Hello everybody, welcome to another episode solo. No guest. Bobby Lee and George and Gilbert in the house with my beautiful girlfriend. It's really good to be here.
Tiger belly. Yeah. Yeah. Walking down the street.
Everybody, no soldiers per party to you. Slept King in the house. Welcome to another fine wholesome episode of the Tiger belly. Guys, I'm telling you right now, I don't even remember our life without pandemic.
I don't remember our life without pandemic. This is the new normal for me. What's your last memory? My last memory was being in Denver, but I'll tell you how I don't.
Okay. So I'm on. I did a show yesterday. It's called Nailed It.
It's a cooking show. Right? What? I'm, you know, I was a joke.
I got a joke. I got a joke. I got a joke. So this is the first time I've been around people like new people, like anybody really.
And when I meet, I don't even know how to talk. Like they had contest. I'm a judge. They had contest is done.
This lady, you know, she owns a manufacturing company and, you know what I mean? Outside of Chicago, meet Kimberly or whatever, right? And then I'm like, excuse me? That's what I can't exactly cut.
What the fuck are you saying? I just never been around people before. I don't think, you know, and it's like, I get excited. Just eat with the grips.
Yeah. What's your name? You know, I just get really excited around being around people. It's really cool.
I feel like I've deteriorated socially to even more than before. Yeah. How do you know? I'm just not able to.
I don't know what to say or do or how to act. I don't I just I've deteriorated. Like unless I've already sucked with small talk with new people. Now it's I'm a mute.
I just sweat in place. I just stand there and I just sweat. Yeah. I've also been kind of numb to just the world in general in terms of like, I'm not talking about politics here at Tiger Pill as we as we do or we don't we don't we don't you know, because you know, I have my own beliefs, but even all the things that are going on politically in the regardless of where you stand, I've just been kind of a fucking numb to it all.
In fact, things that I would find outrageous before, you know, like five years ago, if something the things that are going on right now, right, politically was happening five or six years ago, it would have blown my mind like it would have liked it. What? But now it's just like, oh, that happened. That person said that.
You know, that doesn't sound that crazy to me. So I've been kind of right. Is that true or no? Normalize.
It's not good. It's not good. I'm not saying it's a good thing. I'm just saying that that's where I'm at.
Yeah. You know, here's another thing I want to say, just real quick before we get into it, right? Hello to you. It's really nice to see everybody in the room.
Right. I really enjoy you, George. You know, what a nice guy Gilbert. Back right back at you.
Touche. I'll take it. I love you, baby. Thank you.
I really do love you. I want to say that podcasting has fucked me up in terms of my humor, but now that I'm doing like TV friendly things, I don't even know what regular humor is. You know, like Nicole Bire, I'm nailed. She's on nail there.
She's so talented, this young, very nice lady, you know, and I've always enjoyed her. And she's doing like smart, you know, that's smart. Impressions and you know, they just do show business. They do show business stuff, right?
And I'm there like, I was molested. They're like, God, you can't. It's their kids. Yeah.
Yeah. Hey, I stuck in high school. That's not gonna be here. That's not gonna.
Hey, I masturbate to a weird porn. You can't say whatever it might be. You can't say for you, but they're gonna porn is old people. They don't cut.
Yeah. It's like, I don't know what it is. I don't know how to do the fuck is up. They're not scared.
They're not gonna lie. It's trash can. Oh, I thought it was like, scared you will. Yeah.
That's what we guys were getting mugged. That a dragging a mugging the most dangerous man in this entire neighborhood is Bobby Lee. That's definitely the truth. Yeah.
Yeah. Very dangerous, not physically, but just in my mind. I can implant things in your mind. Yeah.
Interesting. Thank you so much. He will burn our own house down. Cola, what happened recently?
Oh, well, that wasn't really his fault. Oh my God, you guys, have you ever thought about like, you know, when you worry about your own death, what are things that pop in your head? Like, is it would you die from the plane crash or do you die from a sickness? Like, what are things that cross your mind?
Oh, guilt. Sorry about that. I don't know what it's on. I want to be death by churro.
