First: Triggered by Twain

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here. New podcast, who dis? Can someone please tell me what to do?   Seriously, if you are a person, and you can read this, and you know anything, and by anything I mean ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING, please please please please please write me an email with tips about podcasting.  Or some good soup recipes.  I do like those.  Or any easy recipes, really.  Just don't sent me recipes for something complicated like Sushi.  I'm not brave enough to try Sushi.  But maybe I am?  I just made a podcast, and that's a thing, so... Sure, send me whatever recipes you want, even if it's something complicated.  I'll at least write back an email.  Unless we get big.  Which we won't, but if we do, I'll have some assistant write you back.  But that's only if you're reading this in 10 years or something, and we got big enough to sell this to somebody else for like $50 dollars or something, and they are nice enough to actually write people back.  I hope that happens.  I mean, I hope the part about emailing people back happens in ten years, not the part about selling this for $50.  I hope it's something much higher, like $200 or something.  Yeah, I have hopes and dreams too, like a real boy.  Boys come up in this podcast, for like 1 minute.  Ugg, I hate listening to myself.  But it's not what you think.  It's not the sound of my voice that bothers me, because even though I have a useless bag of flesh on the front of my face that  is good for absolutely nothing unless it's spring and it decides to just leak its flesh juice all over the place, and the overall effect of this dumptster-fire of an organ is that I sound like 3rd place in most nasally voice contest, it's the absolute balderdashtistic nonsense things that I say that makes me hurt under my fingernails and inside my eyeballs. So, yeah... This is our podcast.  Hope you like it.  Well, that's not true.  My hopes are far lower than that.  I hope that you recognize it as a podcast, and not some TTS voice activator applied to a really generous and aggressive machine learning algorithm applied to the text output of my kids banging on my computer keyboard.  Yeah, I'm can afford a computer.  Come at me, bro.  Computers come up in this episode.  A surface, computer, in particular. I totally forgot what I was supposed to be doing in this field, and I need to go to bed tonight, so I'm going to finish this form and hope for the best. Cheers! Edit: I forgot to put in the podcast email.  [email protected]