Episode 25: Compassion Fatigue

In this episode of "Bella In Your Business", Bella speaks with Holly Cook, author of My End of the Leash: Compassion Fatigue From a Pet Sitter's Perspective. She started pet sitting in 1994, and won the Pet Sitters International,  Pet Sitter of the Year award in 2004;  She has been serving the pet sitting industry by becoming a state Ambassador for PSI in 2005. She has also authored several articles presented at many pet sitting conferences. She has developed donation drives for communities devastated by disaster (From Missouri floods in 1993, 9/11, Hurricane Katrina to Hurricane Sandy.). Holly also became a certified Compassion Fatigue Educator through the University of Tennessee School Of  Veterinary Social Work in 2016. To say she is an advocate for the pets and the people who care for them is an understatement. Bella and Holly discuss what compassion fatigue is and how it differs from “burn out”  Holly discloses traits common among those susceptible to compassion fatigue including: Being a highly dedicated professional Always expecting positive feedback about work High demand for personal competence A personal history of exhaustion A large workload Lack of trauma training Identification with those in their care Those is a non-supportive work environment or unsupportive friends and family Holly then details some of the symptoms of compassion fatigue: Bone-tired exhaustion Insomnia Persistent physical ailments Apprehension Over exaggerated startle reflex Anxiety Depression Abnormal anger Rumination or excessive thoughts about an incident Clumsiness Nightmares and flashbacks Difficulty concentrating and forgetfulness Tendency to isolate from other people Inability to make a decision Intrusive imagery Reduced ability to feel sympathy or empathy toward other people or animals Denial of any of the above symptoms Grab her book here: My End of the Leash: Compassion Fatigue From a Pet Sitter's Perspective If you feel like this might be you, Holly encourages you to take the quiz on her website Learn more about Holly and her book in a previous article we wrote back in June when her book originally came out. Subscribe To The Show: Transcript: This is episode 25 of Bella in Your Business. Welcome to Bella in Your Business, where Bella will discuss anything and everything about your pet sitting business to help you land on target. So get ready—Bella’s got your chute. Let’s jump. Welcome to Bella in Your Business, where we talk about everything in and around the pet business. I'm your host, Bella Vasta with Jump Consulting. Today, I've got a real treat for you. I've got Holly Cook with me, and she has authored a book that is just going to help so many pet sitters in our industry. To give you a little background, Holly started pet sitting in 1994 and won the Pet Sitters International Pet Sitting Business of the Year Award in 2004. She has also been serving the pet industry by becoming a state ambassador for PSI in 2005 and has authored several articles and presented at several pet sitting conferences. She's developed donation drives for communities devastated by the disaster of Hurricane Katrina, Hurricane Sandy, and many others. Most recently, Holly authored the book My End of the Leash: Compassion Fatigue from a Petsitter’s Perspective. I've read this book from cover to cover, and it's just incredible. It’s an easy read that can be done in a couple of hours, but with an impact that will last a lifetime. Holly: Thank you for having me, Bella. I'm fine. Bella: So why don't we start off with most of our talk about burnout, but I want to know—is compassion fatigue? Holly: Compassion fatigue is a natural consequence of the work that we do as professional pet sitters. It stems from the physical and emotional exhaustion that comes from the constant demand of caring and from the interaction with the animals we are caring for as well as the interaction that we have with our clients. Because we care, we are vulnerable to compassion fatigue, and it's inevitable that somewhere along the line, most pet care professionals will suffer from it. It’s a gradual erosion of what makes us compassionate. So the very qualities that make us exceptional at our job are the very things that make us vulnerable. Bella: So would an example of that be something like my client has a pet that's going through a really hard time and I almost take that on emotionally? Holly: Well, yeah, kind of. Compassion fatigue is cumulative, and the effects of it range from an altered worldview and sense of safety to a buildup of negative imagery based on the traumas that you have experienced. There are eight personal traits of people in the pet care world that can suffer from compassion fatigue in a more impactful way. Those traits are: being a highly dedicated professional; always expecting positive feedback about our work; a high demand for personal competence; a personal history of