Episode #251 Tools to Crush Unrealistic Expectations

🎙️ Title: Tools to Crush Unrealistic Expectations Good morning everybody, you’re listening to the Mindset Matters podcast, I’m your host Riley Jensen and today I want to talk about tools that can crush unrealistic expectations. Question for you... When was the last time you felt like you were behind in life? Behind in your career, behind in your sport, behind in… everything? Yeah… me too. Way too often. We chatted in a past episode about the one toxic little word: “should.” I should be further along. I should have figured this out by now. I should be perfect. It’s a dangerous word. However, his episode is all about crushing those unrealistic expectations—and replacing them with tools that actually move you forward. Tool #1: Gratitude—The Ultimate Reset Button I work with a high-level golfer named Taitum Beck. She uses a tool that’s ridiculously simple but insanely powerful. At the end of each round, no matter how she plays, she writes: ✍️ 3 things she’s grateful for ✍️ 1 thing she learned That’s it. Simple. But you wouldn’t believe how it transforms her mindset. When you're grateful, it’s nearly impossible to beat yourself up the same way. Gratitude grounds you in reality, not in some imaginary, perfect version of yourself. And it’s not just a warm, fuzzy idea. ✅ Gratitude improves sleep. ✅ Reduces anxiety. ✅ Improves resilience. ✅ Boosts performance. Science backs it. Stanford research shows that improving sleep alone from 6.6 to 8 hours a night improved athlete performance across the board—faster reactions, better shooting percentages, and fewer mistakes. Want to be clutch? Want to show up better for yourself? Start with gratitude. Tool #2: Humor—Laugh at the Crazy Sometimes you just have to stop and go… “Well, THAT’S a ridiculous expectation.” Call it out. Laugh at it. Take its power away. “I should be perfect today.” Really? Since when did anyone master life in a day? Tool #3: The Double Standard Test Ask yourself: “If my best friend were in this exact same situation… what would I say to THEM?” Chances are, you’d be kind. You’d be supportive. You’d remind them of how far they’ve come—not how far they “should” be. Why not talk to yourself the same way? Tool #4: The Impact Check Here’s an exercise: Write this down. What is the COST of my unrealistic expectations? Do they make me better… or just miserable? Do they push me toward growth… or toward burnout? Sometimes, just seeing the damage they cause is enough to start shifting them. Tool #5: Forgiveness—Out Loud This one’s big. When the pressure is mounting, I literally say out loud to myself… “It’s okay, Riley. You’re doing the best you can with the tools you have.” Forgiveness isn’t weakness. It’s fuel for the next step forward. Tool #6: Flexibility—Let Go of Perfect Life doesn’t follow your perfect plan. Neither does growth. Being flexible isn’t giving up. It’s adjusting. It’s pivoting. It’s learning that change isn’t failure—it’s just… change. 🔥 Challenge for You Today: Pick one of these tools. Just one. Start a gratitude journal. Try the double standard test. Forgive yourself—out loud. Then ask yourself this: “What expectation have I been carrying… that I can finally let go of today?” [Closing Thought] We often create pictures of how we think our life should look right now. And typically we get angry or frustrated when it doesn’t look the way we think it should. Tear up that picture. Live YOUR life, not the imaginary one in your head. You didn’t come this far just to come this far.