Damn, you're selling the house, huh? Yeah. A lot of memories here. Too many.
Too many to go. What's your favorite? I don't know. There's so many, so many good memories here.
Probably the ramparts. Yeah, that's where mine goes to. Say that. She's ugly.
No, you know, you know what girls, they're like, oh. Natalie, that's Natalie getting scared by David Dober. Who's back? And by the way, so are we.
Welcome back to Paulson, but I'm going to podcast the world back here in Encino. We've been figuring out the staff of the past 30 minutes. Because this rusty is spider webs and cob webs everywhere. We haven't been here for months, literally months.
I went to Floyd Mayweather training camp, and then after, for the past three weeks, I went on a bender to say the least. I'll keep it PG. But there's not a day that hasn't gone by where I have not ingested, jerked off, ingested alcohol into my body, and copious amounts. I can't even drink a cool drink, by the way.
We talk about it. Tell them what you drink. Espresso Martini. How's that not cool?
We talk about it. The way he drinks it, too. It's the coolest drink. It is like, I'm drunk and I'm up.
I was like, what the fuck up? Shut up. Just sipping underneath the table and come up when you're done. I'll stay on by this because David, I die.
The most important drink of the planet. And you see guys trying to be cool with them. But go on with dirty martini, too. They're just all sitting in espresso.
Mark, take the fuck out of here. Call it yourself. It's classy. It's classy.
But we're back here in Encino. I'm not healthy. I'm not healthy. But I have my friends with me.
Mike, you're here. George, you're here. Good to see you. Good to see you, brother.
What are we even saying? I don't know. Lots of talk about TikTok, boxing, non-payments, houses being sold into the ether. This house specifically.
Let's start with this. So I got here to LA yesterday from, so we were in London. Then Italy doing some stuff you guys will find out about soon. And when I arrived back in LA, LAX looked like a fucking war zone.
I've never seen anything like this, dude. I didn't recognize the city. And I had this overwhelming feeling of, wow, moving to Puerto Rico was the right choice. Easy, champ.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I live here, brother. I need to talk so much shit about it.
And I was going to smack in the back of the neck, but I couldn't reach it. It's a problem, man. It's just not like good, this place to be. Let me tell you a quick story that piggyback's off that.
Quickly. I like to ride my bike. I always got a lot of nice places to ride your bike. One of them's Griffith Park.
And that's near my new house. I moved out of this house by the way. I found that out last night. Yeah, I ended up moving out.
Cool. Thanks for having me here. No problem. Yeah.
I'm your whole box. You were a great, great job being a friend. Thanks, man. So I moved to this new house.
Very weird relationship. I go on this bike ride. Griffith Park. Beautiful.
You guys been to Griffith Park before? Griffith Park one more time without finishing up this fucking story. Filled with little picnic areas. There's a train you could ride around with your family.
Horseback riding, hiking. This place is absolutely beautiful. And people go there. They flock by the thousands on the weekends.
All the families go there. They hit the pinata, so on and so forth. I like to ride my bike there. It's very calming.
A lot of kids running around. Just trying to ride my bike. Can I get just about done with my ride? And I'm starting to come back through Griffith Park to head back to the house.
And I see this man on the ground outside one of the camping areas. And it looks like he's trying to strike a rock. Start to start a fire. Start to start a fire.
So this motion. I'm seeing this motion as I ride my bike. And I'm like, he'll get that fire started just about soon enough. He's not trying to strike a rock.
And I got close and I realized it was a naked homeless man furiously masturbating in the middle of the park. Broad daylight. Broad fucking daylight. Going to fucking town on his homeless cock.
And let me explain to you. This wasn't a small dick. This dude had a fucking ballistic missile as a dick. And he's just fucking furiously fucking masturbating.
In the middle of the day. Let me ask you something. Would you do the same? No, no.
How else would you masturbate? You know, like a safe zone. No, but you have to be serious. I don't care necessarily.
I think there's a location made of an issue here. And by the way, what you don't know is that guy's name is Colin. He's a regular at Griffith. In each other.
I'm a guy that's his favorite spot, the masturbate. Everyone knows it. So listen, I get it. People got to get off.