Like choking on a churro? Is that what you think about? No, but like working at a churro factory and then like something I miss happening and like 90,000 churros is landing on top of me and I just drown in it. Okay.
So I drown in my churro. I'll have a smile on my face. Stampede by churro. I love churro.
Okay. So what you're saying is you have final destination thoughts. I don't. I always, I always like my worries are always like either medical or my biggest one is car accident or even though like I'm a swimmer, you always never not think about drowning and stuff, right?
What never occurred to me was that I could potentially have a crushing injury or a crushing death by refrigerator. You know, fear that I didn't ever occurred to me and it almost happened to me tonight. So go she bro. I witnessed it.
Okay. Number one, I realized that I'm a coward. I don't have really good reflexes, right? And that whatever happens to Kalaila if she dies in front of my eyes reflex base, it'll be reflex based.
It'll be like she died in front of me and they're like, did you stop the book? Nothing. So you know how go ahead. So you know how Bobby flooded the home, right?
Bobby, aka the cat flooded the home, right? And so for the last two weeks, we've had construction workers basically rip out our floors and try to dry the floor underneath it. So they've had to our fridge is normally bolted onto the wall. And so to get to the floor underneath the fridge, they've had to unbolt the fridge and move it to the living space.
So there's just a freestanding fridge right in the middle of our living room, right? And I, Jules and I picked up the groceries and brought it upstairs to put it away in the fridge. And as I was putting stuff away in the fridge, I guess the fridge was on a slight tilt forward. And all the doors opened up.
Where was Bobby? He was actually sitting in the living room and watching this whole thing happen. No, I was not telling your version. Okay, first of all, my version is this.
Okay, I have no idea what the fuck you guys are doing. We're putting groceries away. I understand that, right? But I hear people lifting things and opening package or whatever, right?
Yeah. My attention is I'm watching the card, the CBS show. Yeah, I'm watching Star Trek, episode where the card falls in love with Nella. Okay.
And so I love love stories in it. You're as you know, I love love stories. As you know, I love Picard. You hate when Picard falls in love.
I don't I turn away from the kissing scenes. Whenever he tries to kiss, I just go, what the fuck right? I turn away. Because he's the captain and he don't kiss.
When you're the captain, you just everyone deserves love. I know when you pick up on it though, you know, because it was showed us on the TV show, but if that was real, he must masturbate. Oh, for sure. Yeah.
But imagine Picard, you know, I mean, it's a real great tea before bed. And then he places a little flute, secures his keypad to know when he's open. Right. Yeah.
And then he probably pulls his pants down and he goes, engage and make it so right. Where do you think he's blue jizz? Oh, shit, probably right. It probably splooches right under with a little climbal on the badge.
Yeah, on the patch, right? Or maybe it's blue jizz, right? Because they have these little, these little things on their neck that shows on the ranking. Oh, yeah.
Anyway, so they were socks on the enterprise. I don't fucking never thought you were super fat. I never, do they were I don't know what they need socks. I make assumptions that they make.
I never looked at like, wore shoes or anything. Like, I'm saying, so Picard is not a sploogin socks kind of guy. No, there's no way. I think that, who does their laundry?
Yes, Bob. That's interesting. I never thought of that. Is it a Korean?
There's so many things I've never thought of. I've never thought of if they wear socks, if they how to do their laundry. Yeah, but I assume that those things happen. They must.
I see them drinking, eat food and whatnot. Okay, sorry. So I'm watching Picard fall in love on the show. Yeah.
And all of a sudden, I hear and I look to my left and the fucking refrigerator is landing on Kalaila's head. This gigantic metal refrigerator and she's shoulder chucks it. All of the food and the jars, like the glass things broke on top of my body. At this point, are you Wonder Womaning like shoulder?
So what I did, I'm going to say this, I'm going to have to give a shout out. I know people hate group workouts, but I'm going to give a shout out to Barry's bootcamp. Shout to Barry. Because as Bob, it turns out I have superhuman strength and I didn't say a word when it was happening.
I basically just lifted the fridge. And Juliana was frozen trying to help me, but she couldn't because of the angle and this fridge was halfway like already. How much was that already at this point? Was it?
