Episode 43: Helping Your Clients Deal With Pet Loss Grief With Wendy Van de Poll

In this episode, Bella speaks with Wendy Van de Poll, the founder of The Center for Pet Loss Grief and an international best selling and award-winning author and speaker. They discuss pet loss grief and what pet professionals can say and do to be supportive to their clients in their loss. They also talk about how pet professionals can deal with their own grief. Topics covered are: What is pet loss grief What you as a pet professional should do when a client gets the news that their pet has a terminal illness How to help your clients when their pets die What you shouldn't say or do How a pet professional can deal with their own grief over losing an animal client Wendy Van de Poll is a pioneering leader in the field of pet loss grief support. She is dedicated to providing a safe place for her clients to express their grief over the loss of their pets. What makes Wendy successful with her clients is that she get’s grief! “Over the years I’ve dealt with my own grief and helping many families communicate and connect with their pets long after their loss. It’s what I’ve done since I was just 5 yrs old!” She is compassionate and supportive to all who know her. Her passion is to help people when they are grieving over the loss of a pet and her larger than life love for animals has led her to devote her life to the mission of increasing the quality of life between animals and people no matter what stage they are in their cycle of life! She has been called the animal whisperer. She is a Certified End of Life and Pet Grief Support Coach, Certified Pet Funeral Celebrant, Animal Medium and Communicator. She is the founder of The Center for Pet Loss Grief and an international best selling and award-winning author and speaker. She holds a Master’s of Science degree in Wolf Ecology and Behavior and has run with wild wolves in Minnesota, coyotes in Massachusetts and foxes in her backyard. She lives in the woods with her husband, two crazy birds, her rescue dog Addie and all kinds of wildlife. You can find out more about Wendy and the Center for Pet Loss Grief at https://centerforpetlossgrief.com. Subscribe To The Show: Transcript: This is episode 43 of Bella in Your Business. Welcome to Bella in Your Business, where Bella discusses anything and everything about your pet sitting business to help you land on target. So get ready—Bella’s got your chute. Let’s jump. Welcome to Bella in Your Business. My name’s Bella Vasta with Jump Consulting, and today I've got a really interesting topic for you. I want you to think back to when you had a client who lost a pet or maybe even yourself. Do you remember that feeling of being beside yourself, having no idea what to say, what to do, what kind of sympathy card to give, what kind of flowers to send? It’s just a really helpless feeling, right? Today’s guest is Wendy Van De Pol, a pioneer leader in the field of pet loss grief support. She’s dedicated to providing a safe place for her clients to express their grief over the loss of their pets. Among many other things, Wendy’s also going to explain how we can help support our clients—and how she can help support us. Bella: Wendy, thank you for being on the show today. Wendy: Thank you, Bella. I'm really excited to be here. Bella: Why don’t you start out and give us a background—how did you get started on this, and what exactly is a loss grief coach? Wendy: It’s kind of interesting how I got started. I'm an animal communicator and animal medium as well. I've been talking to animals on the energetic level since I was five years old. I always found myself helping others when they lost a pet. People often ask me how I can do this—it’s so depressing—but I don’t find it depressing. It’s a gift. Animals give us so much, and by helping people get in touch with their grief, they actually build a deeper bond. Bella: That’s beautiful. Wendy: Thank you. How I became a certified end-of-life and pet loss grief coach is a bit unique—there really wasn’t a certification available. I’m also a life coach, and my teacher for continuing education designed a special program for me focused on end of life and loss. So he certified me as his first pet loss grief and end-of-life coach for pets. Now, I work with people all over the world, and I’ve written a number of books on the subject. Bella: That’s incredible. So what exactly is a pet loss grief coach? Wendy: It all depends on who calls me and what stage they’re in—sometimes it’s right after getting the news that their pet is dying, other times it’s years later. For example, I get emails or calls like, “My dog is dying. What do I do?” I’ve also had emergency vets reach out, overwhelmed after euthanizing several