Everybody's got to get off. I get it. But what happened was, so I ride past him. My first thought is, do I suck it?
That was my first thought. And that was the closest one I actually wanted to. Aiden Ross on the next show, by the way. I'm like, do I film this and send it to someone to report it?
Is that how many times do you hang out with porn stars? Like somebody's doing something sexual. I have to get this online. It didn't happen unless it goes to the hugest.
But then I'm like, you know what? This guy's got to do his thing. So I keep riding. And I get about 100 feet further down the street.
And I see a group of kids. And they're also furious now. You're getting jealous. No, George.
They're not. OK. OK. So I get so I'm like, now I got to do something.
And I think to myself, all the shit I gave 6'9". And now I'm going to become a fucking snitch. You went to the cops? So I'm riding.
I'm thinking about this man, jerk. Because I thought about this man, jerk. And I've been off for quite a while after that. And not even because I was disgusted for my own pleasure.
It's okay. So I see this cop in a way. Officer, officer. And he pulls out.
Yeah, what's going on? By the way, you have an opportunity here right now to say something really meaningful and funny. So you're not going to believe me. Exactly.
Just 100 yards east. There's a homeless man. It's calling. But naked.
Not like trying to hide it with a zipper down behind a tree or something. I mean, his clothes are not in sight. They're gone. He left his clothes down at those swimming holes.
He's super homeless. And he's just laying on the ground. Officer, I need you to go check. I just got the same report.
I'm going to finish him off. We're going to check him out. Long story short. Yeah, I'm going to put him in handcuffs.
Long story short, LA's deteriorating. Quickly. Yeah. And he's a homeless man jerking off.
No, that's no. No, because he's embracing it. He's one of many, George. They're on every street corner under every bridge.
Surgeon, oh, swear. There's no hope here anymore. And I recommend you get out as quickly as you can, like I did. In fact, in fact, dude, this is kind of sad.
The reason I'm back here right now is to wrap up, to be honest with you, like I'm really done with the city. The chapter's over. Not the movie. The movie continues.
Wait, are you sell the house? I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with the house when I was in Puerto Rico, but not being back here for a day. It's pretty clear that I don't really have any intentions of coming back. So why would I need a house?
So the answer is it's looking like yes, which is sad. It's sad as fuck. It's even more sad that we just spent $90,000 on a perfectly brand new podcast studio. And I'm leaving like two months later.
Can I get some of that money back? No, fuck. You ever thought about putting Colin in here? Oh.
The guy from Massray in the Park. Yeah. Please don't. We don't want to be homeless anymore.
This house needs to go to a media person, maybe like a rapper. So it's a compound. We got a music studio. I'm like my real estate angel right now.
We got a music studio. We got a gym in the bag. We got a pool. No, it's a beautiful house.
But you know, so many memories were made here. And by the way, dude, security outside all the time now. Because LA has literally gone too dangerous to not have protection at all times. You know, there's goons running around.
Goons running around. Yeah, they're like robbing people. Yeah, robbing people. Our friend Rich.
Yeah. Yeah, to track this car down. And he had security and the security got in the shoot out with the goons. And he took the three, killed one, and injured two more.
I think it was. The security killed one? Yeah. They shot three.
But we just went 24 seven at our house too. And it's not cheap. It's not cheap. Like you're basically getting robbed either way.
Either give the goons the money or you give it to the security company. Because in reality, it's like, I'm talking about $1 million. You're fucking scared. Sucks.
All Protecting Sumerates, but that's it. It's an asset. It's an asset. It's an asset.
For sure. Keep that protected. And by the way, I love how I found out about this on the podcast. I don't even have time to mourn.
Dude, I got home yesterday. And I looked at my house and I likened it to this. Like, you know, when you go to lunch with your ex-girlfriend for the first time in like six months, and you're like, how are things? Like, I was inside of you.
Not a lot. We like basically live inside of you. It was so awkward and so strange. And I was like, Danny, you know, where is everyone?
Oh, Mikey is like moved out. Oh, I kind of figured. Well, at least I could say hi to my German videographer Dave. Nope, Dave moved out too.
Oh, just so you know, on that topic, I'm absorbing everyone. So you have nothing to worry about. No, I know. I gave it.