It was basically all the weight of the fucking refrigerator is on her shoulder, by the way. It was like this already that far? Yeah. The fridge just fell like straight over.
Imagine a tree falling over that all the glass and everything was crashing on my head and everything and I basically just had to deadlift it and push it back this way. Okay, so that is scary. So okay, that happens. You're first of all, you're watching love story.
So you're thank you. I'm watching Papa love his love stories. You see that fall on. I see it fall like what do I say?
What's the first thing? It's all I hear. I have to do a deep squat to pull the fridge off of me. Yeah.
All I could hear for 30 seconds. You're like, I know. I'll argue that timeline. And he I was like, can somebody fucking help me?
Not 30 seconds. I argue that. You know, I gotta give it up to Jill. So she tried so hard with her little legs.
She's a twig. I think she made it worse. She had a little fucking arm on the thing and she's in complete fucking shock. I get up and I start pushing the door handle.
Meanwhile, there's Kimchi, there's mustard, old salsa, old burrito, everything that was in the fridge. Everything was just scattered all over the thing. The dogs are freaking out. It was a fucking mayhem.
It was our own 911. You're on falling tower? Yeah, it was our own 911. And so we finally get into place and we all had just that moment of like, holy shit, Colala almost died by refrigerator.
And then the cops, the cops? No, if they did. What happened? The fridge fell on her hand.
Really? What happens? No, I just wanted that. I was watching it.
You like next generation? I would say that. I love stories. You like love stories.
You like love stories. You know what he said afterwards? Because he didn't want to get the mess. But what did you, were you pissed at this point?
Or were you kind of just like in disbelief? Eventually, after about, it felt like 30 seconds, he says 15 seconds. Eventually, he helps me do the final push on the fridge. Thank you.
You got there. So like the last 5% of my leg strength he, he helped with. But he got there. I got there.
And then, but he didn't want to help clean up the mess. So his thing was, I will not, he told me and Jules, he's like, I'm going to give you two weeks break of no booger attacks. Oh, wow. If you clean all of it up and Jules and I took a deal.
We hate when he like puts his in his book or not. You got to take that deal. I thought it was like once in a while. I was like, oh, I forgot to take that deal.
Wait, the booger attack? Hey, once a week, maybe. Can I just, can I just, can I just, he has a whole wall of boogers and he peels. It's not a wall of boogers and now can fall.
It's like, you know how people have sticker collections like that waxy paper? I love anything that sticks. Yeah. Yeah.
He has a whole booklet of boogers and like a sticker collection. And then he just chooses which booger to peel out of that disgusting thing. And then he puts it on us. So, um, I can't just define myself real quick.
Yes. Let's say George, let's say you and I were hiking. Never will, never will happen. But let's suppose.
And out of the sky, a fucking piano is falling. A full blown grand piano is falling towards your head, right? My first initial reaction is going to be able to process, right? Is that a piano?
Right. I mean, you, because you would, you would have to check your mind and your eyes to see if they're connected. Yeah. And then you have the fucking, so when the refrigerator is falling on her, that's what I'm going through.
Like, what the fuck is this going on? I'm processing what's going on because it's never happened before. I didn't think it would, it could ever happen. Right.
So that's what that 10 seconds is. You know, too, I will, I will agree with you in the sense that while it was happening and everything was falling on my body, I thought, is this a refrigerator attacking? Yeah, yes. See, that's what I'm saying.
I think it makes sense to me too. Like my instinct was just to push back, right? And to lift the freezer handle like, oh, wait. But I, you're right.
I don't think I maybe would have moved as fast either to help you have happened to you. Thank you. Thank you. So it was a bizarre, wow.
Yeah, incident. So you know, I have these like flashbacks. I have this fear that what if it was jewels? And she's like so much smaller than me.
And she's a strong girl, but she is, you know what I mean? You're physically different. She weighs on 90 pounds. She would have fucking died.
She weighs 90 pounds. Imagine that phone calls to the Philippines like to her mom like, Hey, yeah, you know, we have a gigantic metal refrigerator. She's like, yeah, I was that. Yeah, yeah.
Incidentally, I just want to say that, um, I forget it doesn't mean anything. It means everything. Tell me. Yeah.
