Ep 13: How to Choose an Adoption Agency

Show Notes Episode 13 In this Episode Heather discusses: How to choose an adoption agency Questions to ask an adoption agency What you should expect from an adoption agency Red flags to be aware of when choosing an adoption agency Links Mentioned: fortheloveofadoption.com https://for-the-love-of-adoption.ck.page/agency-questions https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&rolType=Custom&RS_ID=157&rList=RCL https://www.naag.org/find-my-ag/ https://www.usa.gov/state-consumer https://www.bbb.org/ https://www.childwelfare.gov/nfcad/ Adoption. It's surrounded with so much confusion and misinformation. And how many people never move forward with adoption because of this? Hi, I'm Heather. I'm not an adoption coach or consultant, and I'm not within adoption agency. I'm a mom to two amazing kids I've been blessed with through adoption. And on this journey, I've learned and continue to learn a lot. Most of all, I believe that if God has put adoption on your heart, it's there for a reason. And you shouldn't let all the steps keep you from building your family through adoption. I'm here to offer you hope and encouragement, and to talk about everything from types of adoption, things to know before you adopt, funding your adoption, including grants, the home study process, making the most of your adoption wait, talking to your kids about adoption, and so much more. Adoption can be hard, but many of the best things in life often are You know what, though? It can also be amazing. I'm here to share what I've learned. I hope hearing from someone that has gone this road before you encourages and motivates you to take a step of faith and see where it leads. I'm doing this all for the love of adoption. Let's dive in. Hello, and welcome to episode 13 of the for the love of adoption Show. Today I am going to be talking about choosing an adoption agency. Now not everyone that pursues adoption chooses to do an agency adoption. But today I am going to be talking about how to choose an adoption agency. So if that is the route you think you're going to take, or you just want to learn more about the possibility, then I'm going to discuss that today. Okay, let's jump in. So, when you decide to pursue adoption, one important consideration is how to find the best adoption agency for you. And it can be confusing to know what to look for. But if you decide to move forward with an agency adoption, you'll want to feel confident in the one that you choose to work with. This is going to be a fairly detailed episode so you might want to grab something to take some notes if you are needing some help with choosing an agency. So, the decision to adopt a child obviously is one of the most important you're ever going to make. You want to work with an agency that has everyone's best interest in mind. And you want an agency that handles everything exactly as they should, you may have heard stories of adoptions gone wrong. And although there are cases when this has happened, this is not the case with most adoptions, especially if you take the time to ensure that you're working with a legitimate agency. Prospective, adoptive parents really need to be able to trust their adoption services providers. No one with the heart to adopt wants to have things fall apart. So let's talk about the basics of how to find the best adoption agency for your family. So people pursue adoption in different ways. Some might use an agency for just their home study, while others use it for the entire process. In our first adoption, we used an agency for the entire process. And with our second we just used them for the home study. Some people may even choose to work with different agencies to complete certain requirements, or they may choose to work with several agencies so they're getting more exposure. Adopting through an agency does not prevent you from seeking out separate legal counsel. First of all know that we hired an adoption lawyer in both of our adoptions. Even though we worked with an agency in our first adoption, we still hired an adoption lawyer. So, while there's no one best adoption agency for everyone, there are steps that you can take and questions you can ask to make sure that the one you choose is the right fit for you. So first of all, agency licensing. If you choose to adopt through an agency, you should always choose a reputable licensed adoption agency. And although licensing requirements vary by state, every state clearly defines which entities can place children. There are also certain standards that these agencies need to meet and maintain. The minimum standards that are set for these agencies include things like educational qualifications, training requirements, and regulations governing the storage of records, things like that. I would discourage anyone from pursuing adoption with anyone other than a licensed agency or full-service adoption attorney. That is just my personal opinion. Secondly, do your research. prospective adoptive parents should always research the background of an agency before deciding to work with them. And here are some specific ways that you can research contact the state licensing specialist in the state where the agency is located you can find out if the agency is in good standing and I will put that link in the show notes so that you can go there and take a look at that. Contact the state attorney general's office to see if any legal action has been taken against that agency. I'll include that in the show notes as well. I'll include any of the links I mentioned in this episode in the show notes. You can also check with the state, city or county government consumer protection offices where the agency is located. Contact the Better Business Bureau office closest to the agency to see if they have any complaints filed against them. So again, contact the state licensing specialist and the state where the agencies located, contact the state attorney general's office, you can check the state city or