I put him in the house. Maria the maid. No, no, no, no, no. I'm taking my gold medal goal is to fucking take Danny.
I will put all of my fucking attention on it. No chance. No, no. I read it.
That's what she said. Audience, also audience, listen, I said you not. Her answer was no, but it wasn't even for me. But she doesn't want to work at all right now.
And I was like, I don't know if that's how things go, Danny. Are you retired? Yeah, even my dog, Broly. I was like, I'm gonna come home, get some licks.
You're gonna show me some affection like that. You've been gone for months. You fought for like me with a congrats that I love you. I'm like, Danny, at least I could say how to Broly, right?
She's like, no, Dave took him. It's fine, Broly. I know you're watching this podcast. I got a brand new dog.
Oh, wow. Just like that. No, I miss Broly. He doesn't miss me at all though.
Oh, he's a little stretch. Look at, look at, look at, look at. I did get a brand new puppy. He is a ex-el bully.
And I'm thinking about naming him Quinn. He's a sleep right now. I've had this offer less than 24 hours. I've never loved an animal more in my life.
Maybe Kong. Maybe Kong, but he's everything I want in a puppy. This breed is so good. He's so friendly.
Is he alive, bro? Yeah, he's alive. He's alive. No.
But yeah, he's a cuddler. When I take him outside, because he woke me up last night, five times. No problem. It's puppy camp.
Puppy camp's work. You ever see? Okay, so maybe he's not. Maybe he's not.
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I have bad news for you. For me, but you personally, we don't talk this is bad. This is the fucking bad news. Get me the worst news.
Well, when he's not talking, well, guess what? Your mail still comes to this house and you've been summoned for a deposition. Do you know this? You know this?
You serve your paper. No, no, you get it. Process over. It's like pineapple express.
You serve them papers on the. Do you know what this case is? No, but should I even read this? Is there a chance like ruins my night day or do you know?
No, I mean, you're going to have to show up in court and like do with that position. No, I understand that. But it's something that's like an actually going to upset me. No, look at the name.
I'll show you. Oh, bro. You remember that night? You got you're getting the post, dude.
You're going to you should try to emulate a little way. Yeah. Yeah. This is not way.
This ended years ago or so I thought I'm not going to this. I'm not going to this guy just a guys over at the law office firm. I'm not coming. I'm not showing up for your stupid.
I don't even believe that this is a real case. It happened years ago. Am I if I if I be arrested for this up the show? Should I rip it up?
We're going to poll up in the top right corner of the screen right now. The polls never make it up. I'm sorry. I can't show up to this.
This is my response. I cannot show up for this. I honestly won't be in the country. I'm not fucking kidding.
I'll zoom. I think you capitalize on this. Every good entertainer has a deposition video. Think about it.
Portnoy just came out low lanes is the best ever. You go watch that forever. Yeah. And you kind of you should go there in a hood.
Maybe get a little drunk too and sit back and just don't really know how else it says I'm actually going to be in a different country. I'm going to be in Europe on that day and you're actually going to be with me. Are you coming with me on that trip? Can you tell me right now?
Are you coming with us to Europe last week? You never asked me. You did. Okay.
Let's talk about that for a second because I don't know how much we talk about. But you did do some cool stuff out there. Cool stuff. Well, you can let us know what you can.
I know you're just going to repeat whatever I say right now. Okay. What did you do out with it? I can't say.
What is cool? And stuff. I make all we had festivities. ar lots of lots of lots of stuff.
So Lake Como in Italy is the most beautiful spot on the planet. I'm not even exaggerating. Like there's only 10 days out of the year where the moon becomes like full bro we land on the first day and little Italian people are just leaving their house. I'm small because they're so cute and they come out and they're all playing the song.
No, it goes please play the song. When the moon hits the sky. They're watching the moon come from the mountains. It feels like a movie.
They're playing the song of the whole country. When the moon hits the moon. Like a big pizza. It's a morning.
Sounds like you guys had quite the time out there. So much fun. A lot of fun. But I'm sure I was just as much fun.
I wasn't in LA motherfucker. I was in Cabo. I have to go to Cabo twice a month now. Wait, what?