Imagine we live in a world now where, you know, you can you can videotape at any moment, you know, you can, you know, the world is connected in that way. You can't really, you know, imagine trying to murder somebody. It's very difficult. Right.
But my point is, is that, um, like we get videos of like Karen's, right? Like a John Burgess, whatever, every day now, right? But now imagine the billions of Karen moments that were on tape, undocumented right now. And they were just here say, Hey, did you hear what Linda said?
Linda was acting all crazy saying that she won't wear a mask. You know, imagine there was a time where like, Karen's went free crazy, but did it, did it, did it take the exposure of Karen's and seeing it on social media for you to believe that there were that many that existed because I always knew they were around. You see, I'm hidden from Karen's. I've never even really run into a Karen before.
Oh gosh, really? Come on, you at airport. There's so many everyday life because I would have to because I'm so I would have to be in the mists of a Karen's outbreak. I would be I would have to be the catalyst to get a Karen to go.
And because I'm so mischievous and quiet and also underground, right? That I when I'm around in public places, I try to avoid like fucked up situations. I think I can read when a situation is about to happen or when I see a person, you know, just I just not just white people, but generally, some white people where I just kind of go, I think this is going to be an incident. Like I told you about like, you racial profile, the white people.
Oh, no, like, you know, I told you about what it's going to be an incident. Yeah. Like, you know, like when I was at a hotel once, right? And a white groundskeeper.
Yeah. You know how I dress? I dress sometimes I dress, what do you go? dystopian.
What's a groundskeeper? Yeah. It was he was a white man who was in charge of the groundskeeper. He was a groundskeeper.
Like a like a large ground. The only groundskeeper I know is from Harry Potter. No, he drew a drawer in a golf cart. He wore green, a green like from top to bottom.
One thing. So he was obviously has something to do with telling basically telling Mexicans, go trim that. Okay, God, Jesus. I know people that I get it.
I get it. You drove me into that. He's a boss, man. Basically the manager of landscaping.
I thought when he was a groundskeeper, I thought it was like somebody that oversaw like a mansion. No, when you go to a fancy hotel, right, where there's a lot of like lawns and like shrubbery and whatever, they have a probably they have a guy who's the groundskeeper. Okay. What's that word?
All right. So I'm sitting on a bench in a hotel in Arizona, and I looked dystopian, meaning my like one gene leg was there. The other one was not. Okay.
There's holes in my shirt. Yeah. Right. I think I just woke up.
I was having a cigarette. And like I had like my face was drooping. Bells. Bells.
Bells. Right. Because when I was stressed, you were stressed. When I wake up, not everything is awake at the same time.
I understand that. Okay. Thanks. I'm smoking.
You know, my face is drooping. I looked dystopian and I look like I didn't belong at the hotel. The groundskeeper comes up to me. All right.
I'm going to explain what that is anymore. Okay. He's like the definition. Just no, no, no, no, please don't.
All right. And he goes, where's your hotel key? Like, and there was other people around. Where there are other, you know, people drinking coffee and around, you know, dignified people, people that look like they belong there.
I go, excuse me. And he goes, are you staying at the hotel? You can't stay here. You can't be sitting here.
You mean, if you're not staying at the hotel. I mean, mind you, now, this is a Chad moment, right? But I didn't have my fucking phone on me. Right.
I couldn't tape it. So I just gave him my key. I'm staying room. This room.
I just walked away. Yeah. Right. That could have been a Chad Karen moment.
You know what I mean? I can't tell you though. Yeah. He was acting chatty.
Yeah, that was he was chatting. Yeah. So I could have taped him, but I avoided this avoided the situation. Did that make sense or no?
It makes sense. No, no, try to explain it because to me, now it doesn't make sense. Yeah. I think that someone is profiling you based on the way you appear.
Oh, just making an example of how I try to kind of like squash situations and walk away from it and not, you know, not put more gasoline on the fire. What I wanted to do is I will not give you my hotel key. What do you mean? Like other fucking people around, you're not fucking asking them for the hotel key.
So fuck you. You should ask them for his hotel key. Where's your hotel key? At the groundskeeper.
