E351 Limited Alphabet

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Welcome to episode 351 of this past weekend. Thank you for being alive at this time. And I'm happy to be alive for the most part and I'm happy to be here with you. That part is definite.

And what's going on, man? I'm dealing with a lot of itchery at the house. I got, you know, I got a bad detergent. And I don't want to call out any shops or mercantiles, but 99 cent store.

You know, y'all give me some, they give me some tide. And it's, I think, tide fresh and easy. I think it's the packaging. Let me be sure that I don't want to send somebody on a bad route here, tide fresh and clean is the item I'm talking about.

And I don't know if they just got a hot batch or something, but it's got, it's got me itching, everything. And at first I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know you could have asked me what's happening. But I don't know, I don't know.

And I was seeing kind of welps around my ankles. You know, and I got a little bit of fat family and sometime a lot of sugar will gather in your ankles down in your blood. You know, ankles just that, that's that hardy swamp knuckle. That's that last hitter.

When you really get down to the ankle, that's really, I mean, damn, that's the Lord's U-turn in each one of your leg is, you know, that's where the stream kind of stops and rebuttals. So a lot of, you know, like I said, I got family that's real, I got a lot of grits in them if you know what I'm saying. And you know, they're real, you know, they're hardy. They're hardy, you crack them up and a couple of hearts in them, man.

You know, they're hard, you know. And so the deal is that a lot of sugar gathers there at that little turnabout, the ankle. So anyway, I'm thinking maybe I'm, you know, I've had some bad chamomile tea or I've had a bad donut or something. You know, maybe I had me a couple, you know, I put a little, you know, I like ribs, I like rib meat and sometime I put a little too much sauce on there.

So really, I'm having sauce and I'm just eating it with a reel. You know, at some point, the entree is the sauce. So I've been there, you know. Sometime at a barbecue, you'll see me sitting at that last, at the last picnic tables and I'm just dipping a bone in a sauce, you know.

I'm just going to straight marrow the mouth honey, you know. I'm just hauling sauce, man. So, so I thought maybe I had too much sugar, I'd had too much barbecue sauce or it was a condiment that was real sweet heavy that was making me have too much sugar in my body, make a Michael's itch. And so I'm trying to adjust my diet and I keep pitching.

And then I saw a spider. And so I said, oh damn, you know, Charlotte's web in this bitch. You know what I'm saying? This, that damn fifth grade reading level is just, you know, causing me to act up.

And then I noticed all my dermis on my legs and I'm kind of the top of my ass earlier. I don't know what that's called at the top here. That's kind of me to your back. That part started getting bumped a little, uh, welts.

I wonder something. I said, what's going on? I thought I was getting bit by spiders so I slept in a different bed. You know, I got me a batch of spider traps off the internet.

And one company I bought from some Chinese company, I finally opened up the spider trap because I was kept pitching day after day. Open up there's nothing in that bitch. So they're selling out here selling fake spider traps out here. Damn Gary Vee out here, whoever it is, out here selling them Frank, you know, them fake ass arachnid apartments.

And, you know, I'm thinking these, they're out here ripping these little climbers and nothing. And there's nothing, you know, open for a month or nothing. I could have lit my fingers after and I'd have been fine. So, so anyway, just a couple of bad purchases.

So finally I realized, well, it's maybe it's a detergent. And when you don't understand it, when your detergent is faulty or whatever, or you're allergic to it, you have an allergen, allergen. When you have allergen, then everything you, you don't realize how many things have touched your detergent. Your socks, paints, pillowcases, sheets, towels.

That was the one that I kept, you know, I dry off, I bought some clothes, I went to Target, bought me a damn batch of hands over there, everything, top to bottom. I mean, damn foot to the front piece, you know, just hand up. I mean, I look like a damn stunt double in a Michael Jordan commercial. You know, I was just hanging in the membrane, baby, you know what I'm saying?

We hanged out. They see me hanging, they hating, you know what I'm saying? I was real hanged up in a, and damn, but you don't realize the towel, when you got to tub your drying yourself with a bad detergent. So anyway, man, I'm in a place right now, I'm having to re-wash everything in my place with some damn non-allergen, you know, real tender detergent, no homo, bro, no, bro, no, nothing, you know, everything's normal one.

So we got the regular detergent now or something soft, soft match, maybe something you could damn, I mean, shit, you give half a cup of this to a damn toddler of that. And he'd be fine, I don't think there's even a medical warning on the back of it. So, you know, I'm upstairs, but I'm damn, I'm itching. I'm itching while I'm up there, I'm still recovering.

I'll include a couple photos and images right here, right now, the welts and just little, you just don't realize how much of your body is a touches detergent. Or when you hook somebody, I dated a gal in college for a little bit, and her name was, I'm not gonna say her name, but it was Vanessa, was her name, and they called her a fan, and I don't, you know, I don't recommend dating women name after all, autos, you know. But anyway, I dated a gal fan and she was a real stocky, she was stocky, you know what I'm saying? She would damn, she could kind of flex and make her breasts real hard if you want, you know what I'm saying?