animals in one day. No matter what stage someone is in—new or 20 years later—it’s about helping them make their own decisions, become empowered by their journey, and guiding them through it. I’m not a psychologist; I don’t fix things. I help them discover what normal grief is and how to move through it. Bella: It sounds like you’re showing them a roadmap. Wendy: Exactly. It’s a journey. I hold hands with these people and walk the journey with them. Bella: What’s the first thing a pet professional can do when a client gets the news that their pet has a terminal illness? Wendy: As pet professionals, you’re not only developing a relationship with the human client, but also a special bond with the pet. So when that pet gets sick, you’re dealing with your own shock as well. The first thing you can do is not try to fix them. Learn what normal grief looks like and what to say—because even well-meant words can trigger grief. Bella: Right, and the grief can start even before the pet passes. Wendy: Exactly. Bella: When the pet dies, what’s the first thing a pet professional can do to help? Wendy: Sympathy cards, phone calls, or small gifts are all wonderful. The key is acknowledgment—acknowledging the client’s feelings. You can even send a card a year later on the anniversary of the pet’s passing. Bella: Could that backfire, though? Wendy: It shows that you care. It’s a beautiful gesture. But pet sitters should remember that they’re not therapists—speak from your heart and be authentic. Down the road, even if they’re no longer clients, they’ll remember that gesture. It’s also a good business practice—keeping that connection alive. Bella: That’s great advice. Wendy: You can even keep a remembrance calendar next to your pet birthday calendar to track anniversaries. Bella: I love that. That’s a great idea. [Commercial break for ProPet Hero] Bella: We’re back with Wendy, who’s been sharing amazing insight on how to handle grief as pet professionals. Wendy, what are some things we absolutely shouldn’t do? Wendy: Two big ones: don’t give advice and don’t compare stories. Saying, “When my dog died…” or “Here’s what another client did…” may seem helpful, but it can trigger guilt and resentment. Everyone’s grief is unique. Bella: That’s so true. Wendy: Another one is saying, “I’m so sorry to hear that.” It’s common but not always helpful—it implies fault. Instead, validate the loss: “I’m so sad to hear that your dog passed. Would you like me to listen to how you’re feeling?” That creates a safe space. Bella: That’s powerful. And you’re right—online, especially on Facebook, people say “I’m so sorry” all the time. It’s almost lost its meaning. Wendy: Yes. Replace “sorry” with “sad” or “compassion.” Avoid “I understand,” because we can’t truly understand someone else’s experience. These small changes make a big difference. Bella: That’s so helpful. Many pet sitters have templates or manuals—these examples would be perfect to include for guidance. Wendy: Absolutely. Bella: How can a pet sitter or dog walker take care of themselves when they lose a client’s pet? And how can they help staff members who are grieving too? Wendy: Training is key—learning what normal and abnormal grief look like, what to say or avoid, how to care for yourself. It’s a great topic for employee meetings and manuals. It also builds trust—your team feels supported, and clients see your professionalism. Self-care is crucial. Burnout and grief go hand in hand. Create a self-care plan—massage, time offline, setting boundaries. Don’t be available to grieving clients 24/7; that can drain you. Understand your own beliefs about death and grief. Are you afraid of death? What do you believe about the afterlife? Knowing this helps you stay grounded. Bella: That reminds me of my earlier interview with Holly Cook on compassion fatigue. These are connected—grief can trigger long-term emotional strain. Wendy: Exactly. Awareness helps prevent that spiral. Bella: I love that. And you have resources to help pet professionals, right? Wendy: Yes, my upcoming book Pet Loss Grief for the Pet Professional focuses on this topic. I’d love to include case studies from listeners—stories about how they’ve dealt with client pet loss. They can contact me at www.centerforpetlossgrief.com. I also have other books that go deeper into normal versus abnormal grief, myths, what to say, and what not to say. They’ll be available on Kindle for 99 cents on April 20th and 21st. Bella: That’s wonderful, Wendy. Thank you so much for coming on the show and for teaching us something we don’t talk about enough. Wendy: Thank you, Bella. I’ve had a wonderful time. Bella: This has been another episode of Bella in Your Business. 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