Hey, hey, that's how you know you made it. I have to go to Cabo. I literally travel for work. What massive massive crypto fucking gambling deal.
Crypto casino deal me, Aiden, Rison and banks. Rice who continues to just start shit with Kiss. I'm going to be honest. It's incredibly responsible.
Do you use a much more trusted source like the part of the sports book? No, no, it's not the same. I already talked to David about. This is a crypto casino.
That's a special. I'm a master of pen gaming. I have to urge everyone listening that if you're going to gamble, go ahead and use a sports book. But any favorite sporting events?
I can't even say. I love how we're actually getting into shit. I have my own sports book deal. I'm barred from saying it on the show.
Which I'm at least so amazing. We're getting really getting into the weeds here, folks. We have to go to Cabo every two weeks to do this deal and that travel coincided with your travel to Europe. So I was unable to go and you guys went and it looked like I saw some pictures today.
You guys were posted up on a bench. Yeah, it was. It reminded me a lot of a picture that I knew on sat on a bench. I remember that picture.
It really made me feel super special. Not many people have a bench photo. They're just a dime a dozen. Everybody's got a bench.
They're even giving fucking George Lopez a bench photo. I don't know your bench, but our bench looks like. Let me explain you. Our bench photo is extremely important as well.
We got in the park watching that you jerk off. That would actually give it. Might as well as down. We might have been actually.
I got a story. Oh, here we go. So the night, I don't know if it was before or after your fight. What was the night that we went to this crypto thing in my four years before?
Oh, the one where I got into a physical altercation with a friend. Oh my God. That was the funniest thing. I got in a fight with his friend, which I fell in love with.
The dude was amazing. I thought they were joking around and they just started swinging at each other. No, that wasn't the story I was actually talking about. So you didn't give any.
No, you're not. It's not my story. You want to fucking drink on me. You want to fucking drink on me because you thought it was funny.
That was funny to me. I didn't find that fucking humorous. But, but, but, here's the best part about this story. You'll love this D money in this altercation, which was with our friend Eddie.
Eddie, if you're watching this, just chill the fuck out. Please. You agree with that? He just gets a little bit of a good drink.
We're at this major crypto party. I mean, with the biggest players in the space, Brock, all these motherfucking billionaire cryptos. And he had a little bit too much of drinking. He punched me in the nuts first.
That's how it started. Then he poured a drink on me and I was like, okay, it was fun while I lasted motherfucker, but I'm going to take a shot now, which I did, which then he pushed me back. And in doing so, he pushed me into one of the hottest girls at the party. You saw that, right?
No, I turned around right when everybody was like drinking. Okay, but I can lie. Yeah, no, no, no, no. She came up to me like five minutes after that.
She was like that physical altercation you got into with your friend. You bumped into me and we started a whole conversation. Oh, that's awesome. That's a fucking incredible blowjob.
Like, what the fuck is best at it? The girl came back with us? No, you didn't meet her. Oh, yeah.
The girl came back in the car. This got made me wait in the fucking Uber for like ever. He goes, I'll be out with one minute. I swear.
15 minutes. Are we, where we go? Come on, let's go. I know he comes with this girl and the girl the whole time was playing music that me and you did not.
It was like Spanish music, but she was like, I know you get a lot of like, or you've gotten porn head. Well, mine's better. And I was like, okay, dude. Why was great?
Fantastic. So that physical altercation, me getting assaulted in front of all those billionaires led me to a crazy show. I got obsessed with the show on to rush. I just got into it.
I know I'm late. But I got into it so much that I do have HBO, but they don't do the streaming where you get downloads. I'm like, fuck it. I'm buying all the seasons, right?
Chuck Liddell did that joke. And I think I talked about it on the show where he pretended to fuck with me, right? So he's scared to live shit out of me. The next day I watch an episode on that where he does that in the show, right?
So I was like, this is the motherfucker doing what he did in the show to me in real life. I said, okay, maybe like this is the whatever. So then I see him and we were talking about laughing about it. And on the way here, I like bought the entourage to watch it to go watch it fight.
I was super into the show. So I'm watching watching watching. And I keep thinking about his entourage the whole day. I'm thinking about entourage and I'm at the party and I see Vinny Chase, the main guy.