If you were into that kind of shit. And I guess I don't know if I was into that, but I was, you know, she was willing to date me and so there I was. But anyway, y'all, what I'm trying to tell you is, and I remember when she would hug me, the detergent day you was bad. So I remember after we get done making an hour, doing sex or anything like that, I look like a damn, you know, I look like I just been in a gang bang with a damn pollinator.

You know, and he'd been breathing out the whole time. So, oh, whatever. Anyway, I'm happy to be here today with you. I really am and I'm happy to be alive and I'm happy that you're alive.

And that's where I'm at. So I just wanted to come to you cleanly and let you know where I'm at. Today's episode is brought to you by Grey Block Pizza, 1811 Pico Boulevard on the way to the beach, in Los Angeles. Grey Block, get that hitter.

All right, let's see what we're capable of. Come on, baby. Let's throw back hitter, baby. I'm just sitting on your front porch wondering how could I be so far from home?

Tell him Travis. In my mind and somewhere else, but when I found it, I'll catch up with her. This man. Come on, come on.

Get in there. Now, I'm just going on the breeze and I feel I'm throwing like these leaves on the street. Call the song. Oh, but when I reach that pound, I'll share this piece of...

Come on, now. Let's go, baby. Let's go, baby. Let's go, baby.

So, it's going to kill you a little time. For me to set that parking brake and let myself on my arm. Shine, and I don't mean... Let's play.

I'll sit and kill you, my soul. Really, really, really deep. I can call you. I'll find a song.

I will sing it just for you. And that is Bishop Gunn right there. And that band, they just can't... They couldn't keep it together.

You know, things happen. You know, a band is just a family that has a skill set. And just like family, you know, people get, you know, somebody's huffing gas. Somebody's too big for their britches.

Somebody's too small for their britches. Like my buddy Allen, I grew up with. You know, he could barely fit into a child. You know, he could barely fit into a child's pants.

He's got a brother. What's going on? I'm here, you're here, and we're doing it. We're heading into the fall.

And that's a lie, actually, because August is really that last gas. Maybe it's that fifth round of the summer. It's that, you know, it's that fifth and final round of the summer. What have I been doing?

We had a great episode with John Christ. If you're not familiar, if you're not familiar with John, you know, he's an interesting guy. You know, he talked about growing up in a household day at eight children. I mean, you know, you could run into somebody in a hall and barely remember who they are.

Well, you're Ronald? No, I'm not Ronald. You know, I'm Diana. Well, damn, you know, grow your hair out.

You know, eight people. I mean, it's... And he said they made you take your shoes off at his house when you got there. All fair, he and I were chatting.

And he said they had to take their shoes off at the door. And I'm thinking, well, sometimes you get back to the door and you did, there's damn 16 shoes there. And that's just the children fucking you put on two shoes, any type, you know, you sit in there at church with a damn sandal and a boot on. And you think you did well.

It's just, you could meet somebody that you think is cute or has a traction. You know, visuality really hit your eyes and you like it. And they could be family. And that's something that's just normal.

Some of that's, you get outside of eight, I think anything after seven children, man, I don't, I would never promote incestuality. And I never have, you could look at any chart or any, you know, history log, you could look at my damn Google log. I've never even looked it up. I guarantee you, I would misspell it.

But I think anything outside of after seven kids, man, somebody should be allowed to date. If you got two kids and you're trying to date, that's crazy. You know what I'm saying? You got to, you know, get on the apps or something.

But if you have over seven children and two of them start, you know, at least high five in each other or play in this game a lot, you know, and really, you know, and doing it real heavy or late at night, then I think you got to, you got to let that slide. You know, but what do I know? Anyway, what were we talking about, man? We're not do this weekend.

Well, I just got out of my ice plunge and I've been in there and, you know, I just fell of that one's great block pizza. My friend Thomas, he make ice plunges now. It's a separate company and they send me one of them. And I'll put a video on the clips channel of my first couple of times in there.

And it's real interesting because it makes your body feel, almost makes your body feel like it disappears. It's so chilled out that just your head is awake. You know, you can't really feel a pinch or, you know, a small dog would bite you damn, not a German Shepherd, but like a French Shepherd. You wouldn't even feel it, you know, you just wouldn't have that, you wouldn't know.

It's because your body will chill out. So I've been in that, you know, I've been dealing with the detergent issue. And I'm not, you know, I just will not use the brand anymore time, fresh and easy. It ain't easy, bro, they might be fresh, but it's, you know, it's one for two.