county government consumer protection office and, you can contact the Better Business Bureau. This is just due diligence guys, it's part of the process to make sure that you are working with a legitimate agency. The next thing is check references. Once you have an agency that you are considering working with ask for at least three references from the agency. Ask them to provide you with the names and phone numbers of three clients whose adoptions were completed through them. And preferably more recently than, you know, years and years ago. You can ask those adoptive parents how the agency handled the adoption process, including any post adoption services and ask them if they had any problems or concerns. Would they use this agency again, if not why? So that you can find out what the issue was and see if you can reach out to another agency and get references and compare you really need to do your research here. The next thing you can do is you can join an adoption group join an adoptive parent support group in your area and adoptive parent support groups. You can talk with other parents about their experience with local agencies, there is a way to look at a list of adoptive parent's support groups in your area, you can do that on the national foster care and adoption directory. And again, I'll include that in the show notes.  Next Hague accreditation. If the agency is working in other countries, it needs to be Hague accredited. And this means that the agency is accredited by the Council on accreditation to offer services to families adopting from countries that have ratified and ascended to the Hague treaty which governs inter country adoption. So I know that's wordy but  Hague accreditation is important if you're looking into international adoption. Other considerations. Aside from ensuring that you're working with a legitimately licensed agency, it's really up to you to choose who to work with. In our case, we went to a free informational meeting and got a feel for the agency, because even if they are legitimate, you need to make sure it's the right fit for you. We did our research before we decided to work with them. And we got a feel for the agency. And we chose an agency that shared a worldview that aligned with our own. That was important to us. I know that choosing an adoption agency to work with can be hard, there's so many things to figure out. And I get that. So I've created a free adoption agency questionnaire that I want you to go grab, if you're in this process. If you want to have specific questions in front of you, when you go to the agency or when you're talking to them on the phone, that's what this is going to give you. It's also going to give you space to put some things that just really stand out to you about this agency, I'd suggest keeping one of these for each agency that you interview. You can get this in my resource library. All you need to do is go to fortheloveofadoption.com and scroll to the bottom of the homepage, and you will see an option to get access to the resource library where you will find this document that you can download as well as many others to help you on your adoption journey. I hope you find that helpful. I can't wait to hear your adoption story. Now let's talk about some questions. There are some great questions that you can ask a potential agency before deciding if you would like to work with them or not. Here's just some ideas to get you started. What counseling or support, if any, do they offer birth parents? How do you locate potential birth mothers? Remember guys, it's our job as adoptive parents or prospective adoptive parents to care about the ethics of the agencies and to choose an agency that shows true respect for the birth parents and a desire to serve them. Because the truth is adoptive parents also benefit when birth parents are well counseled. And when they're respected, it's better for everyone. When the birth parents receive the support and respect, they deserve. If you get a sense that that's not happening at an agency, I would absolutely choose someone else to work with.  Another question. What is your fee structure? And what is the timeline for expected payments? Is there a certain type of adoption you specialize in or encourage? Do you have more experience with open or closed adoption? And what's the norm with your agency? How many children has your agency successfully placed within the last year and how many failed placements? What is your current average wait time? Now one note I want to say on this guys is I work with families, I speak to families all the time that are in the process of infant adoption and they're waiting a long time. So, if you get an answer that you don't love and the wait is long, that doesn't mean anything negative about the agency. That just means that that's how long it's taking. And that's just they're being honest with you. So, I know that that can be very discouraging for a lot of people, but hopefully they're honest with you and telling you if it's taking years, they're telling you that that's how it is. A lot of times agencies might even shut off taking new applications for a while, because they have an amount of families waiting. And that's what's fair for those families. That's what's fair for the families that are waiting is for them to not accept additional families. So just keep in mind that a long wait time doesn't mean anything against the agency, it could very well mean that they're doing things exactly like they should. And that's just how long it's taking. Now, that doesn't mean you can't do other things to get more exposure, aside from just what the agency would do directly. But that would be something you would also need to research. But I just want you to know that a long wait time doesn't mean anything against the agency, in and of itself. Another question, how many waiting families are there currently with your agency? What requirements does the agency have for prospective adoptive parents? What type of pre-adoption education