Oh, yeah. That's right. That's right. What the fuck?
Like what are the odds? I've never seen the show in my life. I just started watching it. Chuck Liddell just getting the fuck out of me.
Like this is all happening and I'm walking through such fucking confidence and I'm thinking he's going to laugh at this. I grab him like, oh, and he turns around and I immediately go, what the fuck are you doing, Jordan? And I go, oh my God. Oh my God.
Oh my God. And I was like, oh fuck. I was like, fuck. And then this girl looked at me like, do you want me to stop this from happening?
You know that fucking immediately, immediately I'm that weird guy. And I go, okay. So I already opened his eyes are like, what's up? And I'm like, all right, if this isn't the best fucking conversation he's ever had, I'm a fucking loser and I have to leave right now.
I didn't know what to say. So I'm staring at him and now it's been like literally five seconds. I'm not saying anything over thinking with no game plan. Bro, I had a game plan.
I said, tell him like, yo, this is so crazy. Where are you talking about assault in me and he assaulted you? Yes. I dropped the ball.
Dude, but I couldn't get out of my mouth. And I was like, this has never happened to me before. So I go to just fucking beach. I'll just talk about what you're here.
My mind. So I go, you're here for Logan Paul if I right? And he goes, what? And I just go.
My friends fighting Mayweather and I'm here for that. And he goes, cool. And I just go, yeah, love your show man. I walked away and I go, I can't believe I fucking I should kill myself.
I should jump off of this building. Usually those conversations where you approach and make it like a known thing that you like tap them. Don't go well. They don't go away.
Situations got to pimp in the one time, which just went terribly. They don't usually they have to happen organically. Yeah. And I think, no, I've walked up to people knocking.
I get that. But once I, like for example, I when I saw Bieber at the celebrity game, I said, um, I infinously asked him if he was going to Jake Paul's fight that he was the headline performer for. And Martin Addison raised that thinks that's the funny thing. He's still laughing at that.
He's still laughing at that. Which by the way, you know, I don't say all today and everything beeps is doing, but I mean, I should have known that. We have to get better at it because I know you guys probably know this, but we're ending up in some pretty serious rooms lately. We're ending up us, us little social media kids.
I did a fucking live stream of Seth Rogen the other fucking day. You're dick is fucking huge. No, I don't mean it like that. I mean, like I was blown away.
Hey, sir, the papers again. You know what actually can make it to the court case. The Europe travels been canceled. No, but but it was amazing.
I actually got to know I mean it like I got to meet my whole second. I mean, no, it's discount meeting my own. I think it's cool. I think you all have major.
Thank you to Aiden Ross. Well, that was face clean. Face clean. Huh?
I think you surround yourself with the right people Mike. You know when to jump ship and when to pretend to be a passenger and I jumped it just the right time. You really did and you took my whole fucking house. Well, you were selling the house.
What was I going to do? I know and Evan's packing up to that's so sad. Where's he going? I don't know.
We're going on a date tonight. You and Evan. To catch. Justin, catch up or like the rest of the catch up and catch.
Nice. Yeah, absolutely. Hey there another word from our sponsors which are traveling this summer. I think Mike and I can go to Spain in a couple of weeks.
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I got actually another funny slide. Oh, sure. When I came on the way back from Italy, the flight attendant looks at me and she says the one thing I never thought of flight attendant was saying and she goes trick or treat him I right? And I go what the fuck.
How do you respond? Did you just say to me? And I look down and militant on his hands and knees just putting his candy back in the back. I look on the floor.
I swear to god it was the most amount of candy on the ground but I've noticing I've seen this candy before, okay. It was the nuts on the jet. It was the candy from one of the hotel rooms. It was the candy from one of the restaurants I turned and it's just fucking like embarrass me.
He's like come on get home here. I'm so he's scooping it in. What the fuck is the deal here? He puts it, it's like, man, this candy is amazing.
And I look up at the flight attendant and she's just like, what the fuck are you guys doing right now? If you would have seen the amount of candy that was on the ground, I know George, he's my boxing coach. I've seen him. I've seen him.
I know, I know, because all he eats is peanut butter and jelly for every meal. I swear to God and Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper. It's wild.