As far as I'm concerned, praise God, by the PTO, you know that. I'm a s***er. I'll tell you this, I'll watch the fight. I'll watch the fight this weekend.

And I'm gonna go on, look, Corey Sandhagen, verse two to Dillishol. And look, these men are both warriors. You know, I am not anything like them. I am, you know, these are first class combatists.

You know, these men have, I mean, you know, I've suffered from a reptile dysfunction. You know, these dudes have, you know, I mean, they're just made out of Viagra, it almost seemed like they'll just, I mean, oh, they'll just name and put your lights out. They got almost like dicks in their arms, you know, they're just so, uh, virile, you know, they're warriors, the competence, um, if it were, you know, archaic times or Robin Hood, whenever that was, 1600, you know, you have sayin' Hagen would be like, he'd be a king or a young king somewhere. And I think, uh, so Joe would be a, uh, he'd be a, you know, uh, he almost has a villain role to me for some reason.

And I don't know why that he has, maybe it could have been, you know, cause of the suspension coming back from the suspension he had that, you know, he's got that, um, that's, uh, he's a little more Slytherin. And I'm not, you know, no shade either of these men, they're both, you know, these men would, I mean, these men could tie me in a knot with a damn tongue. You know, these fellas would cherry stand me up. So, uh, but anyway, I'm watchin' the fight and, I mean, sayin' Hagen put that, he put, he hit him in the rafters real early, you know, and he really clipped him and got a little bit of blood at him, not much, but I would say probably a half cup throughout the whole event, quarter cup maybe.

Which might have given you the, but maybe if you're, if I'm Corey Sandhagen, I had that idea that I'm gettin', maybe it gives me the idea that I'm winning more, that I'm, it just visually it looked like that. So, I could know that maybe that would have been off. You had, you had, um, Sandhagen landed more strikes. You know, he hit him with more opportunities.

I mean, he was just damn throwing just, you know, he was out there like a damn battle bot. Now, I think the part where it gets tricky is that Dilla's always that pressure bear. You know what I'm sayin'? He's that honey hunter, man.

He's the second you let him, the second you open that zoo cage, he is out there maulin' people. Whereas Sandhagen is more that sniper, you know, he kind of works for the electric company. He'll climb up the pole and kind of see what's goin' on. And then he'll zap ya.

You know, he's really that, you know, that's kind of how he is, you know. But damn, Dilla's out there beatin' the damn diet coke out of a child's hand. You know what I'm sayin'? He's just, he's the mauler.

So I think I could see it visually. There's kind of two different things goin' on. You have Dilla's all controlling. You know, we kinda held Corey against the cage.

He had that control time. You know, that time of, it was almost slow dance. You almost wanted to put a song on. You know, put on some Garth Brooks, put on a little bit of a, you know, maybe some really slow Kodak Black or somethin' if he's ever done a ballad.

Or some early beaver. Some early JB, you know, throw that on. But the control time, it's just kind of like, I don't know, I feel like sometimes you're just holdin' somebody there. Now I know we did a lot of knees to him.

We really need him up. You know, we need him up like a dam. You know, kind of like a way an armless man would make a dam would kind of prepare a dough or do veal. If you got somebody with no arms the way they do veal, it's just, you know what I'm sayin'?

They need that damn little animal in a submission. And so it's ready to be a damn macaroni grill on tray. But I just feel like, and so, yeah, Sam Hagan, yeah, those are all pushed about. He pushed about, he came at him.

But I don't think there's anything wrong with back and away from a guy to get into the position that you want the most. You know, if a bee's comin' at ya, you don't just attack the bee. You kind of reposition yourself. You move around.

You might circle the block. You might put a mannequin out there that's dressed like you and then sneak around, watch the bee, see what it's doin' and then come back at it. But I don't think there's anything wrong with just repositioning yourself. If you look at what Sam Hagan did against Frankie Edwards, who I love, dear God, man, I wish he was my godfather.

I could be, if I could climb back in my mother's vagina and email Frankie before I would see if he would do that for me. But Sam Hagan did that against Gregory, kind of just backed up and moved him into position. So you have to respect that just because a guy is kind of retreating, that can be strategy. So I thought it was really close.

I think it's interesting when a sport is also a business, there's gonna be moments where if you let it be too close, that the business can help determine what the future looks like. And it's a great look for the weight class. It's a great look for UFC. You know, Dilishaw was, you know, they kind of almost felt like Sam Hagan had to prove himself more than Dilishaw had to prove himself.

So I don't know if some of the judges went into it with that sort of mindset in the beginning. But I feel like the outcome was better for the business. And also, look, what do I know nothing? I'm a one-strike white belt that hasn't been a class in almost a month because my ribs have gotten fractured by women, and men, and women.

