the assumption that they don't want to get struck. Maybe on the job, maybe on the job, on the job, making sure that there weren't any wolves in the area. But surely upon the seventh time being struck by a fucking bolt of lightning. You think you'd go, hey boss, you know, I've been out here seven times now while it's raining.
I've been nearly killed by electricity from the sky. You think I could sit this one out? Listen here, butthole finger man. Don't kink shame this man for wanting to be a little bit electrified during his.
So that's what I'm saying. He clearly had the desire to stay electrocuted. Just like the giraffes had the desire to stay in the pen. I think these are toxic.
There's a film called Youth Without Youth by Francis Ford Coppola. It has Tim Roth in it. And it's a story about a guy who gets struck by lightning. And it starts to reverse his age.
And he also becomes able to speak Sanskrit and see in different times. Like I said, back to my original statement, I think you are making an assumption that this man does not desire to be struck by lightning. You have to understand that is the hand of God touching you, bro. If you survive that.
Wait, wait, wait. I'm with it. I swear God's on my bucket list. He's struck by lightning and survived.
I'll show you right now. You want to know the fucked up part about it? Yours too? The easiest route to do that is, in fact, the one thing that you aren't willing to do, which is play golf.
You want to get struck by lightning, you play more golf. Getting struck by lightning and playing golf go hand in hand like cheese and tomato butter, dude. Perfect. What the fuck is tomato?
If you play golf, you will get struck by lightning. Hundred percent. I'm not willing to put in that kind of time, man. And it's dangerous.
Think about it. Come on. Golfing or getting struck by lightning? Golfing.
It's hot. I couldn't kill this squirrel. It's hot, dude. It's hot.
I mean, it's hot, bro. Leave it to the sweaty man to get the broken AC room. Got no AC in my room while he was at the ranch. Imagine getting this phone call.
Hey, Logan, it's Mike. I don't talk like that. My AC is broken. Do you think me and Top of Dolphins are on a lot of roads are sleeping in your bed this weekend?
Guess what my response was. Sure thing, man. Just don't fuck in there, please. I don't know if I wouldn't.
And we didn't. Nice. We made the bed. Nah.
We went in the backyard. Where? One of the fold-out chairs by the pool. Carson, what time?
Get the fuck out. We made a sale in that video. What else happened this weekend? I don't know.
That's what I'm trying to do. Aliens? I haven't read my notes. That's from a different show.
Why are people so intrigued by aliens? Who's not supposed to be here? Yeah, we just got like UFO files released and all of a sudden we're just like, no one's talking about aliens? Come on.
Come on. They started a whole new section of like some federal government shit that is supposed to investigate sightings by US military aircraft of aliens. A whole new section. I'm developing a theory on this.
That's why I bring it up. Go for it. I'm developing a theory. Okay, so I asked this.
Why are people so intrigued? Sorry. Sorry. Why are people so intrigued by aliens?
I think it's possible that extraterrestrial life may hold the keys to life itself. The explanation is all we want to know, why are we here? Why am I on this fucking rock? What happens when I die?
What's going to happen in 100 years? What's going to happen in 200 years? When there's super technology, what does it look like that? What does it look like?
What are different species capable of? What is our significance in the universe? Help me understand that. I got one.
Maybe we're the giraffes and Earth is the fence and aliens are the zookeepers. Wow. Wow. There's theories about it.
Think bigger than yourself. Sure. So maybe we're the dumbass giraffes that are sort of locked on this planet, but not really, but for the moment, yes. Yeah.
I mean, rocket ships are us taking our long giraffe legs and just stepping over the tiny little fence. So tiny little fence to go into some sort of little tiny insignificant other planet. But also alien laser battleships are the zookeepers with their lightning sticks that poke us and turn us away and make us go back in the fence land. It's quite possible.
But I came up with some serious questions that I think needs an answer. You want to know the meaning of life? Nope. What happens when aliens do DMT?
Do they see Joe Rogan doing the fucking thing? Probably. Yes. What happens when aliens smoke weed?
But what do our Earth drugs do to different species? What do alien drugs do to us? Do they have alien drugs? How do they fuck?
For sure. How do they fuck? Are they going to fuck us? Are we going to reproduce?