We have to keep it in. I mean, we had the movie theater, Chad and Karen. Helix, sleep, helix, sleep. Dude, guys, I have beds in my room.
And my bed's you have multiple rooms with any beds. Right. That's what I meant to say. You're a mattress game.
I'm the king of all mattresses. And I only use helix because it's the best kind. I really do. I'm people from the night my house.
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Me too. See, and it's so easy. You just take a quiz. You take a helix quiz online and they match you with a mattress based on your the type of sleeper that you are.
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They know we sent you helixleap.com slash TigerBelly. Draftkins.com. Oh, that's right. We were so angry at us because we screamed during a scary part of the movie and they wanted to fight us remember and they were making such and they were like, if you know that you you make sounds during a horror film, you should just watch this at home.
I'm going to admit something to you that I'm going to regret saying, but I don't like to edit myself. Okay. And it's going to be embarrassing to be saying this. Okay.
If it didn't happen to the floors down from the comedy club that I was performing at, I don't think that I would have confronted them. Interesting. Maybe you watched a movie. My ego was like, how do you, how this is so embarrassing.
I'll dare you. I'm on the market. Talk to me in my home turf. It's not only that.
Like I sold out every show. It's kind of like how you felt with the restaurant when the restaurant went to see you at. Right. Like, yeah, exactly.
Yeah. When I, you know, I mean, I just don't like being treated in a, fuck, I don't like being treated. I don't like being treated in a disrespectful way. You know, I mean, in an area where I'm killing it at.
It's an extra blow to your ego. Yeah. Just so embarrassing to say that. Whatever.
But I was there and I felt wronged because these people were so, you know, angry and wanted a confrontation out of us screaming at the scariest part of the movie. Like, that's, that's, I didn't even think about you playing that club at all. I just wanted to, you know, have it out with them because those little, they were fucking being little baby Karens. Yeah.
But the technology is basically what I'm saying. We live in a different world. No one got that on camera. Huh?
What? No one got that on camera. I was surprised no one at theater started filming that. That would be great.
You know what? We will film the next one. No. No.
We're never gonna have that again. We're just gonna walk away. Like, spineless creatures that we've always been. No.
I think the way you approach even the groundskeeper is like, why? Like, you might as well just go away. That's gonna happen. Yeah, because I always, I told you we've talked about the restaurant where the guys had pulled my pants up.
Yeah. It's, it's, again, it's those situations where I don't fight for my right to be there. You know, and I think in many ways I was trained. I've always been so self-aware that I was a small Asian guy, and I've always been self-aware that I live, you know, I'm much older than everyone here.
So I lived in a world where it was much more outwardly racist, I guess, and like, you know, people saying shit to me that was like, you know what I mean? In today's standard would have got them fucking fucked, right? But in, in my world, like I've had directors, I lived in Hollywood when I was in, I've done shoots where a director said like really racist shit to me. Like, I had a fucking director call me a flat face gook.
Oh, that's what you got. And then I, yeah, yeah, yeah, and I, yeah, that's where I got a fucking guy. And like, and then people just still going about their business as if he just yelled it, right? Yeah.
And like, and I'm sitting there going, here I got a flat face gook. That's me. That's me. And like, not been able to say anything or, and no one getting in trouble for it.
So I live, I'm very like mindful and also very sensitive the fact that I guess I should, I should, I should, we live in a different world. I should change the way I, you know, live in the world and fight for my right to be for being here. Yeah. If you guys are at a restaurant and let's say, there's kids running around, be very belligerent, parents aren't doing anything.
At that point, do you say something to the parents to the kids or do you just keep shut? What do you mean? So there's kids that are at a table nice to keep upping into your restaurant. They're knocking things over.
They're screaming. They're yelling parents are talking to their friends. Do you just sit there? Yes.
See why in that situation? Because, because that's, that's what I hate. My brother and I were at, you're going to hate this place, but we were at El solo. Oh, the Mexican restaurant?
Yeah. Yeah. Onstick. Hey, I respect the history of El Cholo.
I just, I'm not sold on the food. Is that an okay compromise for you? I love, I love the food. I think it's very historic.
I think that's, I love the food. It's just not my jam. I think there's so many awesome Mexican players. I understand that big.