But so I think that it was a great, it's great for the business. Something you got Dilishaw is back in there and he's back in the belt structure. So you're gonna get more fights out of him. Sam Hagan's still young, you know, he'll be able to me to get into a round in there before, you know, he'll be able to, you know, you could insert him back in for that title shot whenever.

Maybe you run it back. I don't know, I just don't see, I see how if I'm the business, if I'm the business, then I give it to Dilishaw. But if I'm a judge outside with how Anthony Smith said it, you know, the line hearted one. He said it after the show, he said, I had it for one, St.

Hagan's. And that's how I had it, man. I had St. Hagan's winning.

Now, Brendan Shaw would disagree with me, but, oh well, I don't have to agree with him all the time if I don't want to, or anyone. I don't know what I'm talking about, but I believe I know what I saw, and I believe that Corey St. Hagan didn't have to win. So, what else, man?

What else do we have going on out here in the world? I, what else did I do? Yeah, that John Chris episode is just, it's a good one. You know, we talked a lot about sex addiction and just why we kind of, what young men or how our early lives shape, how we interact with affection as we grow older.

And John was really forthright talking about his journey and his struggles. And sometimes, you know, we get in the struggle space where it's like, once you enter the struggle space, you kind of think everything is a struggle. And I recognize that, you know. Sometimes things just are what they are, it's not necessarily a struggle, it's not necessarily a bonus or a bravado or a positive, it's just is what it is.

But it was interesting, man, we talked about the first time you ever eject out of your body. The first time you let that, you know, you let God's trout just kind of fly out of your body, out of your body. And what that was like and the feeling from it. You know, I think I felt real ashamed the first time I really just sprayed out.

I felt ashamed, man. I feel excited and fired up, I felt like I had, it's almost like a thumb wrestling and you really win against yourself. And one of your thumbs is, you know, your pain is your wiener, body wiener. You know, I remember being young and I found some liquor and some titty mags, you know, titty, you know, literature, titty literature.

And I was up on the shelf and you know, climbed up there and found me a little jack stack, you know, my brother had something. And he'd been touching himself and I didn't know it. And I shouldn't know, there's only, you know, we had four children up, we got up to seven children. Then maybe we could start a regular note, leaving notes for each other, but we was at four children in our household.

And I just remember pleasuring myself and then I'd been drinking a little bit of liquor up there, Cisco, Strawberry Dazzle or something. And it was urban liquor, you see a lot of brothers sipping on it. You know older men older, older kind of darker men, you'd see them sucking on the bottle over there by the A&P or behind the post office. And I had that and I whipped down, I'd gone down two sips at that and next thing you know, I'm pleasuring myself.

You know, when the Lord's knee is pouring and just flowing right out of my damn nuts. And I remember feeling, I mean, I feel exalted, I feel excited, I felt, but I also remember just feeling kind of shame because you had to go and clean it off my body. I had to clean it off of me. And I think I felt a lot of shame, I think.

Cause it really is a precious metal and there's no more precious metal than pure body semen. I don't think. And what do I know? You know what I'm saying?

I'm just an adult. But there's no more precious. I mean, I've always long said it should be on the, it should be on the periodic table. You know, it's that liquid life.

I can't believe carbon is on air. Uh, let me look up a periodic element. Periodic element. Let me rattle off a color on here.

Damn. Lorentzium, who the hell is that? Lorentzium's on that shit, dub me them. Come on man, dub me them.

And see him at see me name on and on here? Osmium. Irritium, dude. I bought her high school.

Irritium, babe, hey, I'm dude, come on. So I'm just saying, if anything should be on the periodic table, I shouldn't be singing brother. Body semen. And that's a fact, brother.

I mean, that's an adult fact. So, but anyway, if you have a story about the first time you ever busted out of your body, first time you ever, you know, you're really just a, you're taking everything that's in you that's possible. And just sharing that into the world. Did you feel okay?

Did you feel bad? You know, hit the hotline 95-6-4, 95-0-3. And I'm coming off a roughs patch too. I've been, you know, I masturbated last night.

And so I think I'm feeling some type of way. And it was the second night in a row for me. So that's who I am right now. And that's okay.

I still got up and stayed active this morning. I plan on eating lunch. I'm taking care of myself, but. Ronnie Mau, what do you think?

I'm joking, he's not here, but it matter if he was here. This would be his answer. Of course. What else do we have going on?

We got, yeah, if you have a story about that first bust, man, the time you brought it into the world. Because once you, you know, once you, once you really crack open that cavern, it's hard to go back. It's hard to roll that rock in front of that, you know, in front of this new chasm, or chasm that you've created in the world. It's hard to close Pandora's box, man.

You got that spunk stick on you, you know? You got that little fiddle, man. And you know how to play it. You got that I want to feel good now.

It's a little handle on you. And that's wiener, baby. That's body wiener. I want to tell you about this right now that Mint Mobile is something that is good.

