Ep 4: Sib as a Car Stuck in High Gear

If someone asked you right now what you want (not what needs to get done, not what everyone else needs) could you answer?Andrew Perez couldn’t. For most of his life, the question didn’t even register as one worth asking. In this conversation, he and Sheena get into what it actually takes to go from surviving your childhood to building a life that has room for you in it and why that journey looks different when you’re a man doing it mostly alone, in spaces that weren’t built with you in mind.Together, they explore:* Why so many sibs become overachievers and what it costs* What it’s like to be one of the only men in sib spaces, and what Andrew wants other male sibs to know* The moment the pandemic forced him to finally ask for help and what he discovered when he did* How he learned to talk back to the voice in his head that told him he wasn’t worth taking up space* What healing actually looks like when you’ve spent a lifetime putting yourself lastThis one is for every sib who’s been running so long they forgot they were allowed to slow down.Content Note: This episode contains candid discussion of suicidal ideation, childhood abuse and neglect, parental alcoholism, and complex family trauma. Crisis resources are listed below.About Andrew Joseph PerezAndrew Joseph Perez is an actor, audiobook narrator, and self-acclaimed ‘Jack of All Trades.’ Andrew is a sibling to his younger brother who has a variety of diagnoses and is a wheelchair user. Andrew describes being his brother’s advocate since the age of five. Andrew learned how to read Tarot Cards after first learning how to read I Ching and Norse Runes.Resources MentionedMovember Foundation — men’s health, suicide prevention, and building community for men. Link us.movember.com988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988 (US). https://988lifeline.org/Proxy Podcast — Andrew referenced an episode called “Brian Can’t Stop Fact-checking His Mother-In-Law” exploring acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive diffusion with Dr. Claudia Drossel. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sibasahuman.substack.com