Episode #98 The Relationship vs The Transaction

Building relationships with people who are different to you is one of the 5 vital steps to progressing your career as a black lawyer and it's exactly what I teach you inside BE THE FIRST. But what do you do when it doesn't work? This was the question one of my clients brought to coaching inside BE THE FIRST and it's the question I'm answering for you in this week's episode of Legal Imposters. You know the experience: you reach out to a partner in another office who you hope will send you more work; or you take a potential client to an event with a follow up over lunch and in either case, nothing happens. So you throw your hands up in despair and declare: "I've tried but it's not working" "I've been making the effort but I'm not getting anything out of it" This, my friend, isn't relationship building. It's transaction chasing. Transaction chasing is when you go through the motions of building the relationship but you're focused on what's in it for you. Transaction chasing will keep you busy, but it won't bring you the support you need to progress, the opportunities to showcase your value or the clients to support your business case. None of this comes from the transaction. It comes from the relationship. Relationship building isn't about you and what you can get out of it, it's about the person you're building the relationship with. It's you getting to know them as a human being, discovering what they want, need and care about and finding as many ways as you can to add value. There's more. It's not enough to know them. You have to let them know you and be willing to keep building the relationship for as long as it takes for connection to form. This is how you build relationships that progress your career. P.S. If you're a mid to senior level black lawyer and you're struggling to build the relationships that will launch your career to the next level, I can help you with that. Join BE THE FIRST career progression coaching for black lawyers to learn the 5 vital steps to progressing your career as a black lawyer and be coached by me every step of the way. Enrolment for the September 2025 class opens 21st August 2025. Save this date to your calendar and make sure you follow me on social media so you don't miss the announcement.