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You know, a lot of people aren't working right now. And hell, it's pissing a lot of people off. You go to, I went to Home Depot, nobody back in the garden. Jesus, I felt like I had them back there.

You know, I could eat an apple and damn master. You know, I could have done whatever I wanted. Took some teddy back there if I brought some with me. But you know, just different.

You know, nobody's back there, jeepers. I could have unleashed a snake and hit an apple back there and damn reenacted the Bible if I wanted to. Crazy odd brother. But everyone knows when you're applying the jobs you're lucky to make it through one application before you're ready to give up.

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Just go to the ladders, L-A-D-D-E-R-S dot com slash T-A-G-O to sign up. That's the ladders, L-A-D-D-E-R-S dot com slash T-O to sign up today. And I'm going to join me a liquid death right there, man. Be a hit the hotline if you have a good story about how you, you know, or just what you felt like the first time you really made pleasant with yourself.

First time you ever really kind of took your little wiener on a date with your hand when you did that dirty dance with that poem. When you made a little batch of poems silent, you know what I'm saying? Tell us about that. 95-6-4-9-5-0-3 is the hotline.

And as always, bless everybody, praise God. What else do we have some great calls that came in? That's a great video. I want to introduce you first to a couple of fellows I'm really enamored with.

And you're going to see these fellows right here. And these fellows have Down syndrome. And some of you may not believe in Down syndrome. I'm not here to debate that.

You know, I beat it when I was young. They said, the doctor in our town, Dr. Henry. He said, I beat it.

And so I've always felt indebted to the DS community. I've always, you know, when a lot of people went to have DS, they know they, I think they know one of those cusp riders, you know, that I have it in me to be very similar to them. If you haven't seen these fellows on TikTok, this is called Get Down with S&M. And S&M is a different, it's not like sexual, this is a Down syndrome cooking.

Let's chime in once I'm beautiful, young men too. And I think they're brothers or cousins maybe. It is, um, chicken's cooked. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

First thing you've got this? And you can see your fellows are right here to put in chives or something on a cutlet. And my God, it's beautiful men. They're in a nice kitchen.

If you haven't seen two, and they're Asian fellows too. So a couple of Bobby Lee's, if you haven't seen a couple of DS that Bobby Lee's put chives on a, on a cutlet, man, you're missing out, and these fellows are beautiful. And when I'm smelled his hand at the end, and that's a, that's a nature baby. And here's one right here.

First and the liquors, can I start? Oh, when they're licking the, ah, the little rotors, the, ah, they're licking the cake batter spinners. Remember mom used to have that thing, she would fold it back and put those two little spanners, little dragon arms in the deal, and then she'd turn it off. Wow, ah, I don't know what it is.

It's two beaters, beaters. And you can see these fellow licking the beaters, man. A couple of beautiful little Bobby Lee's over here, licking these beaters, couple of Stevie Lee's, man. And these guys are, they're pretty jacked, obviously these guys are on pre-workout or something.

And these guys are beautiful handsome guys. And they also have down syndrome, but they're cooking. And so it's just beautiful to see what you can do with different, ah, you know, if you're missing a couple, you know, a little bit of your municipality, so you can still make a harder or do something beautiful and do a dessert. Oh, yeah.

Hey. Oh, yeah. Little Danny going in on his beater, man. He like that thing about 15 times, baby, heavy.

He real tongue heavy. Oh, Marley is one of his name, Sean and Marley. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, man. And that's really, you gotta have eight children be doing that kind of thing at the house.

But hey, it's real fearless, man. You know, it's real fearless. So if you wanna see some good cooking with those people, guys, Sean and Marley on TikTok. And I ended up in the down syndrome and in the autism cycle.

A lot of things to get put into my TikTok, I'm in that algorithm. So that's where I'm at. You know what I'm saying? I'm upstairs, baby.

Praise God, man. We'll watch one more where they wash their hands. It really is real cute. Throw me a hand, Sean.

Start. Now he's mad at him. He's mad at him. Oh, he said he needs a hand with the falafel mitts.

And Sean went to wash his hands. So they have some miscommunication. Fox, there was a hate. Yeah, not wash your hands, Sean.

Don't do it. Okay, beautiful right there, man. That's awesome. Good to see you that, man.

What else we got? Another video we're sending here is a TikTok, a fight on spirit airline. Let's go. Uh oh.

No, don't do that. She's trying to bring somebody good. Two urban women and they like to fight. You know that?

And they're out here about to get at it. Here we go. Oh, it's lit, it's lit, it's lit, it's lit, it's lit. Some phyllic audience, a lot of hair pulling, a lot of ass, a lot of thick ass being.

She's got a whole chart. And there you go right there. And this kind of stuff, I mean, this is the kind of shit. It's like, when does it end, you know?