does the agency provide? How long has the agency existed? What does the agency offer in terms of post adoption support services? What educational materials such as books or organizations do you suggest? Can the agency provide references from several families that have adopted through the agency? Can they produce references for the type of adoption that you're considering? What are the agency's experience and background in the type of adoption that you want to pursue? If you're pursuing international adoption, can the agency account for and explain its activities and available support in country? What are the state laws under which the agency must operate? Next, look for red flags. As you start your research, you'll start to get a sense of what to look for. Pay attention to your instincts. Just because an agency claims to be reputable does not mean they are. Again one of the most important things you can do in the beginning, is just make sure they're properly accredited and licensed and check references. Are they being forthcoming with an itemized list of fees and associated adoption expenses? Are their fees reasonable compared to other agencies and the research you've done? A good agency is going to let you ask all your questions and not make you feel like you're bothering them. It's their job. They will respond to your phone calls and your emails and they'll be professional and they'll work in everyone's best interest. This includes treating the birth parents well by providing counseling and post adoption support and providing good service to you and following all the proper protocols. If you start to work with an agency and you see some warning signs leave. It can feel difficult to walk away once you've gotten started. But it's important enough to do so if you need to. This is your future child or children we're talking about. You want to know that things are being handled ethically and responsibly. Some warning signs could be things like they're unprofessional or demeaning in their adoption language. Shorter wait times in exchange for higher fees would be a big warning sign, little or very limited pregnancy counseling, a lack of long term support for any member of the adoption triad. Don't rush this important part of the beginning of your adoption journey. If you meet with an agency or an adoption lawyer and it doesn't feel right, don't settle. Find an agency that you feel good about working with. Make sure the agency is licensed, read what you can about them online, including any reviews you can find call people that have adopted through them and find out their experience. If basic questions that you're asking are a struggle for the agency to answer move on and look for another agency to interview. You're looking for the best adoption agency for your family and it can take a little time to find them. Expect and demand professionalism. Agency staff should be able to readily provide their background, educational qualifications, years of experience, etc. Expect high quality pre-adoption orientation, education and training. This does not mean that everything is perfect. We're still dealing with people. But overall, it should be a professional setting. Both the expectant parents, the birth parents and the adoptive parents need and deserve quality, pre and post adoption services and support. The goal of adoption isn't just to place a child in a family but for that child to be placed in a family that they can thrive in. And a good agency will always operate under this philosophy. Look for an agency whose information you trust. The agency should always tell you about all of your options, explain any issues happening in specific countries, provide estimated timelines and be upfront with the fees. And again, on the timeline. All they can do is estimate based on current trends, so don't hold them to this. And don't fall for the first agency that makes promises that they can't substantiate such as shorter wait times, particularly for infant adoption. Pay attention to the level of responsiveness. If they're not prompt in answering you now, don't expect them to be different just because you decide to work with them. That doesn't mean you send them an email and they answer five minutes later. But if overall it's not a professional exchange then look elsewhere. Even a professional licensed adoption agency might not be the best fit for you. You have to be prepared to do your homework, look at all the available options and ask questions, lots of questions. This is really the only way to ensure that you're choosing the best adoption agency for you. Now, I want you to know that you can also go to my site, if you need that list of questions that I ran off. I know that was a lot. So if you need that, you can go to my site fortheloveof adoption.com/best-adoption-agency. So fortheloveofadoption.com/ best-adoption-agency if you want that full list of questions that I went through. You'll see that there in that post in case you need to go back and reference those and maybe take some additional notes. But I hope that you found this helpful. Choosing an adoption agency can feel overwhelming. But really, you just need to do some homework like you would anytime you were researching something that's what it comes down to. And with the different links that I shared, where you can research, the licensing and all of that, and the questions I've given you to ask a potential agency you may want to work with, you are well on your way to choosing the best agency for you and your family to work with. Thanks so much for listening in today. And did you know that I offer a full library of free resources to help you along on your adoption journey. Just go to fortheloveofadoption.com and scroll to the bottom of the homepage, you will be able to access all kinds of PDFs there to help you along different stages of your adoption journey. And if you've enjoyed this at all, if you could please leave me a review and rating it helps more than you know. Talk to you next time.