Ep. 5 The Girl Who Stayed, Part 1

Grace from Grace Filled Mama grew up as the seventh child in a family carrying more pain than they knew what to do with. When her mom began losing the ability to walk around the time of Grace's birth, the family's grief landed squarely on the one person least able to carry it - a little girl who spent years believing she was the reason for everything hard in her family's life.In Part 1, Grace takes us all the way back. We talk about what it felt like to grow up invisible in a crowded house, to be pulled out of her own education at age six, and to find ways to survive from the shadows. And then the packages started arriving - beautiful, mysterious dresses that kept showing up on her porch - and everything got more complicated from there.This is one of the most honest conversations I've had on this podcast. I think you'll feel that.In this episode:Growing up as the seventh child and the weight that came with thatHer mom losing the ability to walk and how that shaped the family's dynamicBeing pulled from her education at age six and learning to read on her ownMoving herself into the basement to take up less spaceThe first mystery package - and the pure joy that came with itHow her parents responded to the dresses, and what that taught her about herselfChildhood sexual abuse Suicidal ideation beginning around age sevenTrigger warnings:This episode contains childhood emotional abuse and neglect, childhood sexual abuse, suicidal ideation in a child, religious trauma, and descriptions of parental manipulation. Please take care of yourself as you listen.Resources:If anything in this episode brought something up for you, please reach out. You don't have to sit with it alone.United States:Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 | 988lifeline.orgRAINN (sexual assault support): 1-800-656-4673 | rainn.orgChildhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453 | childhelp.orgCrisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741International:Crisis Text Line (UK, Canada, Ireland): Text HOME to 741741Samaritans (UK and Ireland): 116 123 | samaritans.orgBefrienders Worldwide (international suicide prevention directory): befrienders.orgInternational Association for Suicide Prevention (crisis center directory): iasp.info/resources/Crisis_CentresConnect with Grace: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grace_filled.mama/Don't miss Part 2 - subscribe wherever you listen so it lands right in your feed.If this episode meant something to you, share it. That is how people who need it find it.