Why people can't figure out how to be okay in society, you know? And this is all too common. Black people love to fight in kind of like outside the ring, I feel like, you know, black people are not afraid to fight anywhere. That's really what I'm saying.

They'll fight wherever. I think other cultures, Mexican people, they fight more like in a car wash or in a boxing ring. White people, I think more fight like in a courtroom or sometimes outdoors like on a porch. But spirit airlines really has become the bellator of kind of like for the urban community in the sky.

It's become the bellator of the sky. I think that. Now I look, I had five spirit one time, God bless, man. And I saw two dogs go at it.

Two people had dogs, I don't know if this was sanctioned or what, but then they just started throwing at each other. Praise God, man. So just stay safe out there if you don't spear it. I think just wear a jersey, wear an Atlanta hogs jersey, wear something that kind of blends in, you know?

But know that you could be near a scuffle, I think. And that's spirit, bro. Thank man, that's spirit. We had a lot of people call them with their last words, last episode, solo episode, excuse me.

We talked about what the last words would be. You know, if you had that, you wanna die somewhere decent so you have some last words and here's some people. Yo, this is Benedict from Berlin calling about last week's podcast, last words. Benedict from Berlin, baby, thank you for calling, sir.

In Berlin, man, man, that's really that. You know, Berlin is a good place, I think, to listen to some damn Billy Iowan and spray paint ability, maybe praise God. Let's hear more. I'm a huge dummy talking to our walking fan.

So I got to go with his last words, currently last words in Tokyo, Japan, the left show, the bottom stage, and his left work where paint that a bitch. Hey man, there you go, fresh out of Berlin right there, fella hitting us with some last words, ain't that a bitch? I like that, ain't that a bitch? Cause it is, man.

You know, life is just, it's just another, it's a bitch after a bitch after a bitch. Here's a bitch, there's a bitch, there's a bitch, there's a bitch bitch. It's this bitch, this bitch, and I'm not talking feminine, I'm talking just anything, you know. A dog bites you.

You know, a band detergent gets sold to you. You know, somebody whipping weave out on spirit airline. You know, it just, it never ends. It's made a bit central out there.

And that's life. It's really just managing bad bitches. That's all it is. So thank you for that.

Think that a bitch. Here's a couple more that came in, here's one. The O, gang gang, this is a boy Bamboo from Connecticut. Bamboo, and that's a very, that's a taught wood, baby.

You know, something like teak is more malleable. But Bamboo, I connect it. And you obviously, your family's got to be either real rich or real poor and they're child after a Asian forest wood, I think. Good to hear from you, Boo.

I was just calling, about the whole last word deal. I know about the struggling, trying to figure out the last word, so. Riley Malle struggles to figure out his first words. You know, the fella, it's tough to see that Asian community is really kind of, they're sputtering.

It's all, everybody's sputtering. Well, really, I think I speak for a lot of us out there. I would say my last words would be, delete my browser and it's just, you know, try to have my memory attacked as I fade out. You know what I mean?

Thank you, bubby. Gang, gang, gang, you're right. The last thing I wanted to see is, you know, the naughty things that I've googled to look for. You know what I'm saying?

I mean, I got the blockers on my phone for pornography, but I find a loophole through Twitter. So I'm out there, so I'm on Perf City and Perf Support and it's just, oh, man, the shame, the shame, the shame. The depletion. Just blowing your little, you know, just blowing your nut nose.

Anyway, a little handkerchief or into a dam and just washing it down the drain. Dear God. Anyway, Bamboo, I hope you're doing well out there, brother. I hope you're doing well, Bamboo.

Oh, my neighbor's a dog and Bamboo as well. So cool to hear it. Cool to hear the name again. I like hearing it.

Bamboo. All right, let's hear another one that came in. Here we go. Hi, what's up to you?

This is Ryan, down in South Georgia. Down in Sojo, huh? South Georgia, baby. And it gets a little rural out there.

It gets a little interesting. You head down towards Jacksonville. You know, you see a lot of people down there getting a little rural. A lot of people, you know, limited alphabet.

You'll see a 20 letter alphabet down there. Like, hang on. You know, you show up with a W, they don't know what you're talking about. You show up with an R8, they shocked.

Let's hear more. Calling about, what would my last word be? You know, you probably have to play on to the timing, but I probably tell you, like, I hit a billion dollars into that bit. I'm out cold.

The whole family just left, like, dang, where's this money at? Okay, so you'd say you'd give half a clue. I hit the million. I hit this, you know?

Your real father is. That would be a good one. Get children, stunt them a little. Your real father, you know?

I was molested by a postman. Something like that. Give a clue to something. I like that.

It's interesting. I hit the million though. You know, if you have a structure of a life where your family's gonna believe that, but if you're living in a four-door sedan, you know, and you accidentally park in a garage and you keep the thing on and, you know, the gas gets you and you lung down on that carbon oxide. If you're dying from carbon oxide, man, and you tell your kid I hit the million, I'll be like, you're a fucking deadbeat.