And he collects candy, what you witness is him collecting candy that he likes and he keeps a big bag of it. He never doesn't have Malteser. I've never seen him drink water. Oh my God.
I've never seen him drink water. I've never seen him drink water. Oh my God. I've never seen him.
Where does the last time you ever seen him do this? I've never. Never. It's always Dr.
Pepper or on a worst, worst day, a different soda. And you know how it's funny? This isn't funny, it's actually kind of sad. He's gonna be funny.
You know what he's eating really bad? When his gout starts acting up. Oh my God. And he starts limping.
He walks around like he's in a thriller, the music video, he's like this. All right, let's do two miles. I go milk, I don't stop eating candy. And by the way, I can't help but get a rouse.
When he eats candy behind me and I don't know who's eating candy, cause the way he devours a fucking, like a slick, anything that you have to shock on, it's like it sounds like you're watching porn. Just behind him. He's not exactly either. You're serious.
Bro, I turn around and go milk, please. Stop. Now he's serious about his candy. So sick.
I don't know how. He's one of those guys, I think that regardless of what he puts in his body. I don't know, I feel like a lot of older, my grandma was like this. She ate like, she smoked like six, seven packs of cigarettes a day and she lives till she was like 85.
And some older folk can abuse their fucking body and just live and walk around like it's no big deal. Grandpa, just drinking. Grandpa, two packs a day. Wild.
I think Mill may have a little bit of that. I mean, the gout thing like, no, my mom was like, we need to stop him. I was like, dude, we need to level up. He needs to break the record.
He's like, he's live long enough. Well, he passed away. So now I guess not that got dark. That's some people.
Can I tell them the best story that I can't wait to talk about? I want to use the bathroom and the doorknob came off. This is going to be really hard to sell this house. There's some issues with that, with that, scurly.
Movie sucks too. Like I'm walking around this house like, oh, that should stay. That should go. And by the way, everything's, all the boxes, miscellaneous.
100%. What the fuck you? Yo, walk into any vloggers house and tell me what it looks like. David Dobrik has a beautiful, it looks like, no, he's selling it.
Like literally the most, like, you know, like, it looks like a tab of acid and like walk around towards our us and just pick the most random shit they could and put him in a video. That's because you, yeah, rid of him. You leave him all over the place. And 90% of stuff you've never even put in the vlogs.
I'm a hoarder dude. You're a hoarder dude. There's honestly shit. All of you.
Any knows better than the whole. I'm a hoarder. Oh, it looks like he. I didn't get that much sale.
He had like a local garage sale. I thought I'd do a cool thing like that, but I'm not as afraid of everyone coming. Just like. What are you doing with these powerizer jumping?
Sales, why does if so many Pokemon toys so many Pokemon toys? Crypto currency has been on a wild ride. The past two days a wild ride. If has been in the core of the earth and is now flying back to flying sky high off several announcements that big investment banks and institutions are going to be long on crypto over the next couple of years.
As you know, a lot of regular old people have capitalized on the crypto trend. And I've been seeing them out. They've been escaping from their multiple computer screen laboratories over the past couple months to spend some of that hard earned Ethereum capital. I went to 11 popular club in Miami after the TikTok fights, which I went to, which you were there.
You fucking went to the TikTok. You went to that event. I did. By the way, great event.
I mean that. You know that I was watching. I was thoroughly entertained. I think they may have spent a little bit too much money on production and we're on our now they can't get fighters, but the event was great.
I can't believe you went to that. It was fantastic. Well, Aiden was working at it. I saw it as an opportunity to shoot some more content.
Also, I thought it would be a good idea to go back to Miami. I've been spending more time with Jeff with tech. He was there. Cool.
Whatever. Right. So we all go out to 11 phase Jarvis as you know, pump the lid shit out of that poor man in the ring shot to phase Jarvis for that thrilling victory. And so we threw this little party afterwards at 11.
It was like two in the morning. Jarvis, of course, is like 12 and couldn't get in. So there was no point of doing it there. We spent all the money and everything, whatever.
Well, you threw a party and then invite him. Currently couldn't come. Yeah, it ended up not working properly. That sounds like an LA thing.