Episode 1: Learning to Ask for Help

Welcome to the first episode of the Healing the Roots Letting The Soul Bloom Podcast. Check out the Soul Care Resource Library!///It’s Thursday night… I am walking into yoga. “How are you,” my yoga teacher asks me as I bustle into the studio exactly two minutes before the start of class. Yes, I am that student. “Angsty, inflamed, and tired” I respond. Her jaw drops, mouth forms a perfect O, and her eyes widen— a perfectly appropriate response to my realness versus responding with a vague platitude like a normal person would. “I have been in my head and at my desk too much today. I’m looking forward to being on my mat and in my body tonight. I need it.” She responded, “I am so glad you are here. Yes, let’s go make that happen,” as she ushered me into the yoga studio.///I’ve been working on being honest, yes when someone asks how I am, but also even within myself. I check in with myself and notice how I am feeling and what I need, and then bonus points if I can express that to someone else, ideally my husband or a friend. In this, I am learning to not to control the outcome after I express my emotions and needs. So here’s the process: Step 1: Express emotions and needsStep 2: Detach from the outcome. I’m learning that I don’t need my friend to rescue me or my husband to do all the cleaning (although, that would be nice.) There are so many important growth opportunities in this process: * Developing self-awareness in how you really are and what you really need. * Growing in authenticity and vulnerability * Releasing control of what you can’t control. * Learning to deeply believe: “My needs are valid, and I am still okay even if this person can’t meet them.”Relationships become healthier because you can notice when they are reciprocal and mutual as well as name when things feel imbalanced. Additionally, when a partner can’t take on more, or when a friend says “no”, you can take it as an opportunity to honor their needs as well and find another way to reasonably support yourself. Finally, when you see that your friends are overwhelmed too, you can take it as an opportunity to learn how to better support them. ///I’ve been battling some autoimmune concerns, fatigue, achiness, and inflammation. I was in my own counseling session this week, and my counselor helped me to explore the load that I am carrying as well as the ways that I am supporting myself. Midway through session, she asked me to grab a notebook and write down ways I am taking care of myself. I did, and I was able to list a few things. She then asked me to place that list somewhere I can see it regularly— to remind myself that I am taking care of myself despite the overwhelming urge to equate my pain to my effort of self-care. It isn’t the same, friends. We can be taking great care of ourselves, and we might still experience pain, fatigue, depression, anxiety, etc., In other words, we can still have overwhelming emotions and big needs even when we are doing the absolute best we can in self-care and soul-care. Your turn. Grab a scrap of paper. Yes, right now. Get one. I’ll wait. ....Now write down ways you are taking care of yourself. Take some time and think… what are some things you do either daily or a couple times a week that are activities and practices that are supporting your overall wellness? ....Good.....Put that piece of paper somewhere you can see it. Let it remind you that you are taking good care of yourself even if your body, mind, and/or heart are still struggling. If wanted, you can take this exercise a step further: * Notice what are you feeling today. Take a moment to name a couple of feelings that come to mind. * What is something someone could do for you or with you that would feel supportive and helpful? * Identify someone you could ask?* Now, I’m going to help you ask- try this script. “I have been feeling ______. Is there any way that you could help me by _________?”* Remember to not base your worth on their ability or inability to follow through on what you’re asking. ///As we approach the holiday season, it is so easy to get swept up into the madness and forget to prioritize ourselves. You may come back to these activities or you might find yourself shifting into other activities that fit better into the speed of the season. What I hope most for you is that you can still take care of yourself first. In taking care of ourselves, you can take better care of all the other people in your life. As they say in the safety briefing on any airplane, put your own gas mask on first. Healing the Roots, Letting the Soul Bloom is a reader-supported publication created by Kristina Tucker—a trauma and maternal mental health therapist, and a mom living the journey right alongside you. Blending personal experience with professional insight, Kristina offers soul-nourishing tools to help you care for yourself deeply, so you can show up fully for those you love.Each newsletter delivers a thoughtful practice or invitation to reconnect—with yourself, with God, and with the people who matter most.By subscribing—whether for free or with a financial contribution—you’re helping build a growing library of therapeutic, faith-rooted resources designed to support emotional, mental, and spiritual wellness. Your support makes this work possible. Thank you for being part of it.Sharing is another way to support the work here at Healing the Roots, Letting the Soul Bloom. Can you think of someone who would love this post or could benefit from reading? I would love if you would share these resources, posts, and this newsletter far and wide.Is this post not quite what you need right now? I bet there’s something more supportive and helpful for you today, right here, right now in the Soul Care Resource Library! Check it out here: Get full access to Healing The Roots, Letting The Soul Bloom at kristinatucker.substack.com/subscribe