The kid's not gonna fully believe you. So you need believability. That's what that was missing. Let's hear another one.

The last one, here we go. Well, if the O's is both calling in about my last words, I think if I'm being realistic, it's probably just gonna be fucked, you know? I'm a way out. I get stabbed or shot.

You know, everyone's gonna throw a fuck and then you're lucky if you get something else out after that. I don't know. What do you think? You know, that's interesting because sex is what got us into the world.

And I would bet you're right. I bet eight out of 10 times the last word is fuck. Or F-U-C-K, I won't say that much, but F-U-C-K. And you know what I'm saying?

Fuck. So that's what the irony of it all. It took somebody doing sex to even get you to exist. And now you're on your way out to the last thing you're saying.

It's full circle, baby. It's a dirty roundabout. It's that ankle. You flow in, you flow out.

Being alive. We gotta be a single mom and I'm gonna get you in a second. I gotta let you know that, this summer, get the most out of your travels abroad by learning the language of your destination with babble, babble, babble, babble, babble. The number one selling language, learning app, from ordering in restaurants or asking for directions to gaining a deeper understanding of the culture, babble makes the whole process of learning a new language.

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Well, you can, that's babble.com use promo code Theo. Thank you for supporting this podcast. Also, you know, if you need help, there's not always a way to get it near you. You know, I called up.

I finally called a friend and said, I need some help, I need some help. And man, it even brought tears from us even saying it. Just saying it, voicing that into the world I need help. Well, better help is there.

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In fact, so many people have been using better help. They were creating additional counselors in all 50 states. Well, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. And this past week, and listeners, get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash Theo.

I want to let you know that a lot of shows on sale, you can get tickets to theovon.com slash tour. I think we might rock with Return of the Rat, baby. That's the tour name I'm thinking of. And that feels kind of good.

And the rat is always returning, you know it. You know if you want a dose, if you want to set some cheese in the yard, baby, you know I'll be there. And you know where to find me. I'll look sayers.

Yay. Always, we want to do something nice for a single mom. I want to thank our Patreon supporters as well. We have a very small Patreon, but we are very mighty.

And I just feel grateful to be part of a process of just trying to think of somebody different than myself. And we got this nomination video came in right here. Hey Theo, this is Remy. I'm calling you from Ottawa, Canada.

Remy up there, Canadian. And Remy, I'm not sure if that's just part of a name or not. Maybe Jeremy. And I don't know what the exchange rate is on names, but he'll also watch a J-E-R, but if you need one.

That's what we do down here, but I'm honored. I want to nominate my friend Louise, who's a single mom living in Silicon Valley, British Columbia. She's got four kids. Two of them have autism, one.

Who doesn't, buddy? And I'm not saying that, Jeremy, thank you for saying that. But everybody has it now. You can even meet it.

You can find nine people that don't have autism if I gave you probably 14 minutes. Oh, but thank you. I think it's a cystic fibrosis. And she just pours everything in these kids, man.

She's been homeschooling them since before the pandemic. She puts so much work into making sure they're eating healthy and staying active. And it's just been hard to last year, kind of watching her struggle with isolation of the pandemic. And we all are kind of struggling with depression right now, but it's just been so hard watching someone who works so hard to make a life for kids happy, you know, also kind of feels sad and kind of isolated.

So I think I don't know anyone who would deserve the chance to just treat herself and do something fun with her kids. So, yeah, man, you're the best gang gang brother. Thank you, man. That's really sweet of you.

And everybody is having some effects from this pandemic, from the isolation. That's really the big thing. More people are the effects from isolation from COVID and the separation will are so much bigger than anything. I believe that this COVID itself could ever do.

But let's give a call to her. Let me see if you said her name. Hey, Theo, this is Remy. I'm calling you from Ottawa, Canada.

I want to nominate my friend Louise, who's Louise. And I'm from Louisiana, so that's a perfect mix right there, man. Yeah, let's see if we can't give a call to Louise right now. Hey, Louise.

Hi. Hey, how are you? I'm good, how are you? Good, I'm not a creep or anything.

I just, I am calling, I work at a podcast. My name is Theo, and I work at a podcast. And every so often we do, we have people submit a friend or someone they know who's a single mom, we do something for single moms, it's kind of nice. And you have a friend named Remy who I think just thinks that you're just a special gal and really admires you.

So he submitted you for a single mom nomination. Yeah, he told me it was a surprise. He's a very cryptic about this. Well, we are a cryptic bunch here at this podcast.

I will say that, so that's pretty normal. But he just said he really admires you, you know, he said you do homeschooling, you have four children, you got homeschooled up there? Yeah, yeah, I'm in BC, southern BC, and I homeschool my four kids and we have sheep and ducks and we're pretty kind of living off the, we're just kind of wild people. Yeah, that sounds pretty cool.

