Ep. 129: I successfully Failed 100 Times

Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. In this week's podcast, I want to talk with you about how I failed 100 times this year. Wait, What?!?! Yes, you heard right! In 2019, I made the goal to fail on purpose 100 times. The goal was to set my goals so high that I was forced to fail. And guess what? I failed 100 times. I possibly failed 1000 times. I failed so many times I lost count. In this podcast, my hope is to share with you my personal experiment in changing the way that I feel and respond to the thought of failure.  Here are examples of how I failed 100 times:  •    I asked a lot of people to come on the podcast.  A lot of people said no.  I knew they would, but I figured it was worth a try.  But, do you know what I learned? I learned that a lot of people I didn't think would say yes did.   •    I took a course that was so hard and out of my line of skills and really struggled to complete it.  •    I started playing the ukulele even though I was so afraid of being terrible at it (which I am).  •    I pitched a book to a publishing company (more on this later).  •    I said yes to being Room Mum for both of my kids (knowing I would not be the best at it). •    I aimed to increase registration for ERP School and we did it. We reached the highest registration yet.  But here is the thing. I also failed 100 times at things I never set out to fail at. I had to accept in many ways that I cannot push my body to do things that I simply could not do. This was the hardest part about failing. I had to stare my fear of failing at the easy stuff over and over again.  Here are examples of how I not only failed 100 times, but gave myself permission to fail, even though it hurt so much.  ◆    Remember that course I told you about? I got so sick, I didn't finish it. I had to drop out and this made me face imperfection and failure head-on.   ◆    I was a less than perfect therapist! I missed sessions with clients, and I double booked clients during times when I was so overwhelmed.    ◆    I gave myself permission to share the struggles I have had with friends. I was so embarrassed to do this, but I am so glad I did.  I learned that when you share your struggles, you actually feel more connected with the people around you.   But finally, the most important example of how I failed 100 times is the decision I have made to take a month off of the podcast. After much consideration, I have decided to listen to my body and take the month of December to rest, rejuvenate and repair. I fought this decision for a long time, but I know it is what I need. With that being said, I want to thank you for being so loyal and kind to me. I adore your support. I wish you a very Happy 2019 Holiday! I will be back in January, ready to go. Ready to fail!  FREE anxiety video training! Learn how to become more intentional with the words you use to describe yourself, your experiences and your future. Cbtschool.com/thinkwisely