Mom and pop shop, but they're fucking fucking chimichangas. The chicken, the chicken, the past on planet earth. They are, they're very good. The shredded tinga chicken.
I love it. My brother and I were eating the chicken. Chicken. Chicken.
Chicken. Chicken. Chicken. Chicken.
Chicken. Chicken. Chicken. combination.
Chicken. Chicken. Chicken. Chicken.
Chicken. Chicken skin. We're gonna bring up real truck, guys. And, uh, enjoy ourselves.
And when my brother and I, we, we, we talk like sailors. Fuck that guy. You know we just, you know, and we had a lady come up toward the table and go, excuse me. Were you, not, you know, used that profanity?
Like grandchildren are here. And my brother and I go, Sorry. And we just whispered the whole way, but no more. I'm no longer doing that anymore.
That's why I proposed that situation. situation, say the kids are next to you, bumping into you at the point where they're knocking down your glasses, see, like, switch it around. Why wouldn't you tell them, like, hey kids, sit the fuck down. Like, because I think my point of view is, you know, when you're at a table in a restaurant, regardless of what's happening, just mind your own fucking business.
I agree with Bobby, because in my head, the reason I would never say anything, it's like, you know what, it's hard enough to have kids. It's the same reason why I don't say anything, and I grin and bear when like a child is kicking the back of my seat in an airplane for 17 hours. Like one time on a flight to Melbourne, it was like a 15 hour flight, right? There was not only a crying kid, like a toddler, just straight up kicking my back the whole way through, but the woman on the aisle seat was about 350 pounds, so I couldn't get up to pee, so I politely told her that I was just like, don't worry about it, I'm just gonna crawl over you each time.
It was the worst flight of my life, but I just don't say anything, because I always just imagine it's probably harder for the parent back there, and it's probably harder for the woman next to me. Like, I'm young, I'm fine, nothing's really happening, and I just really kind of like, it doesn't, it bothers me, but probably not as much as their bothered, the parents, you know, so I'm just like, whatever, kids, like that's the one thing that I love about the Philippines that I have a fear of raising kids here versus raising them in the Philippines, because there's so much like shame and rules when it comes to parenting here, like in the Philippines, like your kid could be screaming, just being a kid, and then there are no repercussions. Over here, it's like, you know, silence your child, like take control of your child, and it's like, it's a fucking one and a half year old man, like, you know, but what if in the Philippines, I've seen this where a mother is dragging, you know what I mean, their child by their hair across, you know, a target, right? Yeah.
At that point, at that point, do I, at that point, do I say, you know, excuse me, don't drag your child by your hair, or do we mind-room business there? No, if a child is being harmed and abused, and like, no, I would absolutely intervene, I'd be like, what the fuck, lady, that's a kid? I would say something then, what the fuck are you doing? I'm gonna call somebody if you don't stop doing that.
Yeah, but I don't think I would do that. I would, that's fucked up. If you're not gonna go help a child who's obviously being harmed in that way, and but you know what, there have been situations legitimately where like, it's not our place. Okay, let me give you a scenario.
Make it good. It's gonna be very good. I'm gonna throw it to you, Gilbert. You're at a restaurant, buy yourself, and you see a friend of yours.
Let's call him Tommy G. Tommy G. Tommy G goes, hey dude, you eating by yourself? You know what I mean?
Hey, can I sit with you? Would you say, yeah? Yeah, sure, sit down. Okay, what if Tommy G had a friend?
My friend Billy is here. Billy sits down, and Billy has nice guy, you know, cool guy, right? But he had a tumor, right? The size of another human head, dripping from his head.
Is it oozing? No, it's not oozing, it's just a tumor that's just like hanging from his head, and you're eating with him. Would you be like, and the tumor's like, you're in a Mexican restaurant. And his tumor's like kind of dunking, it's dipping into the salsa.
Oh, I just go. Would you completely ignore the tumor? No, no, no, no. If he said that, I go, who's your friend?
Yeah. You make a joke immediately. Oh, oh, oh. I see what you're saying.
You look at you, that's very good. I see the friend, I see Billy. Oh, hey Billy, that's me. That would be just that with my pimples.