I bet the kids love being around the animals, huh? Yeah, not as much as I could hope. We have all kinds of like dogs, I have an acreage. So intention was when I bought it years ago that we would, oh, I thought I'd be more farming, but then I kind of did the whole kid thing.

And now I do sort of an unschooled homeschooling, so we don't do any like set classes per se. They just sort of run wild, but in like a healthy, awesome way. Yeah, wow, that sounds awesome. Dude, I live in Nashville and I'm in Nashville right now.

So we just operate out of Nashville and out of Los Angeles, but yeah, it almost sounds like summer campers that feel like that a little bit. Yeah, yeah, it totally does. We have people coming hang out and they're sort of like, they're like a holiday. I'm like, this is every day.

They're pretty much barefoot all the time. And they just dig into it. So I just think that we have, I have my daughters, they're almost 13. And so she has friends, her one very close friends in Toronto, her cousin, and she goes to like a academic, very academic private school.

And the hand of the summer, and you know, you wouldn't know one has gone through the whole super academic, in how they converge. They're talking to me no different things here, but my daughter thinks that she doesn't know and she knows things that mother doesn't know, but you neither feel like they know less or more. You know, like they don't know anything from the other. Right.

Yeah, that sounds pretty fascinating. It's almost like an experiment in some ways. That's what Remy told me. I was like, yeah, I always wanted to do more, but you know, this is what I'm doing now.

And he's like, you're living the experiment. Yeah, it sounds pretty magical, I think. They must be really proud of you. Is it, it must be really, does it feel kind of empowering, or does it feel exhausting to have to be like a teacher and the mom and everything kind of?

Yeah, I would say empowering. I mean, sometimes it's a lot, sometimes, but it's a lot I would say. Especially if they older and you can really see the things that I hope would happen are happening. You know, when their fathers know, like, oh, this is going to work out.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, They did learn to read early. And the data I would say now, she's 13 and reading all the big printing books, whatever, from the libraries and everything, but she can learn when you're in turns 10 and the people that was reading, and I was like, I'm not gonna read. And I'm like, no, I can't read and everything! But she hasn't read perfectly, she reads it really little.

And she has no bagged about that. You can learn when she's six or five or four or anything. And, so it's empowering, when it works? It's almost irrelevant when you're doing it.

You're like, well, like, Oh, this is going to work. Yeah, wow, dang, that's cool though. I'm glad to see. I'm glad to see I'm glad it's working out.

like yeah it sounds like um fun it is you know it is it is it is I feel like to really embrace it you have to be pretty um just have fun with them like I kind of just they just kind of do what I'm not relaxed like and we live out in your river so we go swimming over the river and we swim and you and I know like it's like every casual because they don't like Jack it's and they don't like Jack it's and they don't like Jack it's and they don't like Jack it's a stronger I mean it's not why but it's but the other day my one's on his eight and he wasn't paying attention he just got stuck a bit farther down and then I was like yeah and it was like it was fun I would want to go on but he sort of was then horrified and I kind of like actually came down on him because most of them I don't like I don't get it I live by it was a very key rules that really have our absolute you know you don't ever but pretty much everything else you know where I can bend on those things right I don't force anything but the it was kind of wake up probably and I think he made a little bit more weather I'm actually scheduled I think I like it's not even over protective well yeah it's a podcast hey what's up I don't like it's like a podcast guy Where do y'all live at? We're at a friend's right now because we live in we live in the cookies in BC. We're trying to get our way to a family cottage With a small world we just wanted to share with you that we were thinking about you and that we were thinking about you We try to do some nice support single moms just because we just think it's um, you know, it's just a neat position and So we wanted to send you a thousand bucks. It's just us dollars I don't know if they're worth anything, but yeah, we just wanted to send it to you and say you could just do something fun with the kiddos Yep, and that's it.

There's no there's no strings attached You got some fresh sheep I have some AI sheep and so that'll find you in the fall. Okay. Oh, I'll look forward to that We'd like to have a little bit of sheep in here I'll leave off of it. It's nice.

I'm not the inside. I'm not even off the hairy side, but um, but anyway, yeah We just want to let you know that we were thinking about so we're just always trying to just be a part of um I don't know We're just trying to be a part of people's lives if we can just kind of like a simple way here and there and and so that's it We just want to let you know that we're thinking about you and now all of our audience will be thinking about you And it's really interesting to hear that there's kind of this this wild little family out there. That's just figuring it out in the world It's really I don't know it sounds exciting They're pretty awesome kids. They're the most alike when you meet them not to know, but they're big.

They got to get up. They're pretty cool Well, I bet they're proud of you and we are Um, so thank you so much for your time today. And uh, hope you have a good day. Yeah, thank you.