exhaustion and overall lack of self-care; a large workload; lack of trauma training; identification with those in our care; and a non-supportive work environment or unsupportive friends and family. Bella: Wow, you just really articulated that very well. It also sounds very similar to how other pet sitters could figure out if they're suffering from it. Those things that you described—if anyone kind of heard what you were saying and perked an ear—I would welcome them to take a deeper look and maybe even take the quiz that you have on your website. Your website, hollycook.com, is fantastic. You have a quiz right there that anyone can go to right now and take if something that Holly just said perked your ears. So tell us what burnout is because that is definitely the widely used term. I don't think a lot of people know that there’s compassion fatigue and what the differences are. Holly: Burnout is different than compassion fatigue. Burnout stems from the environment in which you work. It derives its depth of frustration from your low job satisfaction. It builds up over time from excessive and prolonged stress at your job. You really no longer have the desire to do the job that you've been called to do. It isn’t related to trauma in any way and can be associated with working with difficult people. Burnout is temporary, and it doesn't really change your worldview. A vacation or change in jobs can alleviate the symptoms. Compassion fatigue, however, compels you to continue to work in your job. A person suffering from it will find themselves working harder and demanding perfection from themselves, but in actuality, they're accomplishing less and falling further and further behind. Compassion fatigue is not a disease, but a state of mental, emotional, and physical distress, and it comes with a set of individualized symptoms. Bella: Yes, and then I would love it if you have it in a doc so I could put it in our show notes for our listeners because this is such great information. Holly: The symptoms can vary, but many are universal. Bone-tired exhaustion; insomnia; persistent physical ailments like stomachaches and headaches; apprehension; anxiety; depression; abnormal anger; ruminations or obsessive thoughts about an incident; clumsiness; nightmares and flashbacks; difficulty concentrating; forgetfulness; isolation; inability to make decisions; intrusive imagery; reduced ability to feel empathy or sympathy; and the biggest red flag—denial of any of these symptoms. Bella: So tell me, do you need everything on that list or just some of them? Holly: The line is when you start to lose your ability to care for the animals in your charge. For me, the line was when I started having nightmares and intrusive imagery during the day. I fought compassion fatigue for four years before I even realized that it had a name. My mission is to educate people and get them to start talking about it because the sooner you catch it, the easier it is to adjust your life in order to live with it. Bella: The book is specifically about pet sitters and pets, but can this be applied in other areas? Holly: Compassion fatigue can happen to anybody in any kind of caring role—from being a mom with a special needs kid, to an adult caring for an aging parent, to a firefighter or police officer. Anybody in a caring role can experience it. I focused on pet sitters because I was one, and there was nothing out there specific to our industry. Pet sitters are more vulnerable because we care for pets and clients—so we’re straddling two worlds and getting a double dose. That’s what compelled me to write the book—it was part of my healing process and also to help educate others. Bella: It’s so great, and I know you’ve already been contacted by people thanking you for writing this because they finally feel validated. On the same hand, I want our listeners to know that it’s not just our industry—so many people experience this. The work you’re doing is incredible. So what other projects are you working on? Holly: I have two conferences coming up—one in Las Vegas and one in San Antonio—where I’m doing a presentation about compassion fatigue. The big news is that I’m writing a workbook specifically for pet sitters called A Pet Sitter’s Guide to Compassion Fatigue. It’s self-paced so pet sitters can work through it as their schedules allow. It will help them figure out if they’re suffering from compassion fatigue and what they can do to help themselves heal. Bella: That’s such a great thing. I’m thinking in my marketing mind that you could start a private Facebook group—a space for people going through it together. That’s so cool, Holly. I want everyone to know that My End of the Leash: Compassion Fatigue from a Petsitter’s Perspective truly is from a pet sitter’s perspective. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it’s relatable. It basically tells your life story—from childhood to present day—with your experiences,