I would even put my hand out to the tumor and try to shake it. For me, I don't want to deal with like, because they know I see it. It's like I told you my friend with the three fingers on his hand. I will purposely shake his hand, squeeze it.
Like search for, because he knows that I know I'm feeling it. I don't want to deal with the awkwardness later. See, what I would do is different. I would do the opposite, right?
Oh, my God. I would try, because I don't want him to hurt his feelings. What I told you next? I know, but if his tumor was dipping into the salsa.
I would take a chip and still eat the salsa and pretend it didn't happen. You would probably even go pascal. Ooh. More flavor.
Yeah. Yeah. I think I would completely ignore it. Why do you ignore those things?
Because I don't want her to feel like I'm going to go, aye, nice tumor. You don't think it's condescending. Nice tumor, friend. He would laugh.
Nice tumor. That's funny. Do you ignore anything? Say someone has not a pimple, a deformity, which we all can see.
Do you have whatever bring it up or even asking about it or do you just go on? If it's very upfront and you're facing Bob and describe. I choose my moments wisely with people. I also am really sensitive to that stuff.
So yeah, I choose my moments wisely. I've never felt awkward around people with deformities just because I choose my moments. If they start the conversation and they want to open up, that's fine. If not, they're a regular human being.
If it doesn't get in the way of our actual conversation. If it doesn't get in the way, who cares? If it's getting into my salsa. I'd be like whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're like, yo, I would probably try to take a nap and take a nap and be like, you're getting it wet. You're getting yourself wet. Here's my point of view. If I have a tumor on my head and I meet anybody for the first time, I address the tumor.
I don't think you have to address the tumor. We all see it. No, but to make it not. I have a tumor.
No, no, no. I wouldn't be like that. I'd just be like, if I have a tumor face, I have a friend named Tommy G. Tommy G is like, hey, I'll just sit next to my friend Gilbert, right?
When I sit at the table before I even shake Gilbert's head, I'm going to be like, sorry about the tumor. It's so big. It's so big. Fall in the salsa.
So that it opens up the conversation for you to go to say things about it. Yeah, but why does he have to bear the emotional burden of your discomfort around him? Because I don't have to do like if something is wrong with me and let's say like I'm missing like an arm or whatever, why do I have to explain myself just so you're not uncomfortable? Where it's like, grow up.
It's shit. We're all different bodied. Like it's fine. Shit happens.
Where there are a lot of different fucking possibilities for how we can look. It's fine. An arm is different than a tumor, by the way. No, but what I'm saying is that you would have to address, I think.
Well, no, if it happened to me, I don't feel like I have to keep explaining to everybody around like what it is. Can you just get over the fact that yeah, something's possibly growing on my face and that it's different from yours and then just like move on. Yeah, I would say anyone I've encountered is usually being in comedy. So they are the ones that always bring it up.
Yeah, because I feel like that's a way to like the flat two. Like I feel like they do that because of course, you know, they're worried that people are uncomfortable around them. But if I had that shit, I'd be like sitting here discomfort. I'm not even going to explain to you what this shit is.
So at no point. So at no point, she does have a point. She goes, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's true.
Yeah, I'd be like, let me wipe your tumor for you. Now it's wet. Then do you order another salsa called the waiter or do you leave that? No, that's interesting.
I'll answer your question. Yeah. Look, if it's not an un-ogenic thing, no, I'd eat it because guess what? They're fucking people bare handed making your food anyways.
It's the same as fucking the meat on his tumor and the meat on their hands. That's fine. How rude it would be if you go waiter. I hear you whispering, dude.
Yeah. My tumor can hear you whispering. What kind of tumor are we talking about? Like an elephant chorog?
Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like an elf and Titus? Yeah.
I've seen that on like, you know, in that show that I love the body bazaar, right? I saw a lady with hands, right, that were like the size of, um, you know, a fucking ottoman. Like they were gigantic hands, right? So it's like, if I have those kind of hands and I meet somebody, you know what I mean?
Do I shake it or do I go, amen, you can just shake the finger. Oh, that's so specific. No, because it's so big. Like I would have to, because if you put